A woman living in Northern Ireland says her life has been turned upside down by mysterious aches and pains which have left her struggling to walk.
Four years ago, Elaine Smith, 70, enjoyed, for the most part, an active lifestyle and was involved in activism and campaigning. Now the mum of two and grandmother of six struggles to get out of bed in the morning due to agonising chronic pain which developed after she suffered "a bad fall" in 2018, breaking her ankle and shinbone.
Speaking to MyDerry, Ms Smith, who is originally from Yorkshire but now lives in Derry, said she suffers from osteoarthritis in her hips and knees due to the fall, leaving her in "a constant nightmare".
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"I've always been somebody who has tried to fight pain," Elaine said. "I always think that I shouldn't give in, or take any heavy painkillers because it only masks the problem and you might do yourself more injury, but chronic pain is just very different than normal pain.
"I've had to change my whole life because of it. It has left me in agony and it's always there. You're constantly thinking about it because you can continually feel it and it doesn't go away.
"There's also the mental side of chronic pain, and it's left me no longer able to be spontaneous. I no longer feel attractive because it's overwhelming on the mind. It consumes your sanity as well as your body. I am constantly aware of this strange gait in the way that I walk.
"It's just there all of the time, it never leaves you and it can be quite demoralising and you can struggle to be motivated at times because of the pain."
Elaine explained that she first began to experience pain over five decades ago when she first had her twin daughters, with the aches and pain getting progressively worse over the years.
The Derry resident said she feels that her life has been "ripped away from her", explaining that she had to take matters into her own hands to "get back on track" and "get on" with her life.
She continued: "I genuinely feel like I had a loss of purpose in my life. I would have been a big activist and campaigner and I can no longer do those things like I used to.
"You sort of lose yourself completely because of this pain, it's so consuming of everything. You have to constantly plan your day ahead before you can carry out even the simple tasks.
"When I go to events now I have to make sure that there's a car park nearby the venue otherwise I won't really be able to attend because I can't walk that far.
"And this is why I have gone to all costs to find out what is available for me, I haven't just sat back. I am determined that I can get back on track, but it wasn't always like this.
"We all understand the crisis that the health service right across the UK is going through at the moment, and it's no different in Northern Ireland.
"I sort of held myself back because I knew there were people out there that needed treatment more than I did, especially during Covid. It was only after the pandemic that I realised because I hadn't looked after my own health by asking for help from the health service that I hadn't been put on the waiting list."
"I've been waiting for a knee replacement operation and so I had to go and have a private consultation because I just couldn't take it anymore," she added. "That left me riddled with guilt in a way because you almost feel as if you're queue jumping, but it was just affecting my whole life and I couldn't do it anymore."
Scheduled to have her operation later this month, Elaine paid tribute to the chronic pain support programme organised by the Brandywell and Bogside Health Forum.
She said the programme helped her get through some "very dark moments", allowing her to manage and alleviate her chronic pain symptoms.
"The programme at the Gasyard Centre was very comforting, I must say," Elaine said. "They reaffirmed a lot of what I already knew, but to have peers telling their stories about how they once suffered from chronic pain and how they got out of it was really reassuring.
"It gave me hope for the future and that's what people should know. The support is there if people want it, all they have to do is ask. It helped me take a better outlook on my life."
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