Paris (AFP) - France international centre Virimi Vakatawa said in an emotional press conference on Tuesday it was hard to wake up and accept he would never train with his team-mates again having had to retire due to a heart defect.
The 30-year-old Fiji-born player's problem had surfaced prior to the 2019 Rugby World Cup revealed the doctor from his Top 14 club Racing 92 Sylvain Blanchard at the press conference.
Vakatawa -- who sat alongside France head coach Fabien Galthie, Racing handler Laurent Travers and club owner Jacky Lorenzetti -- said it was hard to come to terms with.
Whilst Lorenzetti said it was "almost like losing a son" Vakatawa was more restrained in his comparisons even if he was as emotional.
"It is tough for me to talk," he said.
"This morning, I got up at eight o'clock and I knew I would not be running out onto the training ground with the others.
"But the hardest thing was yesterday: when I told my team-mates I had to stop.
"I spent a lot of time with them both on and off the pitch....it is not easy."
Vakatawa had not featured in Racing's season opener on Saturday, a 25-19 win over Castres, and on Monday the club had announced his career was over for unspecified medical reasons.
Blanchard added the necessary detail on Tuesday.
"He has to finish his career in France due to a cardiological problem," said Blanchard.
"A heart defect was detected before the 2019 World Cup in Japan.
"This defect which was not connected to rugby, has been constantly kept under observation but it is progressively deteriorating.
"However, this is not the end for him, it is the beginning of something new."
Galthie said the 32-times-capped Vakatawa would be sorely missed -- he last played in France's 20-15 victory in Japan in July but due to injury was not a member of the Six Nations Grand Slam winning squad.
"Virimi allowed a lot of children to dream of what could be achieved," said Galthie, who took over the France job after the 2019 World Cup.
"He was a key player in our adventure, in our history and a wonderful man.
"What he is experiencing now, by sharing with us he can continue to be a role model to all."
He scored 49 tries for the club he joined aged 17 with his 145th and last club game Racing's 20-13 loss to La Rochelle in the European Champions Cup semi-final in May.
"He is still here, he will be present on the touchline: instead of being an actor, he will do something else but he will be part of the project," said Travers.
"His life is rugby, it is Racing 92.
"We will do our bit to aid him, that he will always be part of the club that he gave so much to."
Racing 92 have filled the massive void left by Vakatawa's retirement by signing experienced centre Francis Saili from Biarritz.
The 31-year-old -- capped twice by the All Blacks -- has played in Europe since 2015 first with Irish province Munster (2015/17) and then English Premiership outfit Harlequins (2017/2)).
