Eventually, the well of good TV formats runs dry so it’s almost admirable that Gordon Ramsay’s Future Food Stars on BBC1 is a total rip-off of The Apprentice.
In fact, I’m surprised no one has copied it sooner.
Gordon, a man hugely comfortable with yelling and pointing, is perfect in the Alan Sugar role. Next thing we know, he’ll be asking us to call him Lord.
The Michelin-starred chef and (shouts) “CEO of a global business empire”... is on the hunt for the next Food Star to invest in, an entrepreneur he can catapult to The Next Level.
He’s handpicked 12 of the best, who will compete in tough challenges to win £150,000 investment of his own cash.
All clear so far, except that when it starts, I’m a bit concerned that this entire series is purely Gordon dealing with a midlife crisis through the medium of reality TV.
As the 12 hopefuls wait, baffled, on a Newquay beach, Gordon goes full Bear Grylls, leaping from a helicopter into the sea. Reason unclear.
Now he wants them to scramble across craggy rocks and jump off a cliff.
“If I’m going to take a leap of faith with you, I’d like you all to do the same for me!” he shouts. Groan.
What does this have to do with the ability to sell vegan cakes or jars of chutney? Did Mary Berry have to bungee jump before getting the Bake Off gig? I don’t think so.
“Just do the f***ing jump,” shouts Gordon to one poor sod, who probably thought his biggest battle would be with a souffle or a spreadsheet.
Fortunately, the whole thing is rescued when it veers back on course for an actual food challenge. Contestants are split into teams for a profit-making task, selling street food from beach shacks.
Immediately there are heroes and villains. There are tears over a taco, dropped mango sauce sends someone spiralling, there’s a row over monkfish and one woman verges on abusive while getting over-protective about mushrooms.
The biggest crime is when one team charges £8 for a cheese toastie and a 40-minute wait.
Gordon morphs into a MasterChef role, popping into the kitchens with raised eyebrows, then reverts to form when he spits the food out and blasts it as disgusting.
Finally, the losing team is dragged into a dimly-lit room to be grilled by Gordon, before one of them is fired… sorry, I mean, asked to leave. Come on Gordon, where’s your catchphrase?
But it’s all actually rather good – and as long as Gordon stops jumping out of things, it’s a kitchen nightmare that might just whet the appetite.
