An expectant mum has asked if mothers are more attached to their babies than fathers. It comes after the new mum wanted to go away without her baby but was told she wouldn't want to when the baby arrives.
She then questioned why it is accepted dads go back to work so soon after the birth of their children. Posting on Mumsnet, she said she is expecting her first baby in August and wanted to leave baby with her mum for two nights and take her husband to Paris for his 40th.
The mum was told "unanimously no" as people said she would not feel ready and the baby would be too young. The poster said it got her wondering if mums get more attached to their babies than dads.
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She said: "My husband has to go back to work for long days two weeks after our baby is born. It may involve some overnight stays sometimes. No-one will bat an eyelid at this and obviously husband will miss us but it's not a big deal. My friend's partner had to work away for 3 weeks at a time when their baby was born and again, that's just his job.
"Why is it so much harder for mums to leave the babies? My baby won't be breastfed and when husband is here he will do more than his fair share. He is ecstatic about becoming a dad and I know he will love our baby more than anything.
"But why am I told that I won't be ready and desperately won't want to leave them for a night or two? Hope the question makes sense, I wonder what the difference seems to be between mums and dads and the attachment to their babies."
Other people in the forum expressed their opinions. One person said: "I think you should just wait until the baby comes and then see how you feel rather than overthinking everything now."
Another added: "Bonding question aside, you are talking about two different kinds of overnight trips. Birthday/hen do trips are optional, work trips usually are not. Of course you are going to get different feelings about whether you should go or not. The comparator would be whether mothers who go back to work after a short maternity leave go on overnight work trips - and yes, of course they do if it’s a requirement of their job."
Someone else said: "No, mums are not closer than dads to their babies unless the mum and dad have made it that way by their actions from birth onwards.
"The problem is this societal message of a mystic mother and baby bond and the old patriarchal trope that mum knows baby best. The pressure on mums to be 24/7 with their newborn is immense. And then if you do this, every day you are not handing baby off for equal time with dad is a day you are making this into a self-fulfilling prophecy."
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