Abused, miserable and locked up, Charlotte* turned to self-harm — but when she was caught by a youth worker, the response was far from kind.
Warning: Readers may find the details of this story distressing.
"She slammed my head into a wooden bed base," she told Tasmania's commission of inquiry into child sexual abuse.
"She told me to grow up and stop doing it. It was making more paperwork for them."
Charlotte was sent to Tasmania's Ashley Youth Detention Centre at age 12 and was in and out of there until she was 15.
In that time, she was sexually assaulted on multiple occasions by workers and other detainees, the commission heard.
One worker, Edwin*, started harassing her when she was 12.
"He'd talk like really dirty to me, tell me that I'm pretty all the time," she told the commission.
"He'd come and sit at the table and play cards with me and he'd start feeling my legs under the table.
"At night time he'd look in my viewing panel … and he'd watch me in the shower."
She told the commission he would "sleazily" touch her and her friend's breasts.
On one occasion she said he came up to her and a friend in the common room and wrote "bite me" across her friend's chest.
A female worker reported it, but that same worker told Charlotte that "nothing had been done" about Edwin.
On her second stay there, Edwin took her to the gym and left her there with four boys.
"He more or less walked out and let the four boys do what they wanted to me," she told the commission.
"[One of the boys] pulled down my pants and done (sic) what he wanted to me."
She said she felt like she could not report it.
"The boy that done it had been in there for a long time. He was very liked by the workers," she told the commission.
"Even if they did something, they wouldn't get in trouble for it."
This was not an uncommon observation.
Throughout the commission's Ashley sittings, there have been stories about detainees who have been favoured above all others, who have been able to decide who they want in their unit and which youth workers they interact with.
Charlotte told the commission her experiences at Ashley had changed her.
"I can't be around any bloke like I used to," she told the commission.
"I don't feel comfortable around anyone. I don't like anyone touching me."
As she gave her evidence, Charlotte repeatedly told the commission she did not have the words to describe her experiences or express how her time at Ashley had changed her.
It turned out she meant that literally.
"I don't even know how to read and write because I never got the schooling in there," she told the commission.
"It was like we were just pushed into a room.
"I still can't read and write. I have no words. I'm just blank. All the time."
As her evidence concluded, the commissioners reassured her they had heard everything.
"We share your tears, and we heard your voice," said commissioner Robert Benjamin.
Ashley staff sceptical of allegations
Assistant manager Fiona Atkins, who has been at the centre for more than 20 years, told the commission it was her experience that young people would complain about issues.
"It could be anything from food to 'I don't want to be in the unit'," she told the commission.
She said she could not remember anyone complaining to her about being "bashed" but was sure it would have happened, and she only remembered one incident where a child told her they had been sexually assaulted.
"Some young people have actually voiced that they will say, 'You touched me' so they can get a payout," she said.
Ms Atkins was later asked whether she thought staff at Ashley generally felt like the historical allegations against their colleagues were false, to which she agreed.
She was then asked if that was her view.
After a long pause, she answered.
"That's a hard question … I would like to think it's not true, but if there's evidence to suggest..." she trailed off.
Ms Atkins agreed she had to be "open to the possibility" that the allegations were true.
She also told the commission she believed the culture of Ashley had changed for the better in the past 18 months.
'Business as usual' response from government
The commission also heard the government department responsible for Ashley was "overwhelmed" by the scale of historical abuse allegations and the obligations placed on it in the last few years.
"It's my view that the department didn't see this for the crisis that it was," said Peter Graham, Tasmania's registrar for working with vulnerable persons.
"There were multiple grave allegations about current staff that kind of got a 'business as usual' response."
He said he believed the department failed to recognise the "scale of the challenge" at Ashley and to put appropriate systems, processes and resources in place to meet its obligations under the act.
"The scale of information reported to my office … and the fact it was relatively recent, as in related to current employees, was extraordinary," he told the commission.
But he said he struggled to get further information from the records or investigations in order to form a view about whether people should have their working with vulnerable people cards suspended or cancelled so they could be suspended from other settings.
Mr Graham also said they still did not have outcomes from investigations that started in November 2020.
The Ashley hearings continue until Friday.
*Name has been changed.
