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Edinburgh Live
Edinburgh Live
Alexander Smail

'Entitled' mum faces backlash for her expectation when it comes to first dates

A woman has been called "entitled" after revealing she "prefers a man to pay on the first date".

Taking to parenting forum Mumsnet, she asked if it was "unreasonable" to expect a man to pay for a first date. She explained it "shows they are not stingy" and "have a genuine interest".

The woman added that it was "security" and "would work both ways". She also said she was "not asking if men should or are obligated".

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She posted: "I am a woman. I barely go in first dates. When I do I always offer to split and my offer is genuine, and I become prepared to split but I always prefer they pay for the first date and then I grab the second.

"The main reasons for this is that is shows they are not stingy, have a genuine interest in me, and in the future if we became a couple it would signal that they would be willing to help me out should I ever become jobless instead of seeing finances as completely separate.

"This is security I need from a relationship and it would work both ways.

"Do you prefer a man to pay on the first date? I am not asking if men should or are obligated, only what your preference is."

The post has since received dozens of replies from fellow Mumsnet users. Members disagreed about whether the woman was being "unreasonable".

One said: "I hate the idea that someone else is funding me. A stranger at that. A partner supporting you is entirely different to a man paying for my company or to try to impress me."

A second commented: "You are being unreasonable. I mean he could give all the same reasons for wanting you to pay, couldn't he?"

A third echoed: "Wanting someone to pay because you might want them to bankroll you eventually is weird. It makes you seem grabby and entitled."

A fourth agreed: "You are being unreasonable. There might not be a second date and that'd be unfair."

Another stated: "Your attitude would be a red flag to me. Why would you not pay for yourself while out with a stranger? He might not want a second date."

However, others "agreed" with the woman, with one posting: "I don’t care, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting him to pay, long as you pick it up next time."

A second commented: "I agree with you. Normally it costs the woman more to meet (from clothes to babysitting, we also earn far less by doing the same job as a man) going halves on first date just support this crazy model."

A third argued: "I’m happily married but if I were dating I wouldn’t pay on a first date. If he didn’t offer to pay then we aren’t a good match as we don’t share the same traditional values."

A fourth said: "I do the same as you. Not the man paying first part particularly, but the taking it in turns, so that you both get to feel a bit treated."

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