Britain cannot offer its skiers much snow, its sliding sports don’t have a track, and there is just one curling rink outside of Scotland.
The bobsledders pretty much fund themselves; the long track speed skaters sell coffee to pay their way; the cross-country skiers simply live in Norway.
The United Kingdom is unlikely to be a winter sport superpower any time soon: in 23 Winter Games, the Brits have won just 32 medals.
But here in China their 50 athletes want for nothing.
When temperatures plunged so low that traditional winter sport nations started squealing, Team GB got on with it.
When the Swedes complained it was cold and Germany of having no hot food, our lot wondered what all the fuss was about.
Have Your Say! How many medals will Team GB win? Tell us your prediction here.
The reason is that while they mostly lack 18-carat medal-winning credentials, their support package is of the platinum variety.
Prior to these Games, freight containers full of survival kits arrived from the UK as part of operation ‘Home from Home’.
For the first time at a Winter Olympics, performance training spaces were created exclusively for Team GB in each of the three Games hubs in and around Beijing.
Ten Watt bikes, two Ski Ergs, a cross-country treadmill and six fully kitted-out Olympic lifting areas were set up.
Seventy sofas, 180 mattress toppers and 40 Smart TVs helped furnish the Brits’ accommodation blocks, along with five PlayStation 4 consoles and 15 bikes.
There are phones with Hong Kong SIM cards for athletes and support staff to stay close to family and friends.
More than 3,000 tea bags have been shipped to a nation not exactly strangers to the stuff, along with 160 tins of baked beans, 1,200 coffee pods and gallons of fruit squash and oat milk.
“We pride ourselves in creating the best set-up possible in a temporary constructed environment,” said BOA spokesman Scott Field.
“‘Home from home’, that’s our strategy.”
Being a nation with no natural affinity to the sports or the conditions in which they are contested makes the quest for success incredibly costly.
Around £28 million has been invested in this Beijing Olympic cycle, and it comes with no guarantees.
Prediction specialists Gracenote have Team GB down for just three medals here, and 17th spot in the table.
£2 free shop bet with William Hill with Tuesday's Daily Mirror
The British Olympic Association’s calculation is that a talent identification programme which trawls non-winter sports for convertible talent will unearth more gems.
But also that by offering such enviable support, others will follow the example of snowboard cross world champion Charlotte Bankes in switching allegiances - and redress the balance between hope and glory.
