Deri Baines-White and her husband have had 11 miscarriages. Deri and Gary have been trying for a baby for 13 years.
She has opened up about her journey, talking about the lowest points the couple have been through. Deri first fell pregnant in 2010, but sadly, she suffered an ectopic pregnancy, which happens when a fertilised egg implants itself outside of the womb.
A short while later she conceived again but had another ectopic pregnancy. Her pregnancy was followed by a blighted ovum, where the placenta and sac grow but there is no baby.
On her dreams for a baby Deri, aged 47, says: “I can’t explain how much it would mean for us to be a family. It would be a wish come true – I can’t even put it into words. It’s been very stressful but we’re a strong unit and we’ve got through each loss. But every time we lost a baby, we lost part of our soul.”
As the couple grew older they decided to go for IVF. They saved £6,000 for treatment in Prague and visited the Czech Republic in 2013. Deri had donor eggs implanted and fell pregnant with twins but tragically miscarried when fluid leaked into her womb.
Speaking to the Manchester Evening News she said: “It was another loss and it was very devastating. We went back and forth having miscarriages.
“I became obsessed [with becoming pregnant]. I must have spent around £2,000 on pregnancy tests. Sometimes I’ll take them three times a day. I can have a positive test in the morning and by the afternoon it will be negative and I knew it was going to be a loss. I was just looking all the time.”
In 2019, Deri's mum Janice died after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. The couple had been living in a caravan park at the time of her death, using Janice’s property as proof of a second home.
But when she died, they no longer had anywhere to live when the park closed once a year, meaning Deri and Gary were given an eviction notice and found themselves homeless. Deri was diagnosed with PTSD following her mum's death.
She lost her job as a cleaner, and didn't return to university - where she was doing a mental health nursing degree.
“We want to get pregnant for her to be a nana,” Deri said as she started to cry. “She wanted to be a nana and we couldn’t do that for her.
“I lost my place at university, I lost my job, my car and our home. I had to watch my mum die.”
With nowhere to live, the couple moved in with Gary’s mother in Salford before applying for a council property. They now live in their own one-bedroom flat in Monton.
“We came here jobless, homeless and careless,” Deri added. “We made a bit and now we’re here in our lovely little flat and our lives are back on track.”
Having recovered from the trauma, the pair now feel ready to try for a baby again – believing they only have one more shot due to their ages.
The couple have explored the option of adoption but did not meet the criteria due to living in a one-bedroom flat. “We were homeless for a while so we weren’t thinking about getting pregnant,” Deri added.
“But we’re coming up to 48 this year and we just wanted to try once more for a baby. I’m feeling better and I’ve moved on and I think it’s the right time.”
Deri says the couple believe a hydrosalpinx – a fluid blockage in the fallopian tubes that can make it difficult to become pregnant – may be the reason behind all her baby losses. She has now chosen to have her right fallopian tube removed and believes a donated embryo is the last chance she has at becoming a mother.
The couple are set to return to Prague for another round of IVF treatment, costing more than £10,000, and have set up a Gofundme appeal in the hopes of raising money for the procedure. “My husband and I started later in life; it would be everything to us,” Deri added. “It would be the light at the end of the tunnel. It would complete us and our family.”
To donate, follow the link by clicking here.
