Former New York City mayor Bill de Blasio and his wife Chirlane McCray have announced their separation after a candid conversation about their relationship.
The couple, who are not planning to divorce, will date other people but continue to live together in their Park Slope townhouse. Their marriage, marked by its mixed-race symbolism and public scrutiny, has faced its share of challenges.
The couple's announcement goes beyond a typical political marriage separation, as they aim to share their experiences and lessons with others.
Rather than issuing a brief joint statement, Bill de Blasio and Chirlane McCray chose to have a more extensive and open discussion about their separation. They gave a nearly three-hour interview, during which they expressed their feelings, regrets, and perspectives on their marriage.
The mayor told the New York Times of his marriage: "I can look back now and say, ‘Here were these inflection points where we should have been saying something to each other.' And I think one of the things I should have said more is: 'Are you happy? What will make you happy? What's missing in your life?'"
The couple has made arrangements to separate while still maintaining a shared living space. They stated that they are not planning to divorce but will instead date other people.
They will continue to reside in their Park Slope townhouse, which served as the family home where they raised their two children. Despite their decision to separate, they intend to coexist and maintain a living arrangement together.
The couple said they wanted to share more about their decision and the challenges they faced, going beyond the usual approach taken by political couples in similar situations.
Their intention was to provide a more comprehensive account of their relationship and the lessons they learned, both for the benefit of every day couples and those who experience the unique pressures of public scrutiny.
Reflecting on their decision, Mr de Blasio expressed regret over not asking important questions about their happiness and needs. The strain on their marriage, influenced by their public roles, is seen as a lesson for other couples navigating similar challenges.
The couple also attributed their separation to the pressures of Mr de Blasio's mayoralty and the Covid-19 crisis, which limited their ability to address their relationship.
Their relationship had already undergone strain during Mr de Blasio's 2020 presidential campaign, which Ms McCray considered a distraction. Despite her reservations, she felt obligated to support him.
Ms McCray and Mr de Blasio first met in 1991 while working at New York City Hall during Mayor David Dinkins' administration. They got married in 1994 in Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
The couple have two children together, a daughter named Chiara and a son named Dante, both now in their 20s.
Chirlane McCray wrote an essay titled "I Am a Lesbian" that was published in Essence magazine in 1979. In the essay, she openly discussed her sexuality and expressed gratitude for accepting her preference for women before marrying a man.
When asked about her sexuality years later, Ms McCray mentioned her dislike for labels. She stated that she identified as a lesbian in the 1970s and wrote about it, but in 1991, she met the love of her life and married him.
