It's a joke. It's a meme. It's reality, which is sorta sad when you think about it. But each and every day, the internet becomes filled with headlines of Florida Man, a mythical hero who sacrifices themselves at the base of the altar of the interwebs, all in the pursuit of fame and glory. And most times meth.
Yet, Florida Man is truly just a product of how the state releases police arrest information to the general public, unlike many other states. That means we'd likely also have California Man, New York Man, Mississippi Man, and Alaska Man, though the latter might just be a bear or moose.
However, until the time comes as to when those others rise up and take their place in the pantheon of insane arrests, we still have Florida to keep us entertained. And today's story about a Florida man stealing a motorcycle, crashing it almost immediately, and then waiting around for the police to show up only to tell them he had no clue why he was sitting next to the bike, is certainly a funny one for the books.
According to Fox 13 Tampa Bay, local officers responded to a call of a motorcycle crash in Lakeland, Florida. When they arrived at the scene, they found John Teal, Jr. sitting next to a crashed motorcycle. Teal Jr. was still wearing a helmet at the time. When the officers questioned him about what had happened, Teal Jr. claimed he didn't know anything about the motorcycle or why he was sitting next to it.
Police then ran the motorcycle's plates and VIN and found that the motorcycle had recently been stolen. They then later found that the ignition had been tampered with, too. The officers booked the man for grand theft (i.e. the motorcycle), tampering with evidence (the ignition), and using a fake tag.
One of the funniest parts of all this, however, is that this isn't Teal Jr.'s first time stealing a motorcycle. According to the local outlet, "Jail records show Teal has been arrested more than a dozen times in Polk County, dating back to 2010. He has prior convictions for motorcycle theft and tampering with evidence."
Yeah, no, not sure where this motorcycle came from or why I'm sitting next to it with a helmet on. Clearly, it's a coincidence!
