Former Leeds United midfielder Chris Kamara has opened up on his struggles following his diagnosis of apraxia of speech (AOS). AOS is a speech sound disorder whereby someone has trouble saying what they want to say consistently and correctly.
Kamara first publicly confirmed his battle with the problem back in March which prompted him to call time on his time on Sky Sports. The 64-year-old has recently returned to television screens, hosting The Games and working alongside Rochelle Humes and Ben Shepherd as a presenter for Ninja Warrior UK.
In an emotional interview with Steven Bartlett on his podcast ‘ The Diary of a CEO’, Kamara claimed when he watches himself back on TV he feels like a ‘fraud’, and as if it’s ‘someone else’ talking.
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He said: “It feels like someone has taken over my voice box. The voice that used to come out would come out at 300 miles an hour, you’ve seen me on the results and Soccer Saturday, motormouth, talking and not even waiting for a breath, just keep going and going.
"Now when I hear myself or see myself on TV it’s someone else. It’s really strange.
"Some days the message from the brain to the mouth is really slow and makes it difficult, or some days the words come out different than what you’re trying to say and that’s even weirder. So that’s been hard to accept, and [is] still hard to accept.
"Strange in terms of, I feel a fraud now in terms of broadcasting; I don’t bring to the table what I used to. So that’s hard, my life away from the screen couldn’t be any better. Grandkids, family, it’s perfect.
"I feel I’m doing these programmes and they’re not getting the best of me, but they’re tolerating me, that’s how it feels."
Given the impact Kamara had on many a TV screen during his time on Soccer Saturday, the tributes have been endless from both fans and colleagues alike. Kamara revealed he was left honoured by some of the messages he received, but admits he often reflects on whether he is ‘tarnishing’ what he has done by carrying on.
He said: "That tribute that Sky gave me, that’s reserved for someone who passes away isn’t it? So I’ve had the tribute while I’m still alive that people don’t get when they go. You’ll always look back and think, when you read the obituaries and comments and think, 'why didn’t people say that?'
"So I think maybe I should have bowed out then, taken the accolades and said, 'thank you'. Am I tarnishing what I’ve got and what I had?"
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