We all remember what Benjamin Franklin said — nothing in this life is certain except death, taxes and a fresh crop of hot, young internet boyfriends to get the world wide web’s salivary glands pumping every three to four months. Fine, maybe I paraphrased a little, but that was his gist. If you thought internet boyfriends were for life, not just for Christmas, you were wrong.
Look at the cooling of our Barry Keoghan obsession, which climaxed when everyone and their nan (sadly, often at the same time) watched Saltburn over the festive period. Or how we reached peak Timothée Chalamet after the Wonka and Dune: Part 2 double bill. They have been rested for their own health. Don’t wake them, they’re sleeping.
Now, it’s prime time for a brand new wave. So, if you’re feeling low on Paul Mescal content, or can sense how out of the loop you are when referencing Pedro Pascal as man of the moment (babe, no!), here are your newly minted candidates.
MIKE FAIST
The real winner of Luca Guadagnino’s steamy tennis romp, Challengers? Literally everyone. People cannot stop talking about Zendaya and Josh O’Connor’s performances — but the real standout star is the freshest face of the trio, West Side Story star Mike Faist, who has been unwittingly wooing netizens for weeks with his dry humour and surprising dance moves (he’s a Broadway star, guys, it checks out). We’re completely smitten.
RAMY YOUSSEF
The unsung, adorable hero of Poor Things is finally getting his dues, having recently hosted SNL (in which he called for a ceasefire and floated the idea of a trans president of the United States) and directed an episode of The Bear season two. Now, he’s back on set for season three of the most lauded show on television right now and we can’t wait to see what he’s got cooking.
COSMO JARVIS
Sometimes a baby is given a name that simply makes them destined to become an internet boyfriend. It’s written in the stars. Cosmo Jarvis was designated such a name (and face). The stand-out star of Shōgun, which managed to clamber over the behemoth that is The Bear to become FX’s most streamed TV pilot, Jarvis is 2024’s slightly-lessmainstream, equally-as-hunky Aaron Taylor-Johnson. And now he’s set to star alongside Robert De Niro in gangster drama Alto Knights, which will only amplify his burgeoning star power. Oh, and he can sing. It’s almost too much to handle.
TRAVIS KELCE
Think what you want about Taylor, but if The Tortured Poets Department proved anything, it’s that Travis Kelce is far and above her best boyfriend yet. The man is a human labrador, and sometimes you need a little bit of himbo in your life. No thoughts in that brain, just kiss and kick football. Bliss.
DEV PATEL
Dev Patel has long held a place in the internet’s heart, especially for those who watched his heart-wrenching performance in Amazon Prime’s Modern Love — often cited as proof he should be batting off requests to play romantic leads. Now, with Patel’s much-hyped directorial debut Monkey Man, he finally is! I’m kidding — Monkey Man is a bloody revenge story about a brutal underground fight club, laced with childhood trauma and suppressed rage. So, yeah, not so romantic, but on the plus side, he’s topless a lot.
AYO EDEBIRI
You might not think a woman can be an internet boyfriend, but if you check the way we’re kicking our heels and giggling at every single piece of online activity from Edebiri, you’d realise it’s very possible. We’re literally hanging on her Letterboxd reviews’ every word. We’re down bad, and Edebiri is fully responsible.
JESSE PLEMONS
Plemons isn’t an archetypal internet boyfriend, but there’s just that je ne sais quoi. His recent performance in Civil War (in which he is nothing short of terrifying) has proven this, because if one thing gets the people going, it’s a man playing a truly despicable character and then being perfectly lovely in real life. See: Austin Butler as Feyd-Rautha, or Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer.
KIT CONNOR
Thanks to the recent reveal that he’ll be playing Romeo opposite Rachel Zegler’s Juliet on Broadway later this year, Kit Connor is having an internet boyfriend reboot. It’s a common phenomenon; some of the best internet boyfriends can have second or even third rounds. For instance, Jacob Elordi is set for a second coming anytime soon. But with Connor’s more mature upcoming projects and commitment to serving in JW Anderson wherever possible, his Internet Boyfriend 2.0 era is right now.
NICHOLAS GALITZINE
When Kim Kardashian said ‘Get your f***ing ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days’, she certainly wasn’t talking about Nicholas Galitzine, who is surely one of the most booked and busy actors of 2024. From playing a horny future duke in Sky series Mary & George opposite Julianne Moore to the lead singer in Harry Styles fanfiction-inspired The Idea of You alongside Anne Hathaway, the man is everywhere. And, yes, he’s royally good looking, too.
