Marina Hyde’s article does not go far enough (Look at the Thames and know the time for metaphors is over: our politics is drowning in effluent, 2 April). I have a modest proposal for improving water quality. Today, every board member of every water company should be put on notice that, three years from now, the king will institute a new ceremony. With pomp and lots of guardsmen, the board members will be escorted on to a boat on the major river in their constituency. His majesty (on the Thames) and minor royals on other waterways will then use a very long spoon to draw them each a refreshing glass of their own product, which they will have to drink, in public. Forget swan upping; bring on water downing.
Wendy Bradley
Sheffield
• “Thames Water ... has pumped human waste into the Greater London area of the river for almost 2,000 hours already this year,” writes Marina Hyde. That is the equivalent of 83 days out of the 94 we’d had so far in 2024 when her article was published in print. Having the figure in days gives us a clearer, albeit more disgusting, picture.
Pete Lavender
Woodthorpe, Nottinghamshire
