While some will succeed in sticking to their New Year's resolutions, many others will give up within the first few weeks or months.
New research recently revealed that the second Friday in January, known as Quitters Day, is the most likely day for people to give up their New Year's resolutions. You are only four steps away from distancing yourself from the ‘quitters’ and continuing on your journey to success.
We chatted to a behavioural psychologist and life coach Keelin O’Dwyer about how we can retrain our resolve throughout the year ahead. Here is how you can make 2023 different by making sure you keep those resolutions going all year rouund.
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Focus on what drives you to achieve your goals
Really focusing on the value beneath our goals brings action and results, Keelin says. She gives an example of smokers vowing to quit from the New Year. They usually dread the clocks striking twelve on the 31st, already feeling “the loss of their beloved cigarette”, hyper-focused on how hard their journey will be.
“This type of fixation is entirely natural and normal when quitting anything,” Keelin explains. “An effective way to balance the scales is to refocus your attention from what you will lose to what you will gain. So what's the value driving your desire to quit smoking? [Is it] self-respect, wellness, family, prosperity, self-care? Is it to be able to breathe more deeply? Is it to set a better example for your children or to have more energy?”
The life coach recommends visualising your goal for ten minutes a day, imagining yourself achieving it, and visualising the benefits and positives you will gain from sticking to your resolution.
Take small steps daily
Break down your goals into tasks creates tiny, actionable, and achievable steps. “When you break down a goal into tasks, you break down what might seem impossible into a sequence of doable steps,” the life coach reveals. Completing these small tasks will boost your confidence and empower you to move swiftly toward your goal.
She gives an example of finding motivation to do weight training by taking even the tiniest step towards the end goal, every day. Even if it’s just taking the kettlebell out of the box one day, and finding an instruction video the next day, before gradually starting to do five minutes of training and building up on that.
“We form habits quicker by taking daily action,” she said. “So if there are daily steps you can take around your desired habit, then do it! It will improve your outcomes and keep you on track!”
Be aware of your environment
Getting this right is essential, Keelin warns, as your brain responds to cues. “So often, we set ourselves up for failure by having temptation all around us,” she says. “If you want to eat healthily, then having cakes and chocolate in your fridge and cupboards isn't going to serve you.”
Small daily reminders are what helps in this situation – this is where having a vision board and/or journaling would help the most. They would keep you organised and focused on the goal. “Tell trusted friends, colleagues, and family about your New Year's resolution where possible,” the behavioural psychologist also advises. “You will be more likely to get support and may be amazed by who may want to buddy up with you!”
Reward yourself often
Treats can be simple, like booking a massage, enjoying a lie-in the day after a workout, or watching your favourite movie as a rewarding incentive after taking the next smallest step towards your goal. Rewards are important because they release dopamine in the brain, which helps to keep us motivated.
“Often clients ask me what amount of action deserves a reward,” Keelin says. “My response is, ‘any step forward.’ You may have hoped to go for a run four times this week but only did it twice. As all-or-nothing creatures, we fail to remember that two times a week is still excellent, it's certainly better than nothing, and you are on the right track.”
Embrace the mindset that rewarding yourself actually improves your mental health, she says, as by being compassionate and kind towards ourselves we become more content and productive. Also, don’t worry about becoming dependent on rewards – “you are training your mind to regard taking committed action as a reward in itself”.
Keelin O’Dwyer is a behavioural and coaching psychologist at Fettle Online Therapy.
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