On what was missing from our Paul Keating Sledge-O-Meter
Former foreign minister Gareth Evans writes: You missed a few PJK classics, as I recorded in this paragraph extracted from my book, Incorrigible Optimist: A Political Memoir. I think you’ll agree that the last on my list has a particular claim to immortality.
“Even some of his cruellest lines had a certain wit and elegance about them. Think of his description of Malcolm Fraser in 1982 as an ‘Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades’; or his response to Andrew Peacock returning as Liberal leader in 1989, ‘Can a soufflé rise twice?’; or his ‘Because I want to do you slowly’ response to John Hewson asking him in 1992 why he would not call an early election; or his dazzling extended riff responding to John Howard’s claim that the 1950s was a golden age, suggesting that Howard’s, and Hewson’s, proper place was in a museum alongside the other icons of that age ‘the Morphy Richards toaster, the Qualcast mower… and the AWA radiogram’.
In a line which, sadly, does not seem to have made its way onto the public record, I remember Paul also once describing, I think, John Howard — although it could have been any of a number of other Tories — as having “all the charm of a used suppository”.
He has been, and will remain, a hard act to follow.
Linda Mottram writes: Another that Keating lobbed at Howard during the 1996 election campaign: “Soon he’ll be offering us a free set of steak knives.”
Hector Cat writes: On a rehashed opposition policy: “Like a dog returning to its vomit.”
PJ writes: Question Time and in response to opposition leader Alexander Downer raising suspicions over the Prime Minister’s purchase of an expensive property in Woollahra. “The opposition leader believes only people born in large houses should live in them.” Boom.
Stephen Graves writes: One great Keating quote, though not a sledge, was said to John Button after a cabinet meeting that focused on major changes to the economy. Button confessed to being somewhat daunted by it all and Keating said, “Look, John, we’ve scrambled the big egg and we’ve just got to get it on the plate.” Brilliant.
John Robinson writes: “Unrepresentative swill…” should be on the list.
Mark Freeman writes: Desiccated coconut is priceless. It’s both nonsensical (desiccated coconut is little pieces) but totally right for a little coconut head like Howard. I still call Howard by that name.
On Scott Morrison painting himself as the victim in the Brittany Higgins ordeal
Linda Raymond writes: Surely the use of Scott Morrison as a witness for the Reynolds defamation case against Higgins is the exemplar of an own goal? Every word he utters — right down to the most minor parts of speech — requires detailed fact-checking. Unless the defence counsel is so overwhelmed by having to cross-examine an ex-prime minister that they descend into a meaningless soft-pedal, it will be a popcorn moment in Australia’s legal history.
As for Reynolds, pleading the victim not only reveals her complete lack of insight and compassion, but also underlines why she was a “valued minister” in the Coalition government. Hubris, ego and dog-eat-dog ethics are the hallmarks of their policies and the individuals themselves.
What a thoroughly stupid, money- and time-wasting exercise Reynolds has undertaken. I hope both she and Morrison get the public pasting they both deserve.
Bill Robinson writes: It never ends, does it? Morrison making himself the martyr in doing God’s work.
His legacy is a litany of lies, misrepresentations, self-pity, delusional beliefs and the complete inability to self-examine. He leaves behind a trail of wreckage and is possibly the main cause of the current disenchantment of the populace with politicians.
Margaret Callinan writes: How sick am I of Scott Morrison’s sob stories? Let’s put it this way: there’s been recent talk of possible jail time for public servants over robodebt. From all that’s come to light it seems that would be appropriate in some cases, but if a single public servant is jailed before Morrison, an injustice as big as robotdebt will have been committed.
The competition is fierce but, for me, Morrison is the most disgusting person Australia has had as Prime Minister, causing harm everywhere he went and to everything he touched … from Robodebt, to AUKUS, to coal in Parliament, to telling women they should be thankful not to be shot when they marched in the streets. How long a list did you want?
The ego, the narcissism, the barefaced lying, the hypocrisy, the self pity… I never want to hear from him, or of him, ever again!
