Half of the British parents are too tired to have sex, a study has revealed - but don't fear, a relationship expert shares her tips on how to get more than just sleepy cuddles under the covers.
Our lives are busier, parenting roles are just as demanding and the expectations that we can just cram everything in are higher than ever, but something's got to give and it looks like sex is on the back burner for many parents. But if you want to know how to spice up your relationship or are thinking of exploring Tantric Sex, you might want to solve the tiredness first.
A study shows nearly half of British parents (48 per cent) said that feeling exhausted from parenting responsibilities has made maintaining their sex lives harder.
The survey, carried out by MOJU, a functional juice brand, reports that three in five parents agree that parenthood harms their sex lives, with one quarter even lying to friends about how much sex they're having. But despite the dry spell, one in three parents surveyed say they want to have sex more often (and haven't gone off sex altogether).
When asked what they are trying to do to liven up their libido, 19 per cent admitted they are changing their diet in a bit to ramp up their energy in the bedroom - with more than one-quarter of gen Z respondents keen to explore libido-boosting foods. Men were four times more likely to try so-called aphrodisiacs such as chocolate, figs, oysters and ginger.
We asked Clio Wood, mental health and sex positivity advocate, and author of Get Your Mojo Back, Sex, Pleasure and Intimacy After Birth what parents can do to combat the issue. She tells GoodtoKnow, "Parenthood is exhausting, there's no two ways about it, so sometimes, cutting yourself some slack around expectations of how much sex you should be having is the best thing you can do for yourself. The exhaustion will ease and you will have more time for each other, but it can feel unending when you're in this phase. Try switching around your schedule and making time for sex during the day - that way you're not craving sleep the minute you hit the mattress in the evening."
But every busy parent knows that's easier said than done - not only are working mums dealing with 'mum guilt' of not spending enough time with their children, they're also coming to terms with matrescence.
Clio advises couples to focus on quality sex, not quantity. "There's no point aiming for loads of sex if it's not satisfying either of you. The best quality sex takes place when there's a connection between you and often that takes time and headspace. And if the sex is better, the more you might want to do it...it's a virtuous circle."
She shared her tips for setting aside time for intimacy as a couple. "It might not seem sexy, but scheduling time in for connection and intimacy is often the key to carving time out as busy parents. Whether that's once a week or a daily five minutes, find whatever works for you. Even if that isn't a slot for sex itself, building up a bank of connection and being nice to each other can really help when the time does come to get back in the sack."
And if you are still struggling, Clio suggests taking a break from screens to combat 'over-stimulation' draining your energy.
"These days we are hugely over-stimulated, from the constant social media scroll, to always being contactable, to the pressure of shopping and consuming, to the overwhelm of the 24/7 news cycle. It's a lot for our brains to take in and it leaves us wired but tired. It's not just the screen time that hinders us, but the overwork of the brain too, so the sleep we do get is not as nourishing and restful as it should be. Taking time out from screens for a whole day once per week, as well as the usual overnight reset, can really help combat over-stimulation."
In other relationship news, we spoke to a body language expert who tells us how to tell if someone likes you. If you're looking to spice things up, you might want to read up on what is spooning and its benefits.
