I’m not gonna lie, this mega-hyped Christmas special contains lulls. Put another way, the middle section offers several fantastic opportunities for a nap. “The Finale” is 30 minutes longer (as well as more predictable) than the 2019 Christmas special, which ended with Nessa (Ruth Jones) going down on one knee to Smithy (James Corden). On the plus side, the cast are awesome and the third act everything it should be.
The show’s creators and co-writers, Jones and Corden, have always kept things simple: ever since Gavin & Stacey first aired, 17 years ago, the Wests (Welsh) and the Shipmans (based in Billericay) have shared a fondness for piss-ups and impromptu sex. The problem with the script is that it recycles the least interesting elements of what’s gone before. Everyman couple, Gavin and Stacey (Mathew Horne and Joanna Page), are trying to spice up their love life, again. Smithy’s knocking boots with shallow Sonia (Laura Aikman), again. Though this time he’s determined to marry her, so he can enjoy “the most important day of my life” (his stag do, ho ho).
The stag do, as Smithy and Gavin agree, is awful. Unfortunately, it’s not enjoyably awful. There’s simply no tension. Even Rob Brydon, as over-eager Uncle Bryn, can’t make the clichéd lines sing, while the retro references (to TV shows such as Byker Grove) have zero oomph. As for Sonia’s hen night, to which Nessa is invited (one of many implausible details), it, too, feels numbingly familiar, with the Barry-Billericay gang always the ying to Sonia’s humourless, shrewish yang.
You know what this section of the show lacks? Spice. As fans of the series will know, Gavin’s parents reinvigorated their love life by dressing up as Charles and Camilla (Mick enjoyed wearing strap-on-ears). Perhaps for obvious reasons, the special is more risk averse.
It’s only when a heartbroken Nessa heads back to Barry that “The Finale” gets genuine. Determined to embark on a career at sea, Nessa prepares to say goodbye to her and Smithy’s son, 16-year-old Neil the Baby (Oscar Hartland). With wrenching stoicism, this single mum declares how much she loves her child, before telling Smithy (who’ll take over parenting duties while she’s away), “You mess this up, I’ll kill you”. Smithy laughs, then gulps (he’s just caught sight of Nessa’s face). As ever, Nessa’s resemblance to Death Wish-era Charles Bronson is uncanny.
Nessa and Smithy didn’t start out as the show’s romantic leads, yet that’s what they are. Gavin and Stacey have functioned as a trojan horse, allowing their “sidekicks” to invade the mainstream and slay us all. And they really do slay. Nessa (at least 12 years older than Smithy) is technically a cougar and unapologetically middle aged. No attempt has been made to hide the lines on her face and she brags about being post-menopausal. She also spurns diets (no Ozempic for her). Yet the fact of Nessa’s attractiveness is never questioned and rightly so. Jones (both smouldering and exquisitely restrained) revels in the spotlight. The 58-year-old actor has never seemed less vain, or more desirable.
Since winning over the Yanks and forging a career as a Hollywood star, Corden has suffered a series of setbacks. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but there’s something newly poignant about Smithy. In scenes where our ebullient hero is faced with women who don’t adore him, ie Sonia and his outrageously self-absorbed mum, Cath (a hilarious Pam Ferris), he vibrates with panic in an utterly believable way.
Every second of Smithy and Sonia’s big day is either moving and/or guffaw-out-loud funny. You expect (and get) perfect comic timing from Alison Steadman, as Gavin’s mum. Or Sheridan Smith, as Smithy’s sister. Hartland, however, is a revelation, as he sings The Beatles’ “Blackbird”. Good luck with staying dry eyed through that.
Other highlights include the fallout from the divorce of Dawn (Julia Davis) and Pete (Adrian Scarborough). When Dawn takes it upon herself to re-woo Pete, the latter wears the dazed expression of a recently released hostage victim who suddenly finds himself back in the basement. Pete knows he should be frightened. He is frightened (he says, “I feel like I’m in Baby Reindeer”). What’s clever about the writing here (and Scarborough’s performance; for once, he outshines Davis) is that we can tell Pete enjoys being scared. A spin-off, in which Dawn and Pete meet Baby Reindeer’s Martha... please, please, please, can someone make this happen?
Mention must also be made of Stacey’s mum, (who, at long last, has got it going on). When her double life is exposed, we discover her new fancy man is actually Nessa’s ex, Dave (Steffan Rhodri; deliciously down to earth). Bryn does not take the news well. In fact, affronted almost to the point of madness, he proceeds to accuse Gwen of “skittling”, a made-up word (beautifully delivered by Brydon, finally having fun) that somehow nails the essence of Melanie Walters’s shyly determined matriarch. By the way, just as with Nessa and Smithy, the age gap between Gwen and Dave is treated as no biggie. Go, Gwen!
Is “The Finale” as glorious as The Royle Family special, “The Queen of Sheba”? No. Is it infinitely superior to “The New Sofa” or “Barbara’s Old Ring”? You bet. Time is even found for one of those cheeky references to Mike Leigh’s oeuvre that the writers so enjoyed sneaking into the series. However, if you want to know what happened on a certain fishing trip, dream on.
And lo! People across Britain murmured a prayer of thanks to Jones and Corden, for not ruining Christmas evening with sub-standard TV. God, we’ll miss these characters. Oh my Christ, they were lush.
