It is that time of year again to dig out the glitter and the glamorous outfits because Eurovision is finally upon us.
The Eurovision song contest will be held in Turin, Italy, after last year's Italian winners, Måneskin, rocked their way to victory with a sex charged tune.
The event will be broadcast on BBC One from 8:00pm until midnight and viewers will be able to look forward to the usual quips from Graham Norton as they indulge in the Euro madness.
Viewers can also watch live or catch up on the show at a later date on BBC iPlayer.
Sam Ryder, who is representing the UK is quite fancied this year, his song Space Man is actually quite good and the bookies have him second favourite.
However Ukrainian act, Kalush Orchestra, are odds on favourites with all the bookmakers due to a combination of having a great song in Stefania and the country being invaded by Vladimir Putin’s Russia.
To get you in the mood we have constructed a review of each act ahead of the final so that you know what to look out for.
There are 25 acts in total after 16 hopefuls were eliminated during the semi-finals on Tuesday and Thursday.
The order of the reviews will run in the order that the acts are due to appear on the night.
So get that face paint out, your themed costume ready and the cocktails in the mixer…it is about to get REAL!
Czech Republic:
We Are Domi – Lights Off
The trio apparently studied music together in Leeds and lived for a short time in London before moving to the Czech Republic shortly before lockdown kicked in. They therefore had plenty of time to create some music and thus Lights Off was born.
It is a sort of summer vibes style tune. Not much to it really bar the lights show that accompanies it. Something a 16-year-old would enjoy but no substance really to the song.
5/10
Romania:
WRS – Llámame
The song has a decent drop but the lad has the talent of a Butlins performer. It actually gets worse the more you listen to it and the performer's only redeeming quality is that he looks a bit like Johnny Depp.
3/10
Portugal:
Saudade, Saudade
The lead singer has a unique voice and the whole performance is very mesmerising and individualistic. It has a great shot to finish in the top ten.
One of those songs that is very good and you’d love to listen to on a Sunday as the rain batters your window but just not a Eurovision winner.
6/10
Finland:
The Rasmus – Jezebel
There are a lot of rock entries following in the footsteps of last years winners. But the Rasmus are a bit disappointing. The lead singer and rest of the band look as though they can’t let go of their teen gig days.
Terrible chorus and forgetful.
4/10
Switzerland:
Marius Bear – Boys Do Cry
Marius is sort of a sad looking and sounding George Ezra. He has a decent voice but I just feel Europe needs a bit of light after the last few years and this is far from it.
The song is essentially about getting bullied and is just a bit depressing.
4/10
France:
Alvan & Ahez – Fulenn
So not going to lie, this is one of my favourites. It is banging. The song is sung in an old school French regional dialect and gives off proper Celtic/Pagan vibes.
It would be bouncing in some underground French club where everyone is too cool to speak to one another and all the men are wearing eyeliner. It is my dark horse.
8/10
Norway
Subwoolfer – Give That Wolf A Banana
This is an absolute classic. This is why we sit down to watch Eurovision every year. They have a proper Lonely Island feel. It is just so weird but l loved it. Great entry.
The judges might hate it but the public vote will rate so highly. The dance and chorus is properly infectious and fan favourite from last year, Tix, is allegedly the astronaut DJ which is class.
8/10
Armenia
Rosa Linn – Snap
Rosa Linn is exceptional and this song would do very well in the charts. It sounds very familiar due to Rosa’s professional performance.
It is something a teenage girl would love as it is quite catchy and can be uplifting in parts. Strong effort.
7/10
Italy:
Mahmood & Blanco – Brividi
There is more autotune than a T-Pain track. How it is third favourite is anyone's guess but probably riding on the coat tails of last year.
There is a nice LGBTQ+ theme which is its only redeemable quality really.
4/10
Spain:
Chanel – SloMo
Sounds like something the basic b*****s in high school would listen to. Just a J-Lo wanna be.
The chorus sounds like she is calling for a pint in Moe's Tavern.
2/10
Netherlands:
S10 – De Diepte
This is a really good song with a strong melody and voice to boot.
Although I fear that again it is too depressing when the world is falling apart. A decent love song.
6/10
Ukraine:
Kalush Orchestra – Stefania
Now some people may feel Ukraine are only favourites due to the War that is sadly raging on within their borders but that is not the case.
The instrumentals sound a bit like last year's entry which was amazing. The rapping is a good change of pace from the chorus which has a lovely wee wind flute class.
It is going to win for a reason.
9/10
Germany:
Malik Harris – Rockstars
Anything is an improvement on last year. Guy has a nice voice but feels like a talent show entry.
Feel of a one hit wonder at Christmas that gets beaten by Rage Against the Machine in the end. The Germans aren't very good at this Eurovision thing.
4/10
Lithuania:
Monika Liu – Sentimentai
I liked it. It is not a Eurovision winner but one you could enjoy in the bath with a glass of Merlot.
It is a bit quirky and indie but lacks a proper hook.
6/10
Azerbaijan:
Nadir Rustamli – Fade To Black
It starts off like a Disney song but not like the main track - a bit like Waiting On a Miracle in Encanto.
The singer is the type of person that would get put in a group on X Factor cause he's a bit budget solo.
4/10
Belgium:
Jérémie Makiese – Miss You
He has been let down here by the song as he has a great voice. There is a decent wee bop to it.
I feel if the song was a bit better then he would have a strong chance as he has great range in his voice.
6/10
Greece:
Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord – Die Together
I’m pretty sure this performer is training to be a doctor in Norway so kudos. It grew on me to be honest but I needed three or four listens before it finally hit.
May squeeze into the top ten.
6/10
Iceland:
Systur – Með Hækkandi Sól
Poor Iceland will never be able to escape the Story of Fire Saga and Ja Ja Ding Dong. But they are really enjoyable.
A quintessential country tune but sung in native Icelandic. The female trio come with some uninventive dance moves but it is all very chill and wholesome.
7/10
Moldova:
Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers – Trenulețul
This is a folk song about a new train line that opened between Chisinau and Bucharest and it is absolutely superb. Like genuinely just such a happy and fun performance.
It is kooky and mad and so enjoyable. Proper country feel. It looks like they just discovered Cotton Eyed Joe in Moldova.
6/10
Sweden:
Cornelia Jakobs – Hold Me Closer
Now I will probably be wrong here cause everyone seems to love it but I don’t get it. She looks like an Aldi middle aisle Danny Minogue.
Sweden has pedigree but the song doesn't really fit the tune. Swedes let themselves down here.
4/10
Australia:
Sheldon Riley – Not The Same
A Swarovski advert in human form and looks a bit like Deontay Wilder during his ring walk vs Fury during the second fight.
Good voice and range but a bit of an art student entry.
6/10
UK:
Sam Ryder – SPACE MAN
Our best entry in years. Sam is somewhat of a TikTok superstar so we may do well for once in the audience vote.
A real, real chance to finish in the top five as it is second favourite - even though it sounds like a John Lewis advert.
6/10
Poland:
Ochman – River
A good singer live but a bit of a poundland Sam Smith. There are a million artists just like this across Europe.
Would say he would win the local talent show at your high school but not Eurovision.
5/10
Serbia:
Konstrakta – In Corpore Sano
A song about Meghan Markle's hair - what is not to like. It is quite funny and will troll Piers Morgan so a win for.
It is not the most popular and is alternative for sure but I like it for its Eurovision quirk.
7/10
Estonia:
Stefan – Hope
It is a fun performance and American Western themed. Got a good tempo to it but lets itself down with a poor chorus.
You expect more after the start but it doesn’t really go anywhere.
5/10
Let us know who you think will win the competition this year and who your favourite acts are in advance or on the night in the comment section.
We hope you all enjoy the madness that is Eurovision 2022 and look out for 00’s sensation Mika who will be joint hosting the show.
