An "exceptional" Cambridge University student who did “exceptionally well in her first year” took her own life in her college room, an inquest has heard.
Erin Cresswell, of Gateshead, was reading natural sciences at Jesus College and “came in the top 15%”, a coroner said, but she had struggled with her mental health for years.
Her parents, Kevin and Heather Cresswell, wiped tears from their eyes at Thursday’s hearing in Peterborough.
The 20-year-old’s mum said Erin “didn’t know why people bothered with her” and that her daughter “didn’t value her life very much”.
Mrs Cresswell had contacted Jesus College on Monday May 9 last year after Erin did not respond to messages over the weekend, and she was found unresponsive on her bathroom floor by a porter.
Simon Milburn, area coroner for Cambridgeshire and Peterborough, said that while Erin’s death was confirmed at 11.03am on May 9, it was “likely on the evidence Erin had sadly been dead for some time before that”.
He said that a suicide note was found in her room and Mr Milburn concluded that she died by suicide.
Detective Inspector Lindsay Harbour said, in evidence summarised by the coroner, that CCTV footage showed Erin entering a staircase to her room on Saturday May 7.
“She appeared in good spirits in the footage and there was nothing to show any concern,” she said. “There was no further footage to show Erin leaving.”
The officer said that the last entry in her exercise diary, on Friday May 6, described a workout in “small and neat, fairly distinctive” handwriting.
The officer also found a suicide note addressed to her family.
The coroner said that fellow students described Erin as “quiet, kept herself to herself”.
He said she “was considered to be a model student who worked hard, went to the gym and although she was quiet, was clearly well-liked by all who spoke to her”.
Her mother said, in a statement read by the coroner, that the “bottom dropped out of Erin’s life” when she was dropped by a friendship group in Year 10, and she developed an eating disorder.
She said Erin later “threw herself into” going to the gym “with the aim of getting strength and not weight loss”.
Mrs Cresswell said that her daughter was “happy here in Cambridge” and "she met nothing but kind people".
Adding: “She said she didn’t know why people bothered with her as she had nothing to say and it was just in pity.”
She told how Erin “unfortunately couldn’t let anyone into what was in her head” and said: “We’re aware she didn’t value her life very much.”
“It wasn’t something we were expecting,” she said. “We were keeping a close eye on her but we didn’t feel this was something that could happen.”
Mrs Cresswell continued: “I wish she could have realised how loved she was. I suppose that now in Erin’s head she’s at peace.”
She said that Erin had cognitive behavioural therapy in 2016 and had also self-referred to South Tyneside and Sunderland NHS Foundation Trust in May, 2020. She had three counselling sessions at Cambridge University in August and September 2021, where her risk was assessed as low.
The coroner said that Erin “had problems going back a number of years, problems initiated or at least exacerbated to a significant degree by that one event at school”.
“Despite those struggles that she went through, the inherent shyness, the lack of self-worth, there was clearly no indication she was thinking about taking her own life at any stage,” Mr Milburn said.
He said there was “one occasion with a counsellor where she expressed some thoughts about not being here but that seems to be isolated and not repeated”.
Mr Milburn said that in notes in her room, Erin detailed a previous occasion where she planned to kill herself but “hadn’t gone through with it”.
Recording that Erin died by suicide, Mr Milburn said: “Erin had struggled with her mental health over a number of years and had also left notes indicating that she was contemplating taking her life, but had never made those comments to those who were close to her.”
Sonita Alleyne, Master of Jesus College, said afterwards: “Erin was kind, well-liked and an exceptional student who enjoyed her studies and had a supportive group of close friends.
“Her loss devastated our college community and our thoughts remain with her family and friends.”
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
