The Donald Trump era of US politics has always been, at least partially, the unaccountably successful final play from a lifelong grifter. Floundering in business (Trump lost US$100 million in the two years leading up the announcement of his candidacy for president in 2015) and frequently reliant on opaque relationships with slightly dicey partners, Trump knew his campaign would deliver him a possible media empire and a chance to funnel millions of dollars in campaign donations into his own businesses.
When he won, his business interests and political interests became permanently entwined. US$28 million in campaign finance has flowed into Trump’s business over the course of his three campaigns.
The variety of products Trump has been willing to shill is legendary — upon his first criminal indictment, he was not subject to the handcuffing and mugshot that would usually take place before a court appearance, partly to deny him the perfect merch iconography. His team just mocked one up anyway, and puts it on a T-shirt to raise campaign funds.
So where does this money come from? Apart from donations made out of the goodness of one’s heart, of course. Here are the best grifts gifts you can buy from the Trump campaign in 2024.
Watch the throne
Earlier this month, Trump started hocking a pair of watches — one going for up to US$800, the other an eye-watering US$100,000. We’ll let The Hollywood Reporter, which asked some watch experts what they thought, take it from here:
A marketing director of a well-known Swiss brand, who asked not to be named to keep his opinion separate from the company that employs him, agreed. ‘I belong to a collector group that maintains an ongoing group chat, and the initial reaction was that it had to be fake. After that, everyone was laughing,’ he said of the more expensive piece. ‘When you look at all of them, they scream Chinese-made watch. None of them is worth the asking price.’
Play your cards right
Trump has sold several sets of “digital trading cards”. The most recent batch featured mocked-up images of Trump dressed as a superhero, dancing, wearing US flag-themed boxing gloves and, in Trump’s words, “even holding some bitcoins”. If you bought 15 (at US$99 each), you received a free patch of the suit Trump wore while debating Joe Biden.
For sneaking
Early this year, Trump visited a sneaker conference in Philadelphia brandishing a gleaming gold “never surrender” high top with a capital “T” priced at $399. In the aftermath of the unsuccessful attempt on his life Trump had clearly reconsidered the importance of material things, charging just US$300 for shoes emblazoned with his defiant post-assassination pose.
Securing the coin
There is a Trump Coins website that sells a silver Trump commemorative coin for US$100; a coin it describes as “99.9% fine silver”. Forbes points out that, at current market value, this would mean the coin contained roughly US$31.50 worth of silver.
Bible thumping
Could this be the defining Trump grift? The font of the sincerest and most deeply treasured convictions of his base is also (as long as you use the King James version of the text, as Trump has) public domain. But to really earn the US$60 he’s charging, Trump’s version also features the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, an American flag, and the words to Lee Greenwood’s reactionary anthem (and Trump favourite) “God Bless the USA”. Promotional material for the Bible shows the former president alongside the country singer.
Then there’s the unofficial stuff which, in some cases, gets a bit weird.
Is there any product the Trump campaign hasn’t exploited yet? Send your pitches to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.
