It's Eurovision time again and as much as we love it, boy is it long. This drinking game will keep you giggly enough to watch the full 572 hours and still appreciate the sparkly outfits. Here are the rules.
This year the 67th Eurovision Song Contest is taking place in Liverpool as the UK is hosting on behalf of 2022's winners Ukraine. Qualifying acts from the semi-finals will join the ‘Big Five’ countries France, Germany, Spain, United Kingdom and Ukraine - who are also guaranteed a place in the final due to their victory in 2022.
It starts at 8pm on BBC1 and lasts.... a very long time. Here are the rules.
Read more: Eurovision live updates as UK hosts grand final of the 2023 song contest
1. Graham Norton makes a sarcastic remark - Drink one finger
More than one finger for this would just be cruel. Nobody can withstand downing vodka every time Graham manages to harness the power of the entire cast of Gogglebox at once.
2. The UK gets nul points - Drink one finger
Yep, every time a country votes for anyone but us, drink one finger. This one should keep you nice and giggly for the entirety of voting.
3. The UK actually gets some points - Two shots
It hasn't always happened often in the past, so two shots isn't too cruel.
4. A country opts for a 'wacky' entry - Take a shot
You know the ones I'm on about. The outfits are bright and they're funny in an early YouTube sort of way.
5. It's a ballad - Drink three fingers
When it's all a bit serious and sad, drink three fingers.
6. Outfit straight out of The Hunger Games - Take a shot
When a voter or contestant rocks up looking like an extra from the Capitol, down the tequila.
7. Awkward technical issue - Take a shot
When a presenter asks a question only to be met with excruciating silence and dead-eyed smiling from someone in another country, take a shot. If a mic doesn't work or they play the wrong clip, that's a shot too.
8. An act waves a flag - Drink two fingers
This could happen many times, and that's the point.
9. A dramatic key change - Take a shot
Who doesn't love a dramatic key change? Certainly not Eurovision judges.
10. Someone sings a note so high only dogs can hear - Two shots
When the dog starts howling, it's time.
11. A bum note - Three fingers
We know this is all part of the perils of live television, and yet we feel the need to hug the poor singer through the screen. That is however physically impossible, so tweet some support and drink away the pain. In the case a song is all bum notes, perhaps just finish the drink.
12. UK comes last - Down your drink
It's happened before, and we are extremely hopeful it won't happen this year to Mae Muller, but if the worse comes to the worse then scoff some bread to line your stomach or conveniently have a tiny bit left in your glass when it inevitably comes to it.
Read next:
I was at the Eurovision 2023 Grand Final dress rehearsal and everyone will be blown away by it
Eurovision 2023 UK entry: Who wrote Mae Muller's I Wrote a Song track?
All the Welsh Eurovision acts ever and the one that actually won
The 40 items banned from the Eurovision Song Contest
Eurovision presenters Rylan and Scott Mills rescued by emergency services
