One of the most important factors in any relationship is trust. You should never question whether or not your partner will be there for you, and they should be confident that you’re not going to suddenly leave in the middle of the night. But do you still have the right to keep some secrets to yourself, even when you’re in a relationship?
One man started getting curious about what his girlfriend was storing in their closet, so he decided to take a peek. But he stumbled upon something that made him start questioning their entire relationship. Below, you’ll find the full story that he posted on Reddit asking for advice, as well as some of the replies concerned readers shared.
This man let curiosity get the best of him and started snooping through his girlfriend’s things
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But nothing could have prepared him for the box that he discovered
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: reddit
Readers were shocked by the story, and many warned the author that his girlfriend might not have his best interest in mind
Later, the man posted a photo of the box (which is no longer available), and readers responded to its contents
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Then, after confronting his girlfriend, the man shared an update clarifying the status of their relationship
Image credits: reddit
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
60% of people have kept secrets from their significant other at some point
If you ask a dozen people what secrets are acceptable to keep from their significant other, you’ll probably hear a dozen different answers.
Some couples swear that they tell each other everything, even if it’s disgusting, uncomfortable or painful. Meanwhile, others prefer maintaining an air of mystery in their relationship, even if they’ve been married for years. After all, what their spouse doesn’t know can’t hurt them, right?
Well, keeping secrets from your significant other can be a slippery and dangerous slope. Despite the fact that 60% of people have concealed information from their partners at some point, Brette Sember, JD, at Divorce.com warns that this can eventually destroy a relationship.
Failing to be honest with your partner can erode the trust in your relationship, lead to poor communication, breed resentment, cause stress and anxiety, lead to bigger relationship issues and hurt both parties involved. So why do so many people do it?
Sember notes that the desire to tell lies or hide the truth can come from shame, fear of judgment or criticism, avoidance, a lack of trust, a fear of hurting your partner or a fear of losing your partner.
While it’s always best to be honest with your significant other, VeryWell Mind notes that it’s also important to choose the right moment to open up to them. Don’t reveal a big secret right before bed time, when you’re already grumpy, if either of you are drunk, when you’re in a stressful situation, when someone is tired or sick or when your partner is already dealing with bad news.
Image credits: Ethan Sykes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Concealing the truth can erode trust and damage relationships
But what about if you think your partner is hiding secrets from you? Is it ever appropriate to snoop through their things? When it comes to looking at your partner’s phone, therapist April Kilduff, MA, LCPC, LMHC, says it’s best to resist the urge.
“I think it’s important to remember that boundaries and privacy are allowable in relationships,” Kilduff told NOCD. “When you start checking someone’s phone, you erode the trust and the natural leap of faith you took when entering into the relationship.”
If you feel the need to look through your partner’s phone, it probably means one of a few things. There may be trust issues in your relationship, and/or you suspect your partner of cheating.
Or for some people, this behavior stems from a subset of OCD known as relationship OCD. This often causes individuals to seek constant reassurance and validation in their relationship, repeatedly replay interactions in their head and compare their relationship to others they see on social media or in real life.
So what can you do instead of looking through your significant other’s things without their consent? A much better option is simply communicating. Having an open and honest conversation with them can go a long way, and it can help to build trust. Then, in the future, you might not feel the need to snoop around.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you stumbled upon the box that this man found in his closet? Feel free to share. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, we recommend reading this one.
Readers still weren’t satisfied though, and many echoed their previous concerns
