New relationships can be tricky. You’re typically both still feeling each other out and getting to know the truth of each other, date by date. This means you might not be as decisive in choosing to pursue or discard the relationship in the early days.
One woman reached the end of her tether after just 6 months of dating her new boyfriend. Apparently, he’s in the habit of being a bit flakey and after one cancellation too many, she gave him the cold shoulder. She’s since turned to netizens for advice.
More info: Mumsnet
The dating game can be a bit of a roller coaster, as this woman is finding out too late for her liking
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After six months of dating her current boyfriend, she’s had it up to here with his flakey behavior
Image credits: Mahmoud Yahyaoui / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Despite being the one to make the arrangements for a Valentine’s Day breakfast, he called off yet another date at the last minute
Image credits: dikushin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Feeling sad and unappreciated, the woman gave him the cold shoulder when he approached her on the street later that day
Image credits: Sadorpetty
Frustrated, the woman turned to netizens to ask if blanking him was petty or reasonable considering how much he’d messed her about
OP starts her story by telling the community that she’s been in a relationship for the past six months before adding that her boyfriend can be a bit flakey. She says she tries to be accommodating when he’s stressed about work or family issues but that after he canceled on her that morning, she’s really feeling low and taken for granted – this isn’t the first time he’s disappointed her like this.
She goes on to say that because they wouldn’t be seeing each other next week, they’d planned to have a Valentine’s Day breakfast as they generally can’t do Fridays and weekends. Well, he texted her at 7 AM to cancel with a really lame excuse and suggested she have breakfast with a friend instead.
Severely annoyed, OP says when they bumped into each other on the way home from work, she gave him the cold shoulder, admitting he’d probably think it rude. She adds that there’s a pattern of her putting more effort into the relationship than he does, and it’s left her exhausted.
She says she’s not sure when she’ll hear from him again, but that she also isn’t sure she even wants to. OP concludes by asking the readers if blanking her boyfriend was an unreasonable thing to do or entirely warranted considering his behavior.
From what OP tells us in her post, it would seem that her boyfriend has a habit of taking her for granted. He’s also being emotionally lazy and certainly not putting enough energy into a relationship that’s still so new. It doesn’t look like he’s interested in changing his behavior either, so what are OP’s choices? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to the Couply website, there are a few clear signs a relationship is probably worth fighting for. Some of these include having shared goals and values, love and commitment, a willingness to change, effective communication, and issues that are fixable, even if they require a bit of work.
In her article for Psychology Today, Annie Tanasugarn (Ph.D.) writes that while being in a relationship can be a very rewarding experience, we have to be able to discern whether the relationship is supportive of our growth or stifling it.
Tanasugarn contends that we also have to be able to differentiate between common relationship difficulties that can be treated (communication breakdowns, or a fading spark) versus more serious red flags that indicate the relationship should end soon.
A few of these warning signs include a compulsive need to be “perfect,” a relationship that is trauma-bonded, being in the relationship for the wrong reasons, a constant “need” for distraction, and either partner having limited empathy.
Well, OP did eventually give him the boot, and who can blame her? Now on to finding someone who isn’t a gigantic flake with commitment issues.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her boyfriend deserves another chance, or should she show him the door? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that the woman wasn’t being unreasonable and slammed the boyfriend for his inexcusable behavior
