CHILDREN can, as anyone who has ever experienced the dubious delights of fatherhood or motherhood will readily testify, be a terrible disappointment to their parents at times.
The dismay which they feel about their progeny’s less endearing traits and more unfortunate behaviour, though, is nothing compared to the disdain which their offspring often treat them with.
It is fair to say that your correspondent's Celtic-obsessed son has developed a definite antipathy towards his football reporter father as he has grown older – about his repeated failures to lay his hands on tickets to big matches at Parkhead specifically.
He certainly gets taken along to see Callum McGregor and Co in action whenever seats are available to buy and the old man is off. Just not to the sort of stellar occasions which he longs to attend.
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Part-time minnows Buckie Thistle, bottom-of-the-table Livingston, second tier Greenock Morton - there is no completely one-sided, total non-event, over-by-half-time fixture he has not had to sit through in a half-full stadium utterly devoid of any atmosphere.
His disgruntlement that his fitba hack dad is unable to get on the blower to Dermot Desmond, Peter Lawwell, Michael Nicholson, Brendan Rodgers or Rod Stewart and sort him out with briefs for his heroes’ big games always intensifies during the build-up to a meeting with Rangers.
I am unsure if I would permit such an innocent and impressionable youth to attend that particular fixture on his own even if I could get him a ticket due to the sectarian aspect of the ancient rivalry between the Glasgow giants.
The reasons he would not be allowed to go to an Old Firm game at his tender age have been explained to him during quiet man-to-man chats in the past. "There is no Old Firm,” he always replies. I blame the parents.
It has been heartening to witness junior take something of a shine to his pa's wee diddy team Inverness Caledonian Thistle in recent years. He has relished being taken along to see the Highlanders greatly despite their troubles of late.
Yet, my boy's inability to go and cheer on his beloved Celtic most Saturday afternoons has resulted in him tagging along with his mates to watch the teams they support, taking advantage of the discounted entry prices which local clubs have offered pupils at his school, going with his pals to see matches involving sides that none of them follow.
In the last couple of seasons he has filed through the turnstiles at Fir Park to see Motherwell, New Douglas Park to see Hamilton, Firhill to see Partick Thistle and the Falkirk Stadium to see Falkirk even though he has no allegiance to any of them.
Whatever the reason, they invited my son and his buddy to join them on the bus to Aberdeen for the Scottish Cup quarter-final at Pittodrie last weekend. So they did and had, despite the 4-1 defeat the visitors suffered, a thoroughly pleasant day. The highlight was a stop at the Fish and Chip Company in Auchterarder on the way home. It is a rite of passage for any Scottish fan.
My son really raised eyebrows in the Lindsay household last year when he suddenly announced he was going to watch Rangers at Ibrox with a lad in his class who had a spare season ticket. “But you’re a Celtic fan?” I said. “I know,” he said. “I just fancy it. I won’t clap or cheer them.”
Fortunately for him, James Tavernier and his team mates were so bad that day that nobody else inside the ground did either so he wasn’t exposed as being one of “them”.
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But is some unwritten rule of being a football supporter being broken here? Is he showing disloyalty to his club by going to see other teams? Is he committing an act of treachery by watching their sworn enemies? Should he simply content himself with viewing Celtic games on television and accept his lot?
The enmity which exists between rival clubs is the very lifeblood of the game. It adds a vital edge to proceedings on match day. The sport would be badly diminished as a spectacle if it was ever lost. Is it important, desirable even, to harbour an irrational contempt for your club’s greatest foes and their followers? Should going to see them in action by considered sacrilege?
It is probably no bad thing that football fans have the right to roam. My son has had some brilliant afternoons out doing so and his nascent love of the beautiful game has grown greatly. Clubs which face a constant struggle to survive in these difficult economic times have doubtless been grateful for his custom.
It has also shown him that other team’s fans, even those who support that mob in Govan, are no different to his lot. With a bit of luck, it will ensure he doesn’t turn into the sort of swivel-eyed moron who takes tribal hatred too far. Fingers and toes crossed.
Now if you will excuse me. I need to go and buy a half-and-half Celtic and Rangers scarf for the wee man to make amends for not getting him a ticket to the game at Parkhead tomorrow. Dermot has been blanking my calls again.
