Former rugby league star Brett Finch feels "disgusted" for sending "twisted" messages about child sex abuse in a desperate attempt to get cocaine, a court has heard.
Appearing before the NSW District Court, Finch, 41, is trying to avoid a jail sentence after using a chat service called Fast Meet to share fantasies about young boys.
"It was a terrible method and one that I am deeply ashamed of," he said.
The ex-NRL player said he sent the messages because he thought he could connect with "hypersexualised" users that could help him get drugs.
"If the message was twisted and I got a reply, then they would more likely be under the influence of drugs and more hope of me obtaining cocaine," he said.
"I am disgusted in myself for saying it … my main goal was trying to get drugs."
Finch denied having a sexual interest in children, or ever accessing child abuse material online when asked by his barrister Mike Smith.
He was also asked about why he left multiple child abuse messages over several months.
"In the hope I could obtain cocaine," he told the court.
The court heard he stopped using Fast Meet when he received a reply from a man who offered to meet up with him to engage in the abuse of children.
"It made me sick, I was disgusted," he said.
Finch pleaded guilty to one charge of using a carriage service to transmit, public or promote child abuse in August this year.
He was one of eight men arrested during police raids across parts of Sydney in December 2021.
Finch admitted that he had now "lost everything", including friends, and was unable to find work despite applying for hundreds of jobs.
"I understand why no one wants to come near me," he said.
Finch won a premiership with Melbourne Storm in 2009 and played three State of Origin games for NSW.
During his career, he also played for the Canberra Raiders, Parramatta Eels and the Sydney Roosters.
The sentencing hearing continues.
