The festive season means chugging mulled wine, gobbling mince pies, and lining up the Christmas classics for shambolic bouts of office party karaoke.
And for musicians it’s a chance to have a go at securing an elusive but incredibly lucrative cash-cow – a regular spot on the festive playlist, a rare place in the Christmas single history books, and a cheeky end of year bonus, for life.
Nail the brief and you could end up like Mariah Carey, who scoops an estimated £2.4 million every single year off the back of her smash hit All I Want For Christmas Is You. Swing and miss, and… well, let’s face it, nobody is going to remember by the time next year rolls around.
Alongside all of the usual suspects re-entering the charts for yet another lap around the Christmas tree, loads of artists are back with brand new festive tunes in a bid to join their colleagues. Here’s our take on all the top contenders...
By now, Kelly Clarkson is a Christmas single veteran: her jangling 2013 song Underneath the Tree and 2022’s Ariana Grande duet Santa Can’t You Hear Me are firmly part of the winter canon, and now she’s back with this year’s You For Christmas (★★★★). Drawing plenty of inspiration from Motown and vintage Sixties pop, it’s a solid addition to her Yuletide oeuvre.
Ed Sheeran has form in this arena, too, previously linking up with Elton John for the chart topping Merry Christmas. Now, he’s back with his solo track Under the Tree (★★★) recorded for the soundtrack of Netflix’ new animated family film This Christmas. Going straight for the emotional jugular, the ‘moping around after getting dumped right before the holidays’ vibes are strong with this one lyrically, and Bridgerton’s Claudia Jessie co-stars in the music video.
Also leaning into a similar theme of wishing a certain someone would magically appear beneath the mistletoe, Perrie – formerly of Little Mix – has also put in a respectable shift with Christmas Magic (★★★★). Though this jingle-bell laden track sticks to a largely tried and tested formula – festive yearning for a departed love, wishing for their prompt arrival underneath the mistletoe, etc etc – Perrie wins extra points for roping her footballer fiancé into the homespun music video. Credit to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, he plays ball and even complies with the matching tartan pyjamas.
Among the most well-organised of the bunch, American alt-pop star Ava Max released her own Christmas single the second those Halloween decorations came down on November 1, but even all of that extra airtime hasn’t helped 1 Wish (★★★) to become a grower: while most of her music has heaps of personality, this could be plucked from practically any generic ‘Christmas Pop’ playlist going.
Texas-raised pop star Conan Gray’s own take on a seasonal sing-song, his minimal ballad Holidays (★★★★), is a vast improvement; keeping heavy-handed, fail-safe Christmas couplets to a minimum, and exploring the sensation of catching up with an old, hometown friend instead. “At Kerbey Lane the coffee tastes like gasoline,” he sings, “could you order some for me? I’m too cold and I’m too tired to speak.”
K-pop’s finest are also getting in on the act, and V – best known as a member of BTS – has linked up with South Korean ballad singer Park Hyo Shin for Winter Ahead (★★★★). A sultry, English-language track sprinkled with jazz hands, the music video to match the six-minute epic is inspired by the Greek mythological figure of Pygmalion. Naturally, it’s stuffed full of hidden symbols to decode.
Masked cowboy Orville Peck puts in an excellent shift on Happy Trails (★★★★): his velvety vocals and that slightly homoerotic innuendo in the title working brilliantly. “Happy trails, my guy,” Peck sings, somehow selling the ridiculousness of the line perfectly.
Icelandic singer Laufey has also plumped for a similar timeless sound, though her own festive single is a cover of a classic: her rich vocal is a good, if slightly obvious, fit for Santa Baby (★★★) and she’s roped Bill Murray into the music video.
A slightly more left-field entrant, Kesha’s cover of Holiday Road (★★★★★) – originally by Lindsey Buckingham for 1983’s dark comedy National Lampoon's Vacation – puts a welcome twist on a much-loved song. While the Fleetwood Mac founder’s original is powered by a boogie-woogie beat, Kesha’s version drips with ice-cold synths.
Tom Grennan’s It Can’t Be Christmas (★★★★) passed most people by upon its first release back in mid-November, but a new duet version – which sees Grennan surprising Cork busker Allie Sherlock midway through a set, before they perform the song together – has taken the song semi-viral. Was the moment pre-planned? Probably – but it’s still a proper heartwarmer.
Reverend And The Makers’ Late Night Phonecall (★★★★) isn’t bad either, telling the semi-autobiographical story of declaring your love for somebody during a drunken phone call, and eventually winning them around with apple crumble. Though it’s great fun to listen to, this trumpety track also has a more serious aim; to raise awareness of Samaritans. The charity works with those who are at risk of suicide, all year around.
On the novelty front, Sooty and Sweep – the staple of children’s TV for decades – have reunited for Izzy Wizzy Christmas (★★). The trouble is, neither of them have the pipes required (Sooty is mute, while Sweep only emits weird, annoying squeals) to take part, so the music video ends up feeling like a brainwashing attempt to sell yet more puppets instead. Jedward’s LOVEmas (★) is also terrible – the beloved X Factor graduates slip in a nice reference to Sabrina Carpenter’s Espresso, but many of the harmonies land like a lump of coal.
Since LadBay hung up his pastry-flecked Santa hat, there has been a distinct lack of beige carbohydrates on the Christmas single scene; thank god, then, for the arrival of Yorkshire Pudding Boy. Aaron Paley, from Southend-on-Sea went viral earlier this year after wearing an outfit made out of yorkshires for Halloween, and his Christmas effort, All I Am (★★★★) aims to raise awareness of autism. The only crying shame is that the yorkshire pudding outfit doesn’t make it into the video.
Also vying for success on the charity single front are the Bath Philharmonia Young Carers' Choir, who have recruited Liberal Democrat leader Ed Davey as their guest star for Love is Enough (★★★). Paddle boarding, inflatable slides, and now a music career, is there anything this man won’t do? Though Davey doesn’t really get anywhere near the microphone, he’s actually a fitting choice this time: a dedicated campaigner on the issue of social care, he also has personal experience of what it means to be a carer.
While Davey’s choral turn proved a surprising hit, the same cannot be said of Do They Know It's Christmas? (★★) – back again for a 40th anniversary rehashing of Band Aid’s well intentioned but incredibly patronising charity single which treats Africa as a monolith in need of saving.
And finally, would it be Christmas without Michael Bublé? The Canadian warbler has defrosted right in time for December, and has linked up with the US country singer Carly Pearce for their collaboration Maybe This Christmas (★★★). Like every single other Bublé song, it is pleasant enough to stick on in the background, and yet completely mediocre; this is one that’ll keep your f-bomb hating granny happy.
