A retired champion athlete from Northumberland who hit rock bottom and even contemplated suicide has begun an epic walk from John O'Groats to Land's End to raise awareness of men's mental health.
For 15 years, Hexham's Andy Caine was a professional sportsman - competing at the highest levels in the athletics world. But three years ago, with his marriage disintegrating and stuck in a career he didn't enjoy, his mental health suffered dramatically.
He moved back home with his parents and struggled massively during lockdown, separated from his children. But, after reaching that dark place, Andy, 45, began engaging with men's groups and has moved onto become a facilitator for them - and as he recovers he's passionate about helping others find a "more positive version of masculinity" in a changing world.
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He's now begun his epic walk - which will see him track from John O'Groats to Glasgow and then down the western half of the UK - via places such as Carlisle, Preston and Hereford. He is looking to stay with supporters on the trek - which will last to mid-December - and he is raising money for the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and other charities working to help men's mental health.
He said: "Society is looking for a different kind of masculinity, and reconsidering what it means to be a man. Men have lost their purpose today. I was stuck in a career I didn't want to be in and my relationship was at a really difficult point.
"That's what broke me down. But I built myself back. The old me was addicted to material things. I was absolutely stuck in a depressive downward spiral. I was displaying all of the symptoms of depression but I was refusing to admit that, I was being a 'tough man'. I went into a dark space, of course there's the really deep stuff.
"My body was trying to tell me something was wrong. I was displaying clear signs of stress through unhealthy levels of anger, addiction to exercise, loss of appetite and a poor ability to focus and had difficulty sleeping. The signs were there that something needed to change."
Andy explained that he lost motivation and felt "far removed from the story I told myself about who I was". He added: "My usual motivation, confidence and positivity was at an all-time low as symptoms of depression started to deepen and led to thoughts of suicide.
"I became a recluse, even from my own parents in their house. I withdrew from all of my friendships. Feeling isolated in the shame and guilt, like nobody else in the world would know what I was going through.
“Some days I struggled to get out of bed, constantly waking up in a deep, heavy sadness. I couldn’t shift it.
"Luckily, I had someone close to me who motivated me to turn things around. I started to focus on mindfulness, gratitude and getting out in nature and learning to enjoy life again."
Andy said that on his walk he hopes to meet - and stay with - as many men as possible, and he said he wanted to share the positive lessons he had learned from being involved with men's mental health groups. He added: "I really want to encourage that vulnerability. It's about talking and walking.
So far, he said he had overnight stays arranged for about half of his journey, but was keen to hear from others who could support him.
"Although things are changing, for many men, there are still societal and emotional barriers to really being vulnerable and talking about our feelings with friends and family. Men’s groups have changed that for me. The opportunity to connect with other men and share incredibly vulnerable experiences in a safe, non-judgemental space is powerful, relatable and liberating.
“They are an invaluable resource in one of the biggest challenges we face as a society today, helping men redefine masculinity in a way that allows for healthy communication, self-awareness, presence and purpose."
He said it was vital for society to create better male role models for young people, and added: "As I walk the length of the country, everywhere I stop I hope to hold or attend a men’s group. Where we can share our experiences, our troubles and our joys in life and give men an opportunity to connect.
"There is a mental health crisis in this country, which has been greatly exacerbated by the circumstances of the last two years and we need to tackle it. 125 people a week die by suicide and 75% are men.
"I hope that each stop will help someone who feels he has nowhere else to go."
To find out more about Andy's trek - which he has called Passage of Men, visit his Instagram page at instagram.com/passageofmen/
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