Ryan Jones says his world is falling apart after being diagnosed with early-onset dementia at the age of 41.
Jones made 75 caps for his country, captaining them on 33 occasions. The 41-year-old also made three appearances on the British and Irish Lions' tour of New Zealand back in 2005. Involved in three Grand Slam wins, in 2005, 08 and 12, the former blindside flanker has admitted to being scared by the disease.
It also paints a worrying picture for the future of rugby, both of union and league, with increasing cases of dementia in the sport. Steve Thompson - England World Cup winner in 2003 - is another who revealed he has dementia and is a part of an eight-man group of former players who are lodging legal proceedings against World Rugby.
In a heartbreaking interview with The Times, he said: “I feel like my world is falling apart. And I am really scared. Because I’ve got three children and three step-children and I want to be a fantastic dad,” he says. “I lived 15 years of my life like a superhero and I’m not. I don’t know what the future holds.
“I am a product of an environment that is all about process and human performance. I’m not able to perform like I could. And I just want to lead a happy, healthy, normal life. I feel that’s been taken away and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t train harder, I can’t play the referee, I don’t know what the rules of the game are anymore.”
Further into his diagnosis, Jones revealed that his family began to see changes in him. He added: "Whether it was partner or family, they were noticing changes in me. I was diagnosed with depression and I started to realise that some of my cognitive function wasn’t great. I began to see that my short-term memory wasn’t great. I was forgetting things."
It then emerged to the 41-year-old former Wales captain that his depression was a symptom of his early-onset. Following the diagnosis Jones revealed that his dementia has left him 'terrified'. "It terrifies me because I don’t know if, in two years’ time, we’re sat here and these episodes are a week long, two weeks long or permanent," he added.
"That’s the fear, that’s the bit that never leaves. That’s the bit I can’t shake off. Every episode I have also leaves a bit of a legacy. Everything we cancel, every relationship that I poison or don’t have time for anymore, just makes it a little bit tougher to cope. I don’t know how to slow that down, make it stop, what to do.”
Despite his heartbreaking news, Jones stayed positive when discussing the remarkable career he enjoyed on the rugby field as he commented: "I was a kid who had a dream of playing for Wales. I got to live that dream. I captained Wales more times than anyone else until Warby [Sam Warburton] came along and I wouldn’t change.
"Actually I would change it based on my experience now. But in the moment it was amazing.” Slamming the sport's response to brain injury though, he added: "It is walking headlong with its eyes closed into a catastrophic situation.”
