It was a season that cemented a generational rivalry in English football.
Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City and Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool once again traded punches right to the very end as all other contenders lay flat on the canvas.
Elsewhere, Prodigal Son Cristiano Ronaldo returned to Old Trafford and loved it so much he was caught laughing uncontrollably as a trouncing by Brighton confirmed the United he’d left under Fergie had turned into a comedy club.
Their failure to appoint serial-winner Antonio Conte (a move almost as baffling as Everton hiring Rafa Benitez) was Spurs’ gain and it was good to see midfield legends from only few years ago bawling from the dugout: Patrick Vieira at Crystal Palace, Steven Gerrard at Aston Villa and Frank Lampard at Everton.
So, as we bid a final farewell to Roy Hodgson, Neil Warnock, Mike Dean and hopefully Mike Ashley, let’s hand out the brickbats and bouquets for the 2021-22 season.
BIGGEST JOKE
The FA forcing Manchester City and Liverpool fans to travel to Wembley for an FA Cup semi-final on an Easter Weekend when they knew there were no trains to take them there was a fine example of sick humour.
Almost as sick as Arsene Wenger selling his soul to FIFA to tout for a World Cup every two years, when as a manager he’d have openly mocked such naked greed.
But that couldn’t match LGBT+ icon David Beckham taking £150 million off gay-torturing Qatar to be their face of the World Cup then spouting garbage about how he “strongly believes in the power of football to bridge differences.” Sure, mate.
BEST SOUND
Fans packing out stadiums after the longest absence since World War Two was music to everyone’s ears.
As were the screams coming from PSG president Nasser Al-Khelaifi as he stormed the referee’s room demanding to know why his team of mercenaries had been knocked out of the Champions League by Real Madrid.
Jeff Stelling gave us all a lift when he announced a u-turn on leaving Sky’s Soccer Saturday and the deep outpourings of love for Marcelo Bielsa by the people of Leeds when he was sacked was a humbling testament to the power of football.
But the sound of Blackpool’s 17-year-old Jake Daniels announcing he was gay brought a wall of silence crashing down and made English football a more honest and healthier place.
BEST SIGHT
VAR’s thicker lines meant fewer armpits were caught offside allowing fans to enjoy goals again with confidence.
We had a spate of golden oldies shining in the twilight of their careers: Karim Benzema, Luka Modric, Robert Lewandowski, and Cristiano Ronaldo.
Mike Ashley finally packed away the Sports Direct signs at Newcastle and released Geordies from hell. But there was only one winner: Christian Eriksen playing football for Brentford seven months after he almost died on the pitch with a smile on his face that spread to everyone else’s.
WORST SOUND
The return of the mass use of vuvuzelas as a backdrop to a boring AFCON tournament was a turn-off.
The announcement that Burnley had sacked Sean Dyche in the middle of a relegation battle jarred as much as the squeaks from the revolving door in the Watford manager’s office.
But Chelsea supporters chanting Roman Abramovich’s name while Russian tanks were shelling Ukraine apartment blocks and the ugly the rise in fans singing about deaths at football games were by some distance the worst.
WORST SIGHT
Steve Bruce jumping back on the managerial merry-go-round he said was spinning him to an early grave, three months after picking up an £8million compo cheque from Newcastle, felt tacky.
Fans of his old club holding up Saudi Arabian flags at Chelsea a day after the state carried out 81 executions left a bad taste in the mouth that could not be sportswashed away.
But nothing was as sickening as the video showing Kurt Zouma slapping, then booting, his cat across the kitchen to a soundtrack of laughter. Although David Moyes being forced to defend West Ham’s appalling mealy-mouthed stance was almost as nauseous.
BEST BUY
Bruno Guimaraes proved to be a catalyst for Newcastle as did Phillipe Coutinho at Aston Villa.
Aaron Ramsdale improved Arsenal’s defence, Dejan Kulusevski was a big upgrade on Lucas Moura for Spurs, and Michael Olise and Marc Guehi were inspired signings for Crystal Palace. In Marc Cucurella, Brighton unearthed another gem and Tino Livramento has been a revelation at Southampton.
But few signings have made such a deep and rapid impact as Luis Diaz has at Liverpool , forcing his way into one of the strongest attacks in Europe and giving them fresh impetus in their pursuit of four trophies.
MOST IRRITATING TREND
The rise of the celebration police - pundits and fans deriding other sets of players and supporters from wildly enjoying winning a football match - left many cold.
As did kids and adults holding up bits of cardboard trying to emotionally blackmail a player into giving them his shirt. Players’ insincere Twitter apologies for having a ‘mare and tourist fans filming rival players celebrating goals against their team on their phones raised hackles.
But nothing had fans pulling out what’s left of their hair than referees' assistants taking longer and longer to raise their flags when players were yards offside.
BEST QUOTE
New Roma boss Jose Mourinho told the Italian media: "I won't be looking for trouble. I am more solid emotionally," before being sent off for remonstrating with a referee, then taunting Juventus fans and questioning if a respected journalist had a brain.
Jesse Marsch told us how he motivates players: “I have hundreds of quotes I use at different moments. There are historical figures like Gandhi” before Dan James took inspiration from the great pacifist by becoming the second Leeds player to be sent off for a violent challenge in three days.
But the winner is a mate of mine who was asked by a St Petersburg hotel if he’d cancelled a hotel room for the then scheduled Champions League Final “due to personal reasons, or other.”
He replied: "Other. Your president is a mad b******."
