One Scotland supporter stood on the steps outside Hampden on Sunday night and declared: “What a pile of shite.” He wasn’t referring to any dog excrement at his feet. The evidence had been all before him over the preceding 90 minutes of Scotland’s 0-3 turmoil against Greece.
What a nightmare this football match was. A glorious, even balmy evening turned into what is now an occasional Steve Clarke speciality: a horror show. Scotland were ripped to shreds by a Greek side which re-enacted its own Battle of Marathon in Glasgow. The old Persian Army itself could not have been more red-faced.
Football throws up good days and bad and this was one Clarke and the Tartan Army will want to forget. The Scotland coach was humiliated by his opposite number, Ivan Jovanovic, whose team might have put five past Craig Gordon. Sunday was a dreadful time to be a Scotland fan.
Clarke called it “a bump in the road” but it was more than that. This was a large pothole that caused Scotland to jar and fly off the road. The vehicle, with Clarke at the wheel, was a write-off.
Why did it happen? Was it tactical, was it physical, was it psychological? In football it is usually all of this and more, yet the evidence of our eyes was that Greece were quicker, more eager, more skilful, and offering far more menace. And, worryingly, the Scotland manager looked incapable of doing a thing about it.
Jovanovic spotted in Athens how futile it was to sling high balls into the Scottish box – meat and drink to Grant Hanley and John Souttar. So at Hampden Greece played the ball on the turf, and incisively, into the final third which was the way they created all three of their goals.
The poet, Stevie Smith, once wrote of a stricken man at sea “not waving but drowning”. I thought of this line while watching Clarke prowl his touchline, looking helpless before the Greek onslaught. The Scotland manager wasn’t waving, but drowning.
For those who say “sack him” – and there have been more than a few these past 24 hours - I can put their minds at ease. Clarke is going nowhere, save for a World Cup qualifying calamity, until August 2026, by which time he’ll have had enough of being the Scotland manager. And sacking Clarke isn’t the issue here - that proposal is absurd. But what cannot be ignored are these weird traumas into which Scotland have plunged during his time in charge.
On three or four occasions now Clarke’s team has gone through a scary dip, or a series of crashes, only to come good again. There was the dire loss at home to Ukraine which ended our 2022 World Cup hopes, followed by that embarrassing 3-0 defeat in Dublin. Then came this time last year, when Northern Ireland won 1-0 at Hampden, making it five defeats in seven for Clarke. And worst of all, of course, having reached the Euros finals, were Scotland’s abysmal – truly abysmal – displays in Germany over their three group games.
Nobody is doubting Clarke’s ability as a coach but his low moments are strikingly low. Along the way with Scotland he appears to guarantee us days of carnage, of which Sunday evening was another.
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This defeat was even more inexcusable when you consider the cadre of senior players Clarke had at his disposal. Once more the Scotland manager had a quartet of Serie A players from which to choose. Add to that the Premier League stalwarts such as John McGinn, Andy Robertson and a returning Kieran Tierney. Most international teams have a Grant Hanley in their ranks – weaker elements – but Scotland right now has a very decent squad.
Clarke misjudged this match and his starting XI was not properly primed – there can be no other conclusion. How else to explain the way Greece repeatedly ripped through Scotland and had Craig Gordon dancing on his toes, awaiting the next bullet. Later, the Scotland manager appeared to admit that some of his players might have been tired, in which case, put simply, his team on the night wasn’t ready. Who else is there to blame?
This is all the more worrying given that this same Greece side, with Konstantinos Karetsas growing in stature with every passing week, will be back on Scotland’s trail in the imminent World Cup qualifiers. Clarke spoke on Sunday evening of the knowledge he will now have of this opponent when the qualifiers come round, but this was small consolation. Greece, we now know, will be a highly dangerous obstacle.
The bitterness will pass. The Scotland team will be forgotten about for another three months, until a couple of fag-end friendlies arrive in June against Iceland and Liechtenstein, by which point a few key players – knackered - will drop out and some fresh Tommies will be called up. It is the way of it in international football. Just as happened after the Euros, the anger felt towards the Scotland manager will pass, winter will turn to spring, and off we’ll go again.
But Sunday was a reminder that, as the Scotland manager, when he stumbles Clarke goes spectacularly head first. Bruising, unexpected defeats have a nasty habit of coming his way. It’s just as well the Tartan Army has a strong constitution, on every front.
