It takes a village to raise a child and probably even more folks to help raise triplets. Having three children at once means the parents need to be on top of their game and ready for pretty much anything. During such a time, the support of family and friends is crucial.
Unfortunately for one mom with triplets, she only received this kind of help from her parents, whereas her in-laws never offered to do anything. She felt slighted by their lack of support and decided not to invite them to the children’s second birthday party.
More info: Reddit
People who have to look after many young kids at once know how important it is to have loved ones helping out from time to time
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster mentioned that she and her husband welcomed triplets that were born prematurely and had to be kept in the NICU for a long time
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman’s parents were very involved with the triplets’ care, whereas the in-laws kept making promises about visiting but instead, only helped out with their other grandkid
Image credits: pch.vector / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman noticed that her in-laws prioritized their other grandchild and seemed to show him favoritism, so she discussed the matter with them, but they denied doing so
Image credits: Curls_Galore
Since the woman felt so strongly about her in-laws’ favoritism, she decided not to invite them to her triplets’ second birthday party
The poster shared that her triplets had been born prematurely, and that meant that they had to be put in intensive care for a long time. With so much tension regarding the children and so much to adapt to, it was wonderful to have the support of her parents. On the other hand, she realized that her in-laws weren’t around as much as she’d have wanted them to be.
People who have had multiples mention that it takes a lot more effort to look after the needs of all the kids. It is very important to have a good support system that can take care of the children and thereby help the parents rest and relax when needed. Many people are open to helping out and being there, all it takes is to ask.
The OP did mention to her in-laws that she felt hurt by their absence from the lives of the triplets. They had work and other responsibilities, but she wanted them to be there for the children just like they were for their other grandkid. They made the excuse that caring for three children was too hard, and that’s why they weren’t so involved.
Unfortunately, sometimes, the people you expect to be in your kids’ lives might be the ones who are absent. Experienced parents mention that it’s important to accept the hurt and pain caused by such actions. Rather than continuing to expect them to show up and then getting disappointed, it’s important to lean on the people who have shown themselves to be reliable.
Image credits: Amina Filkins / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A significant thing that the poster noticed was how much her in-laws seemed to favor their other grandkid. They put pictures of him up all over their house, kept a private room for him, and made an effort to spend extra time with him whenever they could. On the other hand, they never seemed to do that for the triplets.
This is the unfortunate experience of many moms who often believe their family will rally behind them after giving birth. The reality may actually look way different than imagined, and their loved ones may behave in a completely different way. Especially when there are many young kids in a family, the behavior of each person may vary for different children.
The OP kept giving her in-laws a chance to be involved in the lives of the triplets. Unfortunately, they kept letting the couple down. In the end, the woman decided she didn’t want her in-laws to attend her children’s second birthday party. She knew that doing so would lead to a big fallout, but she was ready to face that.
According to psychologists, parents should set boundaries with family members regarding their kids. If a loved one constantly fails to show up or is disrespectful, it is alright for them to experience the consequences of their actions. Since the OP’s husband was on her side, she could also go ahead with her decision guilt-free.
Do you think the woman should uninvite her in-laws from the birthday party? What would you do if you were in her place? Let us know in the comments below.
Folks were divided on the issue, some felt that not inviting the in-laws would cause too many problems, while others thought that it was okay to be petty with them
