I love a good joke as much as the next person. Whether it begins with “Knock, knock,” a horse walking into a bar or a cheesy set-up for a hilarious pun, I’m all ears. But there are some off-limits topics that we should never poke fun at, especially if they’re already sensitive to the audience.
One childfree woman reached out to Reddit seeking advice after her mother-in-law made a “joke” about messing with her birth control that she did not find funny at all. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies concerned readers shared.
This woman and her husband always agreed that they didn’t want children
Image credits: a_medvedkov / envato (not the actual photo)
But after her mother-in-law casually joked about sabotaging her birth control, she began to get worried
Image credits: Few_Function_9129
The woman also provided some more background information on the situation
Readers assured her that she had every right to assert boundaries, and some called out her husband for failing to show support
The author later confronted her husband and shared an update on the status of her marriage
Image credits: drazenphoto / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Few_Function_9129
Nearly half of adults in the United States have no plans to have children
In many places, it’s still the norm to want to have children. But, as I’m sure you’ve heard, birth rates are declining in Europe, the United States and many Asian countries. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2023, 47% of American adults between the ages of 18 and 49 said they’re unlikely to ever have kids. In 2018, however, only 37% of adults in the US said the same.
As far as why these individuals have decided to be childfree, the majority noted that they simply don’t want to have kids. Many also reported that they want to prioritize focusing on other things, are concerned about the state of the world and admit that they can’t afford to raise children.
Some also expressed concerns about the environment or noted that they haven’t found the right partner yet. And one in five admitted that they just don’t really like kids. Of course, many childfree people also see advantages to not starting a family.
The majority noted that they have time for their hobbies and interests, are able to afford the things they want, can save for the future, are successful in their career and are able to maintain an active social life.
But there can be downsides as well. Despite the fact that deciding whether to have kids or not is a deeply personal choice, people who are vocal about being childfree often face backlash.
The British Psychological Society reports that these adults are often “perceived as more selfish, immature, emotionally unstable and deviant than parents and less psychologically fulfilled, happy and loving.”
It’s also common for childfree adults to face immense pressure from their families and friends to have children. Many parents feel entitled to grandchildren, and friends might feel like they don’t have as much in common with their loved ones if they don’t become parents as well.
Many women today still face an immense amount of pressure to have kids
Image credits: freestocks / unsplash (not the actual photo)
BetterHelp reports that this pressure can take a toll on a person’s mental health. It can cause stress and anxiety and might trigger the fight-or-flight response in individuals when they’re pressured to make a choice that doesn’t feel right for them.
If someone feels like they have to have kids, to keep others happy or to conform, they might also become incredibly anxious about how their life will change and how they’ll be able to financially support their growing family.
Women, in particular, tend to receive even more pressure to become parents than men, despite the fact that it takes two to tango. Rebecca Harrington notes in her 2019 research that women who choose not to become mothers often face stigma for refusing to conform to the “nurturing female” expectation society has established.
Abigail Locke, Professor of Critical Social and Health Psychology at Keele University, also pointed out in a piece for The Conversation that women not only face pressure to have kids, but also to have them at the right time.
If they’re too young, they’re seen as irresponsible. But if they wait too long, they’re viewed as selfish for becoming an “old mom,” which comes with more health risks for both the mom and baby.
Regardless of when a woman decides to become a mother, however, she’s going to face more pressure than her male partner to sacrifice her career to raise her kids.
It’s clear that having kids is a personal choice for each couple to make. But joking about sabotaging someone’s birth control isn’t funny at all. In fact, that would be reproductive ab*se and coercion. So, as readers pointed out, there’s absolutely no reason for this woman to feel guilty about asserting boundaries with her mother-in-law.
Finally, readers applauded the woman for standing up for herself
