Different demographics mark Valentine’s Day differently. Young people probably gush about it and make plans for the day more often. In fact, according to one survey, 63% of adults age 50 and older say they won’t be celebrating Valentine’s.
This grandma, however, was asked out for Valentine’s and planned to go, despite her daughter who’s a teen mom thinking she would babysit instead. After a dramatic exchange of insults, the young grandmother decided to ask for unbiased opinions: was she wrong to not let her daughter go out for Valentine’s and look after her baby herself?
A young grandmother went out for Valentine’s instead of babysitting her teen daughter’s baby
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since her daughter wouldn’t forgive her, the mother asked if her choice really was so selfish
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: danyrays4days
Single mothers still face stigma in the dating world, but dates can be a form of self-care for them
Dating for single mothers can be tough. One poll revealed that one-third of single parents deemed their recent dates “not worth it.” They face many assumptions from their dates, the top three being that they don’t have time and energy for dating (34%), that their lives are too complicated (32%), and that they’re looking for a co-parent rather than a romantic partner (32%).
Unlike other single mothers, the mom in this story has a grandchild to take care of as well, so her troubles might even double. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t or shouldn’t do it. In fact, as Kirstin Karl, LMFT, writes, healthy adult relationships can be a form of self-care.
“Busy single moms often find themselves immersed in the nonstop demands of parenthood and working to provide for their families,” she claims. “Healthy adult relationships can provide a broader perspective on life, reminding you of your other identities and interests outside of caregiving.”
Ultimately, it’s okay for the mother who’s a caregiver to her daughter and granddaughter to think about her needs and wants. Mothers often prioritize the well-being of their children and those they care for, so it can be hard to tell yourself that you deserve to go on a date, too.
“Figuring out how to date as a busy single mom and finding that balance between your role as a caregiver and your personal goals and desires can be difficult, but it’s essential to the health and happiness of your whole family,” Kirstin Karl writes.
Grandparents helping teen mothers co-parent benefits the children and the grandchildren
Being a parent is not easy when you’re an adult. When you’re an adolescent who hasn’t fully developed yet, it can be even harder. Interestingly, the U.S. reported record lows of teenage pregnancy in 2023.
According to the CDC, the rate was 13.2 births for 1,000 females between ages 15 and 19. While the reasons for this drop weren’t clear, researchers speculate that more teens are choosing to remain abstinent and more sexually active teens are using birth control.
While teen pregnancy rates may be going down, those who become teen moms still need a lot of help and guidance as they navigate being parents. Adolescent parents often are forced to grow up faster than their peers. They might not relate to their friends as they did before and may even feel jealous of their freedom.
Because they’re so young, teen parents might not realize how much influence they have on the development of their children. That’s why they need outside support. A lot of that support comes from their own parents who are now grandparents.
The experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics report that when maternal grandmothers step in to help teen parents, it benefits both the children and the grandchildren. When there’s minimal conflict between the parent and the child, the co-parenting experience with a daughter who’s a teen mom is usually positive.
Parents of teen moms can also guide them to helpful resources like social workers, parenting and child development classes, healthcare, tutoring, and so on. Experts agree that the biggest priority is to finish school, as this will give teen parents confidence and help them support their children financially.
Most people didn’t think she was being selfish but cautioned her to be stricter with her daughter
Others were harsher and thought she brought this on herself: “You failed at parenting your child”
