Ash Hudson's Nottingham cafe was themed around Alice in Wonderland yet life was anything but wonderful. As crippling debts piled up, his mental health spiralled out of control until he was on the brink of suicide.
After coming scarily close to ending his life, Mr Hudson poured his heart out to his fiancée, now his wife, Louise and sought professional help, which has changed his outlook.
More than two years on he has turned his life around and is now in a good place, with two children and a new successful business selling vintage silver jewellery. Opening up about his past struggles he said: "This is my story from suicide to success."
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Mr Hudson ran the Wonderland Cafe in the basement of Hopkinson Vintage, Antique and Arts Centre in Station Street but couldn't compete with increasing competition in the area.
The 32-year-old said: "If you live in the past you can't move forward so I felt for me to be able to move on and put Wonderland behind me and all the things that happened was to own them.
"I'd been hiding behind this façade of the Mad Hatter and it just got me. I remember being stood in the basement thinking what am I going to do? How am I going to move forward? I'm in so much debt I've got no prospects, I've lost everything, how do I go forward? I decided I'm going to fight.
"I told Lou what had happened and from then on I did some work with Transform Training who are coaches in this sort of thing. They helped me understand my feelings more, my triggers and I've become so much stronger. I've mixed together all of my business knowledge and acumen with the skills they've given me and I've been able to develop myself to the point where I can deal with everything now."
Mr Hudson, of Beeston, had struggled with a lifetime of mental health problems after being bullied from a young age. "I've had problems all my life. I was bullied all through school so I've always had self confidence issues and mental health problems from a very young age. When I was at one of my previous jobs I experienced some bullying at work that sent me on a downward spiral and it was one of the things that triggered me."
He tried moving the cafe to a different location in Upper Parliament Street, renaming it Storybooks but it closed within 10 weeks. "I was always chasing my tail end. I didn't have any money at all," he said. "My dad lent me the money to kit out the place - it was a long shot but I wasn't ready to give up."
In the meantime, Mr Hudson began helping vulnerable young people going through similar emotions using the power of breakdance but during the pandemic that came to an end. While lockdown crushed many people's mental health and businesses, it actually worked in his favour, with the launch of Silver Fox selling silver jewellery online.
The business has gone from strength to strength and as well as selling through the website he is operating from a kiosk on the ground floor of Hopkinson in the city.
Silver Fox runs in tandem with Watches in Wonderland, a venture he started before opening the cafe. "The pandemic has been the platform for my success. It was the best thing that could have happened to me," he said.
"Because of the pandemic everyone was buying online. Everyone's habits changed and I just happened to land on my feet, selling and selling. I committed to making the business work, I set myself a goal of £100k stock holding last year which we smashed.
"My primary goal, if sentimental, was to hire my brother Daniel, who was also struggling for direction. It is very satisfying for me that he is now the manager of the Watches in Wonderland business.
"Now I sit and look at what has been created this year since the pandemic and I can't believe it," said Mr Hudson, who has just celebrated his first wedding anniversary.
Silver Fox sells "affordable" rings, bracelets, pendants and chains, from £16. There's also collectables including a Burmese dagger for £600. "It's a sustainable business," he adds. "We clean and restore it so there's no environmental footprint.
"We are doing fantastic. We've started off with a real boom, everything is going in the right direction." It's not just the business that's succeeding - he's a different person.
"At the time (Wonderland was failing) I was angry, now I understand it was my business acumen, me not knowing enough about business was the reason that happened to me. Only when you can accept the mistakes that you've made can you move forward," said Mr Hudson, who is dad to Nora-Lily, near four, and Peter, six months.
He had these words of advice for anyone suffering like he did. "Don't be naïve and don't be afraid to tell people what's happened. I went into business not knowing anything. I should have done my research and I should have learnt more about business before I did it.
"I didn't tell people what was going off, my feelings and that's why I ended up spiralling so if you are going to go into business you need to communicate with your family constantly and let them know everything that's happening, be it good or bad.
"I think we try to create an internet façade, you have all these influencers at the moment, because of the way they act online, that's how you have to behave and portray that you're this positive successful person but under the surface you're drowning and haemorrhaging money. But really the strong thing to do is to tell people exactly what's happening.
"If you don't own your feelings and things that happen you're just going to bottle it up and it's going to get to a head. There is nothing I can't cope with now. Everything that's happened to me that was bad has helped me to grow as a person. I am proud of everything I have achieved by beating my demons and creating this beautiful business for me and my wife."
Louise, 31, has quit her job as a manager of a Birds Bakery shop, to work for Silver Fox. She said: "He knows what he wants and how to get it and he's got the support to get there now. I think that's the best way to put it.
"We've got two kids and that drives him. He's very business driven but now we've got our family he just wants to do everything he can for us and he cares. It was hard but he never stopped. He works very hard."
The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
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