Match report: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth
Match report: Everton 1-4 Newcastle
Time to wrap up this Clockwatch, mainly because I’ve got a screen headache and I feel a bit sick. I’ll add the match reports when they come in though. Thanks for your company and emails, and most importantly your donations to Travis. Goodnight!
Updated
GOAL! Spurs 2-2 Man Utd (Son 80)
It’s been coming. A brilliant cross from Harry Kane is finished off at the far post by Son, and Spurs are eyeing a famous victory!
75 min: Spurs 1-2 Man Utd
It’s a game of two halves at Spurs, as it has been a few times this season. You can follow the last 15 minutes with Barry Glendenning.
Full time: Everton 1-4 Newcastle
That’s a brilliant win for Newcastle and a devastating defeat for Everton, who were taken apart in the last quarter of the game. They’re not down yet, but they are waist-deep in the malodorous stuff.
The only downside for Newcastle was a pre-match injury to Alexander Isak, which stopped him coming off the bench tod produce one of the assists of the season.
STOP DATA.
Stop what you're doing and watch this Alexander Isak dribble 🤤 pic.twitter.com/Kdq8E09fzo
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 27, 2023
Updated
90+5 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle The substitute Neal Maupay kicks Bruno Guimaraes up the arse - bold as brass, pure frustration - and is booked. Quite why VAR hasn’t upgraded that to red I don’t know.
Full: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth
Bournemouth are surely staying up! Marcus Tavernier’s goal has given them a deserved victory – and a seven-point cushion. Southampton, alas, are going down.
Updated
90+4 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle Literally tens of thousands of home fans have already left. Crikey, I’ve not seen that in a long while.
90+6 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth Walker-Peters bustles into the area and is about to shoot when Kelly makes a marvellous lunging challenge to put the ball behind for a corner.
90+3 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle Jacob Murphy has just missed a great chance after Newcastle opened up Everton with alarming ease. The last half hour has been really grim for Everton.
Everton 1-4 Newcastle
“A disconsolate Everton fan here,” says Matt Hobbs. “I appreciate the cupboard is rather bare in terms of what’s available but Dyche is getting it badly wrong in my opinion.
“Sticking with Godfrey, at fault for three of the four goals tonight, after poor showings against Manchester United and Fulham, was not necessary. Nathan Patterson is available, or if you don’t trust him, bring Coady in to play three at the back.
“It’s the same with pairing Keane and Tarkowski when the team continues to leak goals. Why not give Mina a game? The data shows Everton win more games with him than without.
“Yes there’s a chronic lack of creativity but lumping the ball forward in tandem with picking the same vulnerable defence is a one-way ticket to relegation. Some of the defending tonight has been disgraceful and if Dyche isn’t there to make you solid then what is the point of anything any more?
“It’s hard to see any way back from here.”
NO GOAL! Everton 1-4 Newcastle
Dan Burn was offside earlier in the move, so the goal has been disallowed. Meanwhile, has anyone seen Alexander Isak? Such a shame he missed tonight’s game given the form he’s in.
GOAL! Everton 1-5 Newcastle (Schar 90)
From bad to worse to whatever comes next for Everton. Fabian Schar has scored a fantastic goal, beating Jordan Pickford with a precise curler from 30 yards. But wait, VAR’s getting involved…
Updated
90 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle The record books will say there was no assist for this goal. Nope. Alexander Isak certainly had bugger all to do with it. Was he even on the field?
STOP DATA.
Stop what you're doing and watch this Alexander Isak dribble 🤤 pic.twitter.com/Kdq8E09fzo
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 27, 2023
Updated
88 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle Anthony Gordon has just been booed onto the field by the wya.
NO GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth
Che Adams’ left toenail has been ruled offside! It’s another Spandex-tight VAR decision, and a nightmare for Southampton.
GOAL! Southampton 1-1 Bournemouth (Adams 89)
They’ve got one! Two of the substitutes combine for the equalise: Stuart Armstrong surges into the area from the right and crosses low to Adams, who flips the ball up and siwvels to crash a volley into the net off the underside of the bar. Fine finish.
88 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth Apologies, I’ve been distracted by the drama at Goodison Park. After dominating most of the second half it looks like Bournemouth are sitting on their 1-0 lead. Southampton really need two goals, not one.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-2 Man Utd (Pedro Porro 56)
It’s on!
84 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle Yep, Isak is in my fantasy team, and I do have the face on.
83 min: Everton 1-4 Newcastle The absurdity of metrics: because that Isak cross hit the elbow of Tarkowski he won’t get an assist, even though he beat 47 players to set up the goal.
GOAL! Everton 1-4 Newcastle (Murphy 81)
Forget about it. Jacob Murphy restores Newcastle’s three-goal lead straight away, tapping into an open goal after an extraordinary run from Alexander Isak on the left. He beat Godrey, Gue, Keane (twice), then Godfrey again before lifting the ball over the advancing Pickford. It hit the elbow of a defender and deflected to Murphy, who had an open goal.
Updated
GOAL! Everton 1-3 Newcastle (McNeil 80)
A sniff of a sniff for Everton. Dwight McNeil’s inswinging corner beats everyone at the near post and bounces into the net on the far side. Nick Pope isn’t thrilled.
Updated
78 min: Everton 0-3 Newcastle Schar’s header from a corner is just kept out by Jordan Pickford. Everton started this game perkily but they are struggling desperately now.
77 min: Everton 0-3 Newcastle The worry now for Everton is that what’s left of their morale could disappear in the next 15 minutes. Isak’s snap-volley is turned behind by Keane, who then gives Gueye a mouthful.
79 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth The goalscorer Tavernier has limped off with what looks like a muscle injury.
76 min: Everton 0-3 Newcastle This is Newcastle’s seventh win in eight games, an outstanding response to their new year blip.
Everton 0-3 Newcastle (Wilson) Guimaraes fed a good pass into Wilson on the edge of the D. He took a quick touch and then whipped a beautiful curler into the top corner. Pickford had no chance.
Updated
GOAL! Everton 0-3 Newcastle (Wilson 75)
Callum Wilson makes it three with a majestic goal!
Callum Wilson bags a brace for Newcastle with a class finish 💫 pic.twitter.com/twG7cgR12w
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 27, 2023
Updated
75 min: Everton 0-2 Newcastle A change apiece: Maupay for Onana, Isak for Longstaff.
This is the bottom of the table as things stand.
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 16 | Leeds | 33 | -21 | 30 |
| 17 | Nottm Forest | 33 | -31 | 30 |
| 18 | Leicester | 33 | -13 | 29 |
| 19 | Everton | 33 | -24 | 28 |
| 20 | Southampton | 33 | -30 | 24 |
Everton 0-2 Newcastle (Joelinton) Within 90 seconds of that wonderful save, Willock beat Godfrey too easily on the left, got to the byline and lifted a short cross that was headed decisively into the net by Joelinton. A fine goal from Newcastle’s point of view, but it looked like Ben Godfrey’s legs stopped working as Willock ran away from him.
Updated
GOAL! Everton 0-2 Newcastle (Joelinton 72)
Pickford’s save counts for nothing.
Updated
70 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle What a save from Jordan Pickford! The second of those corners was headed away to Willock of the edge of the area. He controlled the ball without letting it touch the ground and then whipped a glorious volley that was swerving inside the far post until Pickford – who must have seen it so late – fingertipped it round the post. That’s an exceptional save.
69 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle A couple of corners in quick succession for Newcastle, who are keeping Everton at arm’s length. I’m surprised we haven’t seen Demarai Gray.
“Leicester v Everton on 1 May looking more and more like a match not to be missed,” says Joshua Reynolds.
Isn’t it. As things stand Bournemouth are pretty much safe and Southampton are gone, so it would be two from five: West Ham (unlikely), Leeds, Nottm Forest, Leicester and Everton.
67 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle A double change for Newcastle: Dan Burn and Jacob Murphy replace Matt Targett and Miguel Almiron.
67 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth A change for Bournemouth, Zabarnyi for Senesi.
Look, this is no time for first names. (Illia and Marcos.)
64 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle “I have to say, proud of Pickford for rolling Longstaff off the pitch after he rolled back on the pitch to play injured,” says Justin Madson. “The copious amount of time wasting (even when the game was 0-0) of Newcastle makes the game hard to watch. Not the first game where this has made the game less watchable.”
63 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle Callun Wilson shoots wide from distance. It feels like this game is building to something, either an Everton comeback or a mass brawl.
Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth
“It’s strange, watching Southampton-Bournemouth, to think that one of these two will probably be relegated,” says Kári Tulinius. “They’re both decent sides, and when I think back to some of the absolutely dreadful teams of years past that have stayed up, it seems unfair. Usually there have been four or five godawful sides in the league, but there isn’t one this year, not even Chelsea.”
If the season went on until February 2024, they’d be in all sorts of trouble.
60 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle Longstff stays down in the Everton area after a challenge from Keane I think. Pickford thinks he’s timewasting and tries to shove him off the pitch. Then there’s a VAR check for a penalty for the original challenge.
Nothing comes of it, but then Longstaff goes down again and it briefly threatens to kick off. He was caught on the ankle, though I’ve no idea whether he’s making a meal of it or not.
61 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth Southampton, who have been outplayed in the second half, bring on Che Adams and Stuart Armstrong for Theo Walcott and Mohamed Elyounoussi.
Half time: Spurs 0-2 Man Utd
Jadon Sancho and Marcus Rashford have put Manchester United in control in north London.
59 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth Christie’s cross hits the outstretched arm of Bednarek in the area, prompting huge and unsuccessful appeals for a penalty. A few months ago they were being given by VAR; not any more.
GOAL! Spurs 0-2 Man Utd (Rashford 44)
Marcus Rashford doubles Man Utd’s lead with an emphatic finish. If only there was a red button that could allow us to listen to Harry Kane’s internal monologue for the next few minutes.
56 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth Billing’s shot deflects over the bar At the moment it’s all Bournemouth.
52 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle I forgot to say that Trippier came out after half-time and looks okay. Meanwhile, Nick Pope has just made a good save, flying to his right to repel Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s shot on the run.
Matt Targett was booked for attempting to foul Alex Iwobi in the build up to that half chance.
53 min: Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth As things stand Bournemouth are seven points clear of the relegation places, and Southampton are going down.
“Thanks to an outrageously kind friend, Master Dony is looking forward to his first trip to Anfield on Sunday,” says Matt Dony. “Yes, yes, I know, top four is a bit of a pipe dream, but an Everton win tonight is good for the city of Liverpool, and good for Liverpool’s (vanishingly small) Champions League prospects. Anything that can add to Sunday’s excitement is welcome.
“And on that note, the football community can be brilliant. I’m so appreciative that a friend wants my son to enjoy the experience. That football fans can pull together to look after the next generation. And, I’m sure the exposure on here will lead to extra donations to Travis. (Although, cats are inherently better. Come at me.) There can be a lot of toxicity in football. It’s important to remember the wonderful things as well.”
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Bournemouth (Tavernier 50)
Marcus Tavernier has given Bournemouth the lead! I’ve no idea how he squeezed that in to the far corner. He cut inside from the left, shaped to shoot a couple of times and then hit a low shot that took a crucial deflection and veered beyond the reach of McCarthy.
Updated
49 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Lloyd Kelly is lucky not to be booked for a studs-up challenge on Theo Walcott.
46 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle James Tarkowski makes a goal-saving block to deny Joe Willock in the first minute of the second half! Willock stumbled through a couple of challenges in the area and hammered that beat Pickford and was deflected behind by Tarkowski in the six-yard box.
46 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle And they’re back on at Goodison too.
46 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth The second half is under way at St Mary’s, where James Ward-Prowse has gone off at half-time. That must be an injury. He’s been replaced by Lyanco.
Half-time reading
Updated
The as-it-stands Premier League table
(Man Utd are 1-0 up at Spurs after about 20 minutes. You can follow that one with Barry Glendenning.)
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arsenal | 33 | 40 | 75 |
| 2 | Man City | 31 | 53 | 73 |
| 3 | Newcastle | 32 | 30 | 62 |
| 4 | Man Utd | 31 | 10 | 62 |
| 5 | Aston Villa | 33 | 5 | 54 |
| 6 | Liverpool | 32 | 22 | 53 |
| 7 | Tottenham Hotspur | 33 | 6 | 53 |
| 8 | Brighton | 30 | 15 | 49 |
| 9 | Brentford | 33 | 7 | 47 |
| 10 | Fulham | 32 | 1 | 45 |
| 11 | Chelsea | 32 | -5 | 39 |
| 12 | Crystal Palace | 33 | -11 | 37 |
| 13 | Wolverhampton | 33 | -15 | 37 |
| 14 | West Ham | 32 | -9 | 34 |
| 15 | AFC Bournemouth | 33 | -32 | 34 |
| 16 | Leeds | 33 | -21 | 30 |
| 17 | Nottm Forest | 33 | -31 | 30 |
| 18 | Leicester | 33 | -13 | 29 |
| 19 | Everton | 33 | -23 | 28 |
| 20 | Southampton | 33 | -29 | 25 |
Half time: Everton 0-1 Newcastle
Newcastle withstood the expected fast start and then took the lead through a sniffer’s goal from Callum Wilson. Everton haven’t played badly. But even with Dominic Calvert-Lewin back, goalscoring remains a huge problem.
Half time: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth
It’s been a decent game, with good chances for both sides and a very tight disallowed goal for Bournemouth. But it’s goalless, and that won’t do for Southampton.
Updated
No goal! Everton 0-1 Newcastle
Calvert-Lewin’s left shoulder was offside. The margins are scarily thin.
Updated
Disallowed goal! Everton 0-1 Newcastle (Calvert-Lewin 45+3)
Calvert-Lewin is played through by McNeil and flips the ball nonchalantly over Nick Pope. The flag goes up as soon as the ball hits the net – but this is tight and it’s been checked by VAR. Sven Botman could be playing him on.
Updated
“Chapeau to Charlie Robinson, who clearly didn’t get the memo that says fans either end of the A52 can only wish each other ill,” says Jonathan Wood. “As Bill Bryson says, being English means having an irrational hatred of people from a town very similar to your own 20 miles away. I now officially want Derby to get back to the Championship through the play offs.”
Lovely sentiments, but come on: which team do you detest support?
Updated
45 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle Keane gets away from his marker ahead of the near post but can’t steer a low corner on target. It was a pretty tough chance. Trippier is back on but he can’t run. I suppose he might as well wait and see what the physio’s creamy, healing hands can do at half-time.
Updated
45 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth There’s an appeal for a penalty when Ainsley Maitland-Niles accidentally heads the ball against his hand in the Southampton area. No penalty because he touched it onto his own hand.
44 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle Kieran Trippier is limping heavily. He’s a tough old twist but he’s struggling here. Meanwhile, here’s the opening goal from Callum Wilson.
Callum Wilson pounces and Newcastle strike first at Goodison Park 🫡 pic.twitter.com/MVXeMQIGvA
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 27, 2023
41 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle Onana is booked for something or other*. Look, I was checking on Travis’s charity appeal, okay! (Thanks so much to all of you who have donated.)
* I’ve just seen the replay, it was a tactial foul on Guimaraes.
GOAL! Tottenham 0-1 Man Utd (Sancho 7)
A great start for Man Utd in north London. I’ve no idea how the goal came about, but I know a man who does.
38 min: Everton 0-1 Newcastle These are dangerous times for Everton, with Newcastle pressing for a second.
36 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth A tearful Romain Perraud limps off to be replaced by Ainsley Maitland-Niles. I’m not sure what happened because I was watching replays of Callum Wilson boggling up that chance for Newcastle – he doesn’t seem to be in serious pain, but he is obviously distresssed so maybe he has pulled something and fears his season is over.
Maitland-Niles has gone to right-back, with Kyle Walker-Peters moving to the left.
Updated
Everton 0-1 Newcastle
“Absolutely mind-gobbling how Wilson managed to ‘boggle up the rebound’,” says Tim Booth.
Heh, very good. I can promise you I’ve been guilty of worse typos, mainly invite the cut stroke in cricket.
Everton 0-1 Newcastle
“Is this a mus-win for Everton?” says Mary Waltz. “As far as the math, no. They could technically lose and still avoid relegation. And technically the Reform party could win the next UK general election but I wouldn’t place a bet on it.”
I think they can stay up if they lose tonight, but Leicester away on Monday then becomes the mother, father and extended family of all musn’t-lose games.
Match report: Barcelona 1-1 Chelsea (agg: 2-1)
Here’s Sid Lowe’s verdict from the Camp Nou, where Barcelona held off Chelsea to reach another Champions League final.
Kick off: Tottenham v Man Utd
Join ‘Big’ Barry Glendenning for live updates from the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
Everton 0-1 Newcastle “I haven’t been able to catch an Everton match since Calvert-Lewin got healthy,” says Justin Madson. “It’s impressive how much he brings a new dynamic to the team. When the midfield gets hold of the ball, they actually have an outlet up front as opposed to sideways or backwards, and he has done very well to get that extra touch that allows them to keep possession. Impressive forward play from him so far.”
I feel a bit dirty saying this, but you can make a very fine XI from players who might be relegated in the next month. Southampton alone have three or four who will be coveted by Champions League clubs if they go down.
GOAL! Everton 0-1 Newcastle (Wilson 28)
Trouble for Everton. They’ve started well but now they are behind. Joelinton made the goal with a terrific run and fierce shot that was pushed away to his left by Pickford. It hit Tarkowski, who could do nothing, and Callum Wilson reacted superbly to boggle up the rebound.
Updated
26 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Dominic Solanke lends the ball to Ryan Christie in the area, then takes it off him and drives just over the bar with his left foot. He’s looking really dangerous.
25 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Everton’s urgency is causing Newcastle a few problems. After another little scramble, Calvert-Lewin’s shot spins behind.
21 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle A fierce, wobbling shot from McNeil is too straight and comfortably saved by Pope.
21 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth “It’s a rattling good game,” says the commentator Paul Dempsey on Sky, and the weather is certainly contributing. The rain is biblical.
20 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle While I was squinting at that Solanke offside, Calvert-Lewin almost had a chance when he chopped inside the last man Schar in the area. Schar did well to get himself between Calvert-Lewin and the ball.
No goal! Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth I’d like to see that again. The suggestion is that Solanke’s head and shoulders were offside.
Updated
Solanke was put through on goal, with McCarthy making a fine save to deny him. The ball rebounded to Vina, who finished emphatically from the edge of the area.
Disallowed goal! Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Matias Vina finishes superbly from the edge of the rea, but it’s ruled out for an offside against Solanke. Hang on, I think this will overturned by VAR…
“The title is in Manchester City’s hands right now, so the relegation battle is where the real interest lies,” writes Charlie Robinson. “Even though I’m a Derby County supporter, I was delighted to see Forest win last night, and I’ll tell you why. Yes, it is partly because my dad and one of my best friends are Forest fans, but also because the Premier League needs more provincial (and Midlands) clubs like Forest and Leicester in it.
“Furthermore, it’s fun to see supposedly big clubs in the mix. Sorry to Everton and Leeds fans, but this is just how things are. Ideally, Chelsea would get dragged into this relegation fight. Am I bitter and jealous? Yes! Of course! Am I sad and lonely? Next question!”
13 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth After a bit of a scramble in the Bournemouth area, Adam Armstrong slaps a shot from a tight angle that hits the outside of the post and goes behind. Neto might have got a touch with his legs, I’m not sure.
Updated
12 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Gueye won the free-kick; Gueye wastes the free-kick by curling it a few yards over the bar.
11 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Idrissa Gueye is fouled right on the edge of the D by Sean Longstaff. I forgot to say: because it’s not Saturday 3pm, I can actually watch the games tonight!
9 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Marcus Tavernier has a close-range shot blocked after a good Bournemouth break. The conditions – it’s John Cusack weather – are making things interesting.
6 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Alex McCarthy, starting his first league game of the season tonight, slips on the wet pitch while controlling a backpass and is almost robbed by Dominic Solanke. ‘Almost’ being the operative word: he got away with it.
5 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Nothing much to report, though Everton have started with intent. Iwobi’s cross just evades the flying Calvert-Lewin, who is slyly eased away from the ball by Trippier. Brilliant defending.
“Good morning Rob...” writes our resident Australian Newcastle fan, Chris Paraskevas. “4.45am kick-offs offer the chance to really ‘seize the day’ as my old English teacher used to repeat constantly (having never been subjected to one of our non-performances at Goodison over the years). Usually a difficult trip for us. Goodison still an old school ground. Seems like only yesterday that Tim Cahill was playing for them... and Florian Lejeune was equalising for us.”
This was the first game that came to my mind, a famous win for the dogs of war. For some reason I thought Duncan Ferguson had scored the goal.
3 min: Southampton 0-0 Bournemouth Neto makes a decent early save to his left from Theo Walcott, though I think Walcott was slightly offside. After last night, who knows.
Peep peep! Two vital Premier League games are under way.
Everton v Newcastle A note on the Newcastle team: Dan Burn has been unwell, which is why he’s only on the bench.
Here come the players. The noise at Goodison is spectacular, as is the rain at St Mary’s.
Charity appeal
Now, to more important matters than a Premier League relegation battle. A local animal shelter, Happy Landings, does wonderful work looking after cats and dogs in particular. One new resident - a charming and affectionate, if not always fragrant pug called Travis – wasn’t in a good way when he arrived and needs urgent surgery before he can be rehomed.
The appeal for his medical costs was met in just over a day but all donations help so much with day-to-day necessities, never mind future operations. And just imagine how much Travis would grunt with happiness if he knew he was a minor internet celebrity.
If you’d like to donate, or just look at pictures of Travis and the other dogs, here’s the link. Roy Keane would be proud of you.
Full time: Barcelona 1-1 Chelsea (agg: 2-1)
Barcelona will play Wolfsburg or Arsenal in the Women’s Champions League final on 3 June after a tense semi-final second leg at the Camp Nou. It’s an honourable defeat for Chelsea, who gave everything and were very good in the second half, but ultimately the tie was decided on Saturday at Stamford Bridge.
“I might have emailed this for a previous Everton game,” says Matt Burtz, “but here goes again: this game isn’t must- win, but it’s about as close as it gets. Considering they only have two games at Goodison after tonight, and one is against the Death Star that is Manchester City, a loss here would be, shall we say, less than ideal.”
The last game of the season, Bournemouth at home, already has Wimbledon 1994/Coventry 1998/Palace 2022 vibes.
WCL: Barcelona 1-1 Chelsea (agg: 2-1)
Five minutes plus added time to go at the Camp Nou, where Chelsea are pushing for the goal that would take the tie to extra-time. Follow it with Sarah Rendell.
Goodison Park in April
Everton fans setting the mood 🔥 pic.twitter.com/FDvvFGG0hC
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) April 27, 2023
Everton v Newcastle
“Hi Rob,” says Gary Naylor. “It’s traditional to describe this as the first of six cup finals for Everton but, like so many of the accepted assertions of football, that’s not true. Lose a cup final and you rock up next season back in the game. Lose tonight and that hope becomes more and more moot. I’m not panicking... yet.”
GOAL! Barcelona 1-1 Chelsea (agg: 2-1: Reiten 67)
Ahem! Chelsea are back in tie thanks to Guro Reiten, who slammed the ball into the net after Sandra Panos made a terrific save from Sam Kerr.
Southampton v Bournemouth
This piece is out of date now but it’s an interesting read about the history of local rivalry – or lack thereof – between Southampton and Bournemouth.
GOAL! Barcelona 1-0 Chelsea (agg: 2-0; Hansen 63)
It looks like Chelsea are on their way out of the Champions League. Caroline Graham Hansen, who scored the only goal at Stamford Bridge, has punished them on the break at the Camp Nou.
What's at stake tonight
Everton are 19th despite performing reasonably well under Sean Dyche. (In the form table since Dyche took over, Everton are 15th and Chelsea are in bottom three.) The last home game, a 3-1 loss to Fulham, was a sickener and they really can’t afford another defeat ahead of an even bigger game at Leicester or Monday.
Should they produce one of those great Goodison Thursday nights and beat Newcastle, they will jump to 16th. Snakes and Ladders has got nothing on this thing of ours.
Newcastle are still high on a pure hit of popular modern drug Lads, It’s Tottenham at the weekend. A win at Goodison would move them eight points clear of fifth-placed Villa, having played a game more, and nine clear of Liverpool in sixth.
They are in great form, with six wins in seven, but were overrun at Villa Park in their last away game. On nights like this at Goodison Park, maximum effort is the minimum requirement for both teams.
Southampton are adrift of the rest – four points behind Everton, six from safety. But they played so well at the Emirates on Friday that a great escape is not beyond the realms. If they win tonight they will be only three points behind Nottm Forest (who they play a week on Monday) and Leeds, the teams currently in 16th and 17th.
Bournemouth looked almost safe after their spectacular win at Tottenham 12 days ago, but they were surprisingly pummelled by West Ham at the weekend and have two vital games coming up: Southampton tonight, Leeds at home on Sunday. Win either and they should be fine; lose both and we’ll all be reaching for the Silvio Dante memes.
Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester United
There’s another Premier League game tonight, involving two of the less predictable teams in the top half of the Premier League. Barry Glendenning will keep you abreast of developments, farcical or otherwise.
Southampton v Bournemouth team news
Ruben Selles makes two changes from the Southampton side that started at the Emirates. Duje Caleta-Car is in for the (presumably) injured Armel Bella-Kotchap; the experienced. Alex McCarthy is preferred to Gavin Bazunu in goal. That’s an interesting call.
Gary O’Neil also makes two changes from the team that lost to West Ham. Marcos Senesi and Matias Vina replace Jack Stephens (ineligible) and Adam Smith.
Southampton (possible 4-2-2-2) McCarthy; Walker-Peters, Bednarek, Caleta-Car, Perraud; Ward-Peters, Lavia; Elyounoussi, A Armstrong; Walcott, Alcaraz.
Substitutes: Bazunu, Lyanco, Maitland-Niles, Aribo, S Armstrong, Djenepo, Sulemana, Adams, Mara.
Bournemouth (possible 3-4-2-1) Neto; Senesi, Mepham, Kelly; Tavernier, Rothwell, Lerma, Vina; Christie, Billing; Solanke.
Substitutes: Travers, Smith, Zabarnyi, Cook, Brooks, Ouattara, Moore, Semenya, Anthony.
Updated
Everton v Newcastle team news
Both managers have made three changes, surprisingly so in Eddie Howe’s case. Everton bring in Ben Godfrey, Amadou Onana and Abdoulaye Doucoure – the last two were unavailable at Selhurst Park on Saturday – for Mason Holgate, who is suspended, James Garner and Demarai Gray.
Jacob Murphy and Alexander Isak, who scored two each when Newcastle humiliated Spurs on Sunday, are roatated along with Dan Burn; in come Miguel Almiron, Callum Wilson and Matt Targett.
Everton (possible 4-3-3) Pickford; Godfrey, Keane, Tarkowski, Mykolenko; Doucoure, Gueye, Onana; Iwobi, Calvert-Lewin, McNeil.
Substitutes: Begovic, Patterson, Mina, Coady, Davies, Garner, Gray, Maupay, Simms.
Newcastle (4-3-3) Pope; Trippier, Schar, Botman, Targett; Longstaff, Guimaraes, Willock; Almiron, Wilson, Joelinton.
Substitutes: Dubravka, Lascelles, Manquillo, Burn, Ritchie, Murphy, Anderson, Gordon, Isak.
Referee Andre Marriner.
The Premier League table
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arsenal | 33 | 40 | 75 |
| 2 | Man City | 31 | 53 | 73 |
| 3 | Newcastle | 31 | 29 | 59 |
| 4 | Man Utd | 30 | 9 | 59 |
| 5 | Aston Villa | 33 | 5 | 54 |
| 6 | Liverpool | 32 | 22 | 53 |
| 7 | Tottenham Hotspur | 32 | 7 | 53 |
| 8 | Brighton | 30 | 15 | 49 |
| 9 | Brentford | 33 | 7 | 47 |
| 10 | Fulham | 32 | 1 | 45 |
| 11 | Chelsea | 32 | -5 | 39 |
| 12 | Crystal Palace | 33 | -11 | 37 |
| 13 | Wolverhampton | 33 | -15 | 37 |
| 14 | West Ham | 32 | -9 | 34 |
| 15 | AFC Bournemouth | 32 | -32 | 33 |
| 16 | Leeds | 33 | -21 | 30 |
| 17 | Nottm Forest | 33 | -31 | 30 |
| 18 | Leicester | 33 | -13 | 29 |
| 19 | Everton | 32 | -22 | 28 |
| 20 | Southampton | 32 | -29 | 24 |
WCL: Barcelona 0-0 Chelsea (agg: 1-0)
It’s half time at the Camp Nou, where things are going okay for Chelsea in their Champions League semi-final. Barcelona have been the better team, as they were at Stamford Bridge, but Chelsea have defended well and they are still right in the tie.
You can follow the second half, and maybe extra time, with Sarah Rendell.
Preamble
The title race is over*, the top four are set in stone*, but there isn’t an algorithm in the world – never mind a humble human being – that can predict with certainty which three teams will be relegated from the Premier League.
Wolves and Crystal Palace have extricated themselves from the malodorous stuff*, so seven clubs remain in the battle for survival. Three of them are in action tonight, along with one of the teams we have prematurely awarded a Champions League place.
The two matches, possible to overhype but still pretty darn huge, are Everton v Newcastle and Southampton v Bournemouth. Buckle up, buttercup.
Kick off 7.45pm in both games
*Probably
