In 2021 I was forced to flee Afghanistan during the fall of Kabul, abandoning my newly built dream home, a stable job, close friends and relatives and above all my loving family. It was heartbreaking. I have lived with the pain for two long years hoping to be reunited with my family in Australia soon. How I endured this trauma is something that intrigues me. What has kept me going during this terrible time?
Being patient and composed in tough times is hard, especially when your personal and professional life is at stake. It requires much more resilience than most humans are built or trained for. Taking refuge in Islamic meditation and getting emotional strength from it helped me like nothing else.
At the heart of self-consciousness in Islam is the idea of Nafs Mutmaen, a soul at ease with the body. This can only be attained by not corrupting your own soul with lies and selfishness, and making sure you are always kind to others.
This kind of survival mode was taught to me in my early days when my calm and composed late father would gently and gracefully walk me to the mosque for our evening prayers when we fled the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan more than three decades ago.
There were circumstances in the past two years when, more often than not, things were out of control and I felt I was at breaking point but, instead of sinking myself deep into depression, I would try to look at the bigger picture and see my tiny self within a massive universe of galaxies, planets and so on. There must be others facing even worst circumstances, I reminded myself. This allowed me to get my thoughts composed and to move on with a positive attitude.
Parallel to maintaining a disciplined practice of meditating five times a day, with clean body and clothes, the idea of Taffakur – taking some time out for yourself to reflect on life – helped me guard against the haphazard rush of modern life. The three different sorts of posturing in these prayers – qayam, ruko and sujood – can help reduce stress and prevent being overwhelmed by circumstances stemming from self-pity and lack of control. It taught me to be elegantly patient despite being extremely angry and frustrated when my family visa process wasn’t moving.
As the poet Rumi says: “Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full.”
Rebuilding my life and career in Australia has been daunting, to say the least. Looking back at the past year, I impress myself a bit. I dared to take small and humble steps back into my industry while also branching out into suit-selling, cricket and humanitarianism. Thanks to the vibrant multicultural society in Australia, I often found myself meditating shoulder-to-shoulder with lovely people from unique and diverse backgrounds from all over the world. Not to mention the legendary friends and colleagues who have always been there when I was down and needed motivation.
Of course one can argue that there would be no need for any of this if we lived in a perfect world with no wars, poverty or political meddling. But is there such a thing as a perfect world? We shouldn’t give up on striving for a better world where things are more fair, transparent and easy for all. But there are moments here and there when we need extraordinary interventions in our lives for good and there is no harm or embarrassment in it.
Shadi Khan Saif is a Melbourne-based journalist and former Pakistan and Afghanistan news correspondent
