Ferne McCann teared up as she "mourned" over the loss of her friendship with Billie Faiers as she discussed the voice note scandal in the opening episode of the new series of her reality TV show.
Mum-of-one Ferne confirmed she has reached out to Sam Faiers' sister following the initial leaks last year and broke down in tears as she revealed her reasons for sending the derogatory voice notes several years ago - a time period where she was not on good terms with Sam.
The Only Way Is Essex star, 32, was accused of making a series of "vile" comments about her former pals Sam and Billie in September last year, with one revealing the pregnant star calling Sam a "fat c***".
In other voice notes, Ferne appeared to call mum-of-three Sam a narcissistic b***h', whilst in another Ferne was accused of hitting out at Billie for giving her son the same name as her jailed ex, Arthur.
Weeks later the anonymous account on Instagram claimed Ferne made comments about her ex Arthur's acid attack victim Sophie Hall.
After a few months of laying low, Ferne opened up about the situation and the end of her 22-year friendship with Billie.
Speaking to James 'Arg' Argent on her show, Ferne McCann: First Time Mum, she said: "I think the place that I was at, Sam had it all. She had a partner she had a baby and I didn't.
"Yeah, I'm not condoning it. I did say something really nasty about her and it has affected my friendships. At the moment, my friendship with Billie... You know how much I... [cries] It's really hard."
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When Arg asked if she can fix the situation and if she's contacted Billie, she answered: "Yes and no, I understand the position she's in... I've tried to message her lots but I get it.
"I'm very much mourning the loss of a 22-year friendship. It's hard. I massively regret it but I'm unable to do a lot apart from my trust in the police, try and patch things back together..."
At the beginning of the episode, Ferne admitted to feeling 'so ashamed and embarrassed' by the leaked voice notes.
She confessed it was from a time in her life when she was 'really hurting'.
The TV personality also appeared on This Morning on Tuesday and apologised for the hurtful comments she made.
Ferne also vowed to reveal the "full truth" soon.
"It wasn't my finest hour and it definitely was a very difficult time in my life when those voice notes were leaked. I need to take this opportunity to publicly apologise again to those affected," she said to hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.
"Obviously the words I used were unpleasant, but I have reached out privately to those people. It's very difficult - I'd love to sit here with you guys and with my followers and share exactly what went on, but it's now part of a criminal investigation."
She added: "I can't do that but what I can say is, these voice notes were from a time when I was in a very vulnerable situation and it was a very very difficult situation for me, five or six years ago. Since then, I've done a lot of work on myself."
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