Five Great Reads: testing the vagus nerve, Tom Waits in love, triggered by therapy-speak

Vagus nerve research caught the interest of the Dutch motivational speaker and ‘iceman’ Wim Hof, who has claimed he can control inflammation in his body through breath work, meditation and cold water immersion. Photograph: Judith Jockel/The Guardian

Good morning, and happy 30th birthday to Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers. A treasure.

If you’re less in the mood for a claymation masterpiece about an evil penguin, and more in the mood to scroll your phone and think about big ideas, here are some of the more interesting articles I’ve seen around this week: on home, health, love, belonging, self-actualisation – the whole Maslow’s hierarchy.

1. Changing the way we talk about ourselves

‘We’re triggered. We’re processing our trauma. We’re doing the work.’ The rise of therapy-speak. Illustration: Phil Hackett/The Observer

The conversation about the absorption (invasion?) of therapy-speak into our daily lives isn’t a new one – but nor is the phenomenon going anywhere. Therapist Eleanor Morgan’s take is gentle, probing and raises important questions.

Where do I see it? Short answer: everywhere. But especially social media, where, as Morgan puts it, “algorithms feed us from a bottomless well of content”.

Is that bad? Not in theory. These terms can give us, as she says, a “compelling language with which to navigate [our] lives”. But have you ever had one of those conversations that should have been deep, and isn’t, and wondered why you’re feeling so alienated, from both the person across from you and from your own soul? (Just me?) One psychologist Morgan speaks to points out words are often a tool we use to distance ourselves – not to get close.

“Some therapists (including myself, and many I know) believe that the expressive nature of therapy-speak is, actually, not all that expressive,” Morgan writes. Her description of the language of actual therapy sounds more appealing: “a singular relationship … with its own intimate context and idiosyncrasies”.

How long it will take to read: a bit under five minutes.

2. Romance, by Tom Waits

Tom Waits with his wife, Kathleen, during the making of Swordfishtrombones in LA in 1982. Photograph: Clare O’Callaghan

My Tom Waits exposure has been more or less limited to one great Jim Jarmusch movie and that Waits rip-off song in the intro to Black Books. But this 40-year look-back on his “extraordinary mid-career trilogy” is a compelling invitation into the catalogue. It has also made me … believe in love again?

Tim Adams opens with a close-up on 1983’s Swordfishtrombones, where “there is, in among a lot of fabulously unhinged musical experimentation, a 90-second ballad of such tender beauty that it explains all the rest”. Waits wrote it for his wife, Kathleen Brennan – “She’s my only true love/ She’s all that I think of, look here/In my wallet/That’s her”.

The way Adams sees it, their relationship was the crucible in which Waits transformed from “bar-room balladeer” to something more interesting. In the musician’s words, his life got “more settled”, his work “more scary”.

Who else weighs in: fans and collaborators including Jeff Bridges, Ian Rankin and Thom Yorke.

And Jarmusch: “I have always seen Kathleen as a reliable kind of navigator, but she is always taking the ship further out into space,” he says. “What they have is not going to get broken, not in this lifetime at least.” (I ask you!)

How long will it take to read: six and a half minutes.

3. Older ladies, unite

‘We are fiercely opposed to ageism and paternalism.’ Hedi Argent, 94, joined New Ground 11 years ago after her partner died and she found herself living alone. Photograph: Jill Mead/The Guardian

New Ground is the UK’s first co-housing community for women over 50. It’s entirely managed by its 26 residents, aged 58 to 94, who set it up as an alternative to living alone. Communal decision-making can be tough, but on the whole life there seems to be working well for everyone involved. Locals can join as non-resident members and come for parties, Bill Nighy movies and gardening days among the berries and wildflowers. Are men allowed in, Anita Chaudhuri asks?

“Of course! Everyone asks that,” 71-year-old Jude Tisdall tells her.

***

“We have brothers, fathers, sons, grandsons, lovers and everything in between. The only thing is they can’t come and live here.”

Sounds nice.

How long will it take to read: about five minutes.

Further reading: Co-living is also picking up steam in Australia – read Katie Cunningham, or Josh Lourensz on buying a house with friends.

4. Nightmare stuff

‘A quick glossary: these bright-eyed newbies are called PNMs, or potential new members. The girls they’re trying to impress, who are already in a sorority, are called actives.’ Photograph: Brynn Anderson/AP

This week in America Can Be a Bit Full-On, Alaina Demopoulos speaks to the consultants helping teens get into elite sororities, where getting accepted “is like Miss Congeniality meets Lord of the Flies”. A big part of this “help” comes in the form of professional social media branding – highlighting the cognitive dissonance of a culture that says it’s evolving to be more inclusive while aggressively prioritising the status quo.

“These institutions are an essential part of the way the elite and their privilege is protected in the US,” Demopoulos writes. They’re still, she points out, “overwhelmingly white”.

From the consultant’s mouth: “My job isn’t to change you, it’s to smooth out the rough edges.”

See also: “I told her: your TikToks are cringe.”

How long will it take to read: five minutes.

5. ‘Electric superhighway’: is the vagus nerve a key to health?

‘From plunging your face into icy water, to piercing the small flap of cartilage in front of your ear, the internet is awash with tips for hacking this system that carries signals between the brain and chest and abdominal organs.’ Illustration: Joel Burden/The Guardian

There is massive interest among scientists (and people who use the internet, and Dutch ice bath guru Wim Hof) in the vagus nerve – in broad terms, the communication line between the brain and a whole bunch of other organs, structures and processes. Tapping into it in the right way, Linda Geddes writes, might “reduce stress and anxiety, curb inflammation and digestive issues, and perhaps improve … sleep and concentration”.

It’s not just hype. “There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that vagus nerve stimulation will treat a wide range of diseases and disorders,” one expert tells her – “everything from rheumatoid arthritis through to depression and alcoholism.”

Take your ice bath with a grain of salt: Geddes points out that researchers are “broadly sceptical” of many “hacks” flooding TikTok (eg humming in a low voice, or twisting your neck and rolling your eyes). They are interested in more direct modes of vagal nerve stimulation – which I won’t do scientific justice to here; you’re better to read her very good explanation.

How long will that take: about five minutes.

Email us with your thoughts at australia.newsletters@theguardian.com – we love to hear from you. Or if you’re reading this on-site, get into the comments. Maybe you’ll find love, or start an interesting feud … the weekend awaits.

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