GRAEME McDowell wishes he hadn't put his head above the parapet when he joined the rebel side in golf's civil war.
After 20 years on the DP World Tour and PGA Tour, the Ulsterman cashed in his chips to become one of the big name players to join pied piper Greg Norman in the controversial new Saudi-backed venture.
Speaking before the first LIV event in London, McDowell said he was "proud" to join the new tour and found himself facing a storm.
Later, relatives of 9/11 victims criticised Phil Mickelson for joining Saudi-backed LIV - and while Mickelson expressed "empathy" with the support group, McDowell wouldn't comment on the issue when contacted by Amnesty International.
As a consequence, the Portrush man was hammered at home in the media.
"How am I supposed to respond to Amnesty International? That's called fighting a losing battle," argued the 42-year-old.
"Of course I'm not going to respond. It's ridiculous.
"It's just golf. I'm not trying to solve the world's issues. For my family to read that s***, it's unfair.
"This has just been blown completely out of all proportion. I was on the firing line in London because I was stupid enough to talk about it.
"Listen, in hindsight I wish I'd said nothing. Genuinely, I wish I had went with the Brooks Koepka, Pat Perez style press conference.
"How many top players are going to have to play in the thing and create a product to where you guys will start talking about golf?
"I get it, the amount of s**t that's been written about me the last six weeks - it's something I have never had to deal with in my golfing career before.
"The negativity doesn't make you proud of yourself every day. You wake up hoping the narrative will change to golf soon and we can get on with it."
McDowell contacted a close friend who had lost his son in the 9/11 attacks to ask his opinion.
"I called him two days after the stuff came out because if he hated my guts, I needed to hear it from him," revealed McDowell.
"He gets it. He's a golf guy. He's a business guy. He's like, 'my boy was killed by the Arabs, not every person in Saudi Arabia is a bad person'.
"If he had been killed by an Irish guy, does that mean every person in Ireland is a bad person?
"I could stand here and defend it but there's no point. The attacks are one of the most horrendous things in our lifetime.
"Of course there's some tenuous links to Saudi Arabia but you don't see the biggest companies in the world, the biggest American companies, not doing business out there.
"Joe Biden, he's going to jump on a plane and sit down (with the Saudis) in two weeks' time because he needs his oil.
"But golfers, we're the worst people in the world. How are we the worst people in the world?
"I'm not sure guys are necessarily saying good things about the regime.
"We're focusing on the good things the golf is doing. I'm not in a position to comment on the regime - I don't know enough about it.
"Once we get past all the bulls***, there's room in the sport for this product."
An emotional McDowell confirmed he was the golfer who committed to the Horizon Irish Open but played in LIV's second event in Portland instead.
But he is upset with how his absence was portrayed by the DP World Tour, insisting that he couldn't miss the LIV event and that he expressed a desire to help out in the future.
"Listen, I'd love to be back at the Irish Open and I can only apologize to the Irish golf fans that I wasn't there last week," said McDowell.
Walking around Adare Manor earlier, the venue of the Ryder Cup in five years time, he reflected to himself that unless a resolution is found then his European captaincy hopes are toast.
"If I had an opportunity to captain a European Team here, I might hang my hat up when I'm done," McDowell said.
"Have I subconsciously made my peace with the fact that that may never happen?
"Part of me has made my peace with that but doesn't mean that I won't do everything in my power to make it happen if the opportunity comes along."
He has no desire to engage in a legal fight to participate in the Scottish Open this week, although as things stand he will not be at the 150th Open Championship at St Andrews.
"If I'm never allowed to play another golf tournament on The European Tour I'll be disappointed but I won't be surprised," he remarked.
"It may not be in my golfing lifetime that it's resolved.
"Selfishly, I'm 43 years old next month and I'm disappointed that I don't have the ability to play the majors and the other big world events.
"But I'm happy enough with what I've got to look forward to for the next 18 months.
"It's about being sick of finishing 150th in the FedEx and banging my head against the wall on the PGA Tour.
"I paid my dues, I've done the right things for 20 years of my life - now I want to go and make some money in a fantastic opportunity."
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