Another win for late-stage capitalism, finally, with news that the pet name for Justin Bieber's penis has spent much of the week trending on Twitter.
A couple of years ago, Twitter updated the algorithm that dictates its trending topics to reflect what was "immediately popular" and "most breaking" – an update that stopped "Justin Bieber" being a permanently trending topic. Well, you don't vanquish the Beliebers that easily, and this week, fans of the wholesome teen idol contrived to get "Who is Jerry?" trending worldwide.
As for the answer to that inquiry, Justin will only snigger: "It seems kind of like: 'Here's Jerry!' My fans are a little inappropriate."
You're telling me. Lost in Showbiz has only just exorcised the image of Justin bringing his pet snake with him to last year's MTV music awards, and smirkingly telling the red-carpet reporters that his name was Johnson.
Now Beliebers are forcing me to deal with the cultural debut of Jerry. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in – as Michael Corleone says in a movie that I believe Justin is only just legally of age to see.
