Match report
That’s all folks.
This Test is finely poised with two days to go. England are 80 runs behind New Zealand with five wickets in hand. Joe Root is at the crease on 163*. Of course he is.
Thanks for all your emails and tweets, that was fun! We’ll be back in the morning to OBO day four.
Have a good evening, goodbye.
A brilliant day with the bat!
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) June 12, 2022
We finish day three on 473-5.
Scorecard & Videos: https://t.co/GJPwJC59J7
🏴 #ENGvNZ 🇳🇿 pic.twitter.com/g1V3OAo1zy
STUMPS: England 473 -5 (Root 163, Foakes 24)
Boult serves up a wide full toss off the first ball that Root toe ends through the covers for four. He won’t miss out on that. He then pulls Boult from in front of his eyes to the sweeper on the leg-side and trots down to the non-strikers end. Foakes sees out the rest of the over and that is the end of the day. An absorbing day of Test cricket. 383 runs and 4 wickets. Joe Root walks off the field to a rapturous Trent Bridge.
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113th over: England 468-5 (Root 158, Foakes 24) Matt Henry rushes through his over in an attempt to squeeze one more in, and it works. A maiden to Foakes will see Root face Boult in the last over of the day.
112th over: England 468-5 (Root 158, Foakes 24) Boult sends down another maiden.
111th over: England 468-5 (Root 158, Foakes 24) Shot! Foakes plays a bootiful cover drive off the returning Matt Henry. The Kiwi then bustles in and bowls a pearler that beats Foakes’ forward prod. We’ve got about 5 minutes left in the day.
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110th over: England 463-5 (Root 157, Foakes 20) Boult is masterly, sending down a maiden and zipping the ball past the edge of Foakes’ blade. Proper criggit.
If you fancy a sort of Joe Root origin story by the way, I tapped out this ode to him after Lord’s.
109th over: England 463-5 (Root 157, Foakes 20) Foakes is proving a lovely (and did I mention handsome?) foil to Joe Root, quietly rotating strike and hitting anything loose away. The deficit is down to 90 now. This Test match is likely to go the distance.
108th over: England 460-5 (Root 155, Foakes 19) WOW. WOW. WOW. Joe Root you beauty. A wow for every boundary as Root glides through point and then brings up his 150 with an incredible KP-esque flick through mid-wicket, the camera panning to a head-shaking-in-disbelief Ben Stokes on the balcony. And then...WOW - another Pietersen style half flamingo flick that goes whistling through mid on. We are witnessing batting greatness here. A run of form not seen since Lara in 94/95?
107th over: England 447-5 (Root 143, Foakes 19) An OBO scribes dream as Bracewell sends down a maiden.
@Jimbo_Cricket Catches are surely more likely to go down at 429 for 5 after many hours in the field than at 129 for 5 with everybody pretty fresh, so pitches and groundskeepers may not be entirely without responsibility here
— The Justin Horton Show (@ejhchess) June 12, 2022
106th over: England 447-5 (Root 143, Foakes 19) Root and Foakes take a boundary each off Southee. Foakes with a pull, Root with a flick. England motor on.
105th over: England 435-5 (Root 137, Foakes 13) Four byes as Bracewell or “Beastie” as Blundell seems to be calling him, gets one to drift and rip past everything and the ball runs away. England will take ‘em.
104th over: England 431-5 (Root 137, Foakes 13) A couple off the dependable Southee.
Rachin Ravindra, who was released by New Zealand to play for Durham in the current round of the County Championship, is currently unbeaten on 164 against Worcestershire.#CountyCricket2022 pic.twitter.com/3UmayHBo3G
— Wisden (@WisdenCricket) June 12, 2022
103rd over: England 429-5 (Root 136, Foakes 12) Four off Bracewell’s latest.
A thousand runs in three days, and fingers may well be pointed at the groundsman, but it's absolutely not his fault that neither team can catch ...
— VoiceOfTheMysterons (@Mysteron_Voice) June 12, 2022
😳😳😳#ENGvNZ #ENGvzNZ #BBCCricket @Jimbo_Cricket
102nd over: England 425-5 (Root 134, Foakes 10) DROP! Will Young shells a simple catch as Ben Foakes fails to fully roll his wrist on a pull off Southee. I make that NINE drops in the match. What is going on at Trent Bridge? Is it something to do with the sight of the ball in the crowd? The air pressure? Help me out guys.
Budddummmmchhhh from Allan Dishington on email:
“Why shouldn’t Ollie Pope keep ticking off those rivers, he Ouses class.”
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101st over: England 422-5 (Root 133, Foakes 9) Bracewell continues to look threatening (and me a fool) as he gets on to bounce against Root and they go up for a catch behind! Or is it an lbw? They have a look for both but it is NOT OUT. The ball hitting Root on his forearm, narrowly missing the glove and also comfortably bouncing over the top of the stumps.
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100th over: England 422-5 (Root 132, Foakes 8) Root and Foakes work Matt Henry around for another profitable over.
Update from the Black Caps on Kyle Jamieson:
“Kyle Jamieson is off the field after experiencing sharp pain in his lower left back while bowling in the final session of day three. He is currently being assessed by medical staff and is unlikely to return to the field today.”
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99th over: England 417-5 (Root 128, Foakes 8) I take it all back about Bracewell by the way, who is now bowling with good rhythm and looks quite threatening. Just a single from the over.
98th over: England 416-5 (Root 127, Foakes 8) New Zealand think they have Foakes caught behind and so does Umpire Rod Tucker as he raises the finger of doom. ButButBut - Foakes reviews immediately and gestures towards the chunky chest pad that is billowing out from his flank. Sure enough he had dropped his hands out of the way in time and the ball thunked into his guard. NOT OUT. Let’s crack on.
To be that guy, the Oval is also north of the Thames. (I guess I will be deported from London now). https://t.co/hu4xmoUToE pic.twitter.com/cvqGJRpYy2
— sourbeerdough (@sourbeerdough) June 12, 2022
More river chat.
97th over: England 415-5 (Root 127, Foakes 8) Foakes, handsome devil that he is, plays an exquisite flick through mid wicket to notch up his second, much more convincing boundary.
Perhaps Ben Stokes has decided to become the batter we all hoped Jos Buttler would be @Jimbo_Cricket. That feels like a proposition with some downside as well as upside.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) June 12, 2022
Ben Foakes might have plenty of work to do with the bat if it's going to work.
96th over: England 410-5 (Root 126, Foakes 4) Foakes gets a thick edge on a Henry delivery and it flies away over the slips for four. I’ve said it before but with Potts carded to come in next England have a balsa lite tail.
My thoughts @Jimbo_Cricket 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) June 12, 2022
It just felt pretty frivolous.
95th over: England 406-5 (Root 126, Foakes 0) Ben Foakes joins Root at the crease at a critical juncture, much like he did at Lord’s during the fourth innings run chase.
@Jimbo_Cricket Did you hear that extraordinary stat on TMS that that was Ollie Pope's first century in any form of the game north of the Thames? I found that rather mindblowing
— Nicholas Lezard (@Nicklezard) June 12, 2022
Keep ticking the rivers off Ollie. Wye not.
WICKET! Stokes ct Boult b Bracewell 46 (England 405-5)
Destructive/daft stuff depending on where you stand. Stokes biffs his first ball from Bracewell for four and follows it up next ball with a mighty SIX down the ground. But next ball he tries to mow the spinner away for another maximum and doesn’t get it, the ball goes high and lands in the clutches of Trent Boult. What do we make to that then? England still trail by 148 runs. And they’ve got a long old tail. Penny for ‘em.
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94th over: England 392-4 (Root 121, Stokes 38) Jamieson comes into attack and Stokes greets him with a skip down the wicket and a slapped straight drive for SIX! What a shot. Stokes treating the 85mph Jamieson like he is a lowly village seamer. Oh no, Jamieson is leaving the field - it seems he’s tweaked something in his arm or his elbow. Trent Boult has to bowl the last three balls of the over and he goes for a couple of singles. God speed, Kyle.
93rd over: England 384-4 (Root 120, Stokes 31) Root continues on his merry way, cutting a wide delivery from Matt Henry away for four.
92nd over: England 378-4 (Root 115, Stokes 30) Stokes swipes and smears 10 runs from Boult’s over. He bunts him down the ground for four, not getting an entirely clean connection but just enough to see the ball dribble into the rope. The intent is clearly there, Stokes ain’t hanging around. The very next ball Boult goes short and Stokes plays a vicious cut for four, his wrists snapping like castanets. It is fun to watch, Stokes is clearly signed up fully to the McCullum mindset of never taking a backward step.
91st over: England 368-4 (Root 115, Stokes 20) A couple of singles from the over, Henry gets one to nip back to Root who jabs down on it at the last and very nearly chops on.
90th over: England 366-4 (Root 114, Stokes 19) Four dots from Boult but Stokes gets a pull away fine for four.
That's Root's 10th hundred in 18 months – a mind-blowing run of form.
— Yas Rana (@Yas_Wisden) June 12, 2022
That's as many as Gatting scored in his entire career.
Some hot streak eh?
89th over: England 361-4 (Root 113, Stokes 15) Southee comes around the wicket to Stokes but strays onto his pads again, Stokes flicking him nonchalantly away for four. Some sources are reporting that Bairstow is doing a SuDoku. We’ll keep you informed with the news as we get it.
88th over: England 355-4 (Root 113, Stokes 9) Stokes works a single and England avoid the follow on. That’s the first job done I suppose. Feels like this is a crucial passage of play in the grand scheme of the match. England need to get up nearer to New Zealand’s score, if they do lose a clump of wickets they’ll be forced to cling on in this game.
David Keech emails in from AMERICA: “Here we go again? From 334 for 2 to 351 for 9 and a nail biter to save the follow on? If anybody accuses me of being overly pessimistic I have been following English cricket since the early 1960s.”
I’m saying nothing David.
87th over: England 353-4 (Root 112, Stokes 8) Told ya! Stokes comes skipping down the wicket and climbs into a length ball from Southee, plopping him over cover for two-bounce four. The camera cuts to Bairstow seemingly scribbling in his diary on the balcony, someone get the long lens out!
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86th over: England 343-4 (Root 109, Stokes 4) The England captain comes to the crease to join the former England captain. Stokes times a ball off his pads to the fence for an effortless four. Saddle up, this could be interesting if Stokes’ second innings knock at Lord’s is anything to go by...
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WICKET! Bairstow ct Blundell b Boult 8 (England 344-4)
Boult swings one back and it cuts Bairstow in two. Not literally mind. New Zealand review and the Ultra Edge confirms there was a brush of Bairstow’s glove. Bairstow doesn’t really like it, but has to go.
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85th over: England 343-3 (Root 109, Bairstow 8) A clip off his pads brings Bairstow a four and gets him off the mark in style. Southee loses his line a little and drops one short, Bairstow’s eyes are as wide as hubcaps as he plunders a cut for four.
WICKET! Pope ct Henry b Boult 145 (England 334-3)
Pope goes! A top edged pull off Boult and a sharp catch in the swirling breeze by Matt Henry at long leg. Pope is angry with himself and will feel he has left quite few runs out there. He got away with a couple of those yesterday evening that sailed high and long in the breeze for six.
Trent Bridge stands to applaud Pope as he walks off with a rueful shake of the head. He knows there was a bigger score out there for him. Nevertheless, well batted young’un.
Jonny Bairstow will now face Trent Boult, the left-armer with his dander up and a new ball in hand. Gulp. Boult is on the money and completes a wicket maiden.
84rd over: England 334-3 (Root 109, Bairstow 0)
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83rd over: England 334-2 (Pope 145, Root 109) This new ball is dancing about, Southee gets one to duck in to Root and it hits him in the nether regions. A strangled appeal but Umpire Gough says no. Too high. Mike Atherton on comms says that there is still a bit in this wicket for the bowler, should anyone think the pitch is a complete featherbed, noting that there have been eight dropped catches and the scoreboard could have been very different.
The players head out after the tea break. Root and Pope so eager to get going on this Trent Bridge wicket that they emerge a good few minutes before the umpires. Keen on, lads.
You’ve got that hundred feelin’:
Now then @OPope32 👏 https://t.co/XCzXrDFqRf
— Mark Church (@backandacross) June 12, 2022
Tea: England 331-2 (Pope 142, Root 109)
What a session for England. Mark Butcher on Sky comms says that they have ‘gorged’ themselves which brings to mind Joe Root as Bruce Bogtrotter, boundaries being his chocolate cake.
Root has been so good it has sort of overshadowed Ollie Pope’s sophomore Test century but ever the class act, Root ensures that Pope leads them off the field for the break, giving his junior partner the chance to soak up the applause and savour the moment.
A run feast for England then BUT they still trail by 222 runs and need to have another good session after tea with the new ball hooping about.
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81st over: England 327-2 (Pope 142, Root 105) New Zealand take the new ball, more specifically Tim Southee has the shiny cherry in his paw. He gets one to shape passed the edge of Root’s flashing blade. Settle down our Joe.
ROOT GOES TO HIS 27th TEST CENTURY!
What a knock that is! Root brings up his quickest ever Test ton (116 balls) with an under edge that flies away for four. There’s a River Trent-wide grin plastered across his face. He has looked on a higher plane this innings.
80th over: England 326-2 (Pope 142, Root 104)
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79th over: England 319-2 (Pope 141, Root 98) A breather of sorts as just a couple from Bracewell’s latest. New Zealand have been leaking runs since lunch. Root needs just two more for a 27th Test Century, one of his classiest to boot.
Simon Thomas is having a ruddy lovely time:
“Afternoon James,
This is all going swimmingly, isn’t it? My favourite ever day at the cricket was watching KP and Bell smash India all round the Oval back in 2011. I’ve been waiting for something Bell like from Pope ever since he joined the team and maybe, just maybe this is the start of something. I do hope so. If he starts to push his average up towards 40 now, that’s going to be a lot of fun for England over the next year or so.”
78th over: England 317-2 (Pope 140, Root 97) ‘Moose’ Mitchell, him of the runs and dropped catches comes on for some wobbly stuff. Pope works him away for a single to bring up his highest test score. Tidy start from Mitchell.
77th over: England 316-2 (Pope 139, Root 97) Root is again reverse-sweeping with aplomb and gets Bracewell away for another four to take him to 97...
Not just England who make unfathomable selections. @Jimbo_Cricket . To leave Neil Wagner out of the NZ attack for the 1st two tests in favour of Patel & Henry respectively was utter madness. No hindsight involved, seemed stupid at the time and even more so now.
— Bernard Walsh (@nomoresurfin) June 12, 2022
76th over: England 309-2 (Pope 137, Root 92) EIGHT more runs from this over, Ollie Pope plays an outrageous upper-cut off Henry that flies away over point, a shimmy to leg and a brutal flay.
Henry resorts to banging it down halfway but Root and Pope are comfortable rocking back and pulling him away. Thwock, pock, crunch.
75th over: England 301-2 (Pope 132, Root 89) Just a couple from Bracewell’s latest.
A word on Joe: Root has now gone past Younis Khan in the all-time Test runs list, he’s 18 more off Gavaskar too. Oh and his Test average has now gone up above fifty.
74th over: England 299-2 (Pope 131, Root 88) 150 partnership comes up for these two easy on the eye batters. Ooooph! Henry gets one to whizz past Root’s gloves and it flies away past Blundell’s outstretched mitt. You it didn’t pick up a feather on the way through but was mighty closer.
SHOT OF THE DAY FROM JOE ROOT KLAXON! That was Viv Richards esque, onto the front foot and dismissively clipping Henry through a teensy gap in the leg side. A fine glance off his legs brings a third boundary off the over. Root really is in imperious touch.
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73rd over: England 287-2 (Pope 131, Root 80) Root is reverse-sweeping and Pope is late dabbing as Bracewell can’t keep the scoreboard from clattering.
72nd over: England 282-2 (Pope 128, Root 78) Matt Henry returns to the attack. He bowled a rippah to Root first up this morning. No dice this over, it’s easy pickings for Root and Pope who rotate for three singles.
71st over: England 279-2 (Pope 127, Root 76) Two singles off Bracewell, who I may have been a bit harsh on. He looks tidy enough. Mr G Swann on commentary thinks he needs to get a bit more action onto the ball.
70th over: England 277-2 (Pope 126, Root 75) Jamieson continues and Root and Pope pick up a single each.
Kim Thonger is theorising over the emails:
“I theorise that if I do not predict a batting collapse it will occur, but if I DO predict a collapse, it will NOT happen. I call this my double jinx paradox. I’m not sure if it actually IS a paradox but I like the sound of the word.”
69th over: England 275-2 (Pope 125, Root 74) Debutant Michael Bracewell comes on for a twirl, it would be harsh to say his off-breaks look a bit innocuous*... but they do. Three singles off his first bowl in Test cricket.
*Watch him run through England like a hot knife through Lurpak.
68th over: England 272-2 (Pope 124, Root 72) Thanks Daniel and hello OBOers.
I guess it will be ALL my fault if the wickets start to tumble now... it does look flatter than a prolapsed pancake out there currently though.
Pope has played well for his century but Joe Root has looked in absolutely sublime form, crisp footwork and flourishing cover drives. He glides Jamieson away for four and then milks the big blond one for three singles. Run’s coming apace in the first hour after lunch.
67th over: England 263-2 (Pope 123, Root 64) What I like about how England are playing here is how uncomplicated everything else. Cricket is a difficult game – batting and bowling are highly technical activities with lots of moving parts, to say nothing of the human psyche which underpins them – so anything that simplifies things is helpful. England have been positive in attack, positive in defence, and everything we’re seeing now flows from that, I think. Three singles off the over and that’s drinks – which means I’m away for the day; here’s Jim Wallace to narrate you through England’s imminent collapse
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66th over: England 260-2 (Pope 122, Root 62) Jamieson barrels in again, Pope flicking his first ball to deep midwicket for two. I keep saying it but I’m so pleased he’s batting well because his talent is so obvious – in particular, I’m looking forward to seeing him bat with Stokes because the different lines, lengths and angles they’ll demand of bowlers will be a very big problem.
65th over: England 258-2 (Pope 120, Root 62) New Zealand have been bowling wide to Root, packing the off side in the hope he loses patience and slashes; they try the same with Pope, who edges to backward point, then Root jinks across his stumps, presses down his front foot, and kisses four through cover. He could paint frescos with that bat.
“The wait for the collapse is killing me,” emails Ian Copestake. “How dare these batters seem competent.”
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64th over: England 253-2 (Pope 119, Root 58) I said at the start of the day that we’d learn something about England today, and maybe I was hasty – conditions are helpful, the New Zealand attack a bit samey – but even so, SB Pressure has been a sadistic opponent over the last few years, and they’re seeing him away superbly. As I type that, Pope stretches for a wide one, front foot forward, and power-caresses another four – he’s been so good on that side of the wicket, and it makes me think that the ability to identify bad advice is so important in sport. I’m not sure we’ll see that guard change again anytime soon.
63rd over: England 248-2 (Pope 114, Root 58) Southee returns and oh dear oh dear oh dear. Root top-edges a premeditated sweep and hangs his head as Blundell and Bracewell set off after it ... but the ball drops between them! The batters run two, Root then eases down the track, adjusts feet, and drives through mid on; that’s a beautiful shot, which yields four and the hundred partnership off 124 balls.
62nd over: England 242-2 (Pope 114, Root 52) “It’s nice to see him batting normally,” says Athers on Pope, with characteristic, deadpan insight. It must be so difficult just to keep things simple and do what you’ve always done, but here we are. And you know what? I think I said that Pope was punching the air before completing the run that took him to his ton, but seeing the footage again, it was actually Joe Root, which is lovely to see – you can’t beat sportsfolk buzzing off each other’s successes. Anyhow, Root adds a single to point – off the returning Jamieson – and New Zealand need something here. I wonder if they’re regretting leaving out Neil Wagner in the absence of a spinner.
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61st over: England 241-2 (Pope 114, Root 51) Hello! Pope late-cuts Henry for four, then leans back to uppercut the next ball ... for six! He’s enjoying himself now and we’re enjoying him enjoying himself; he takes two more to long leg so the partnership is now 94 off 116, the deficit 312.
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60th over: England 229-2 (Pope 101, Root 51) Pope looked such a good player when he first broke into the team, and looks that again – the off-stump guard to which he changed closed off that side of the pitch to him, and now he’s back on middle he’s able to score so much more freely. It just didn’t make sense that someone so deft limit themselves to one side of the wicket, and he takes one more to cover point, then the ball is changed for the third time this innings.
“As a lad of 14 years,” begins Chris Harrison – “a decent bat and a purveyor of quickish hooping outswingers—I played a cup match against England RU player Dusty Hare’s Collingham team. I went in at no. 5 and made a decent 40-odd after a dodgy start. Dusty was quite the sledger behind the stumps and chirped away throughout my innings, speculating about my appearance, legitimacy, gender, sexual preferences and much else. When I played and missed at a few early on, it was “’his useless, speccy, four-eyed C-word hasn’t got an effing clue’. I seethed.
When Collingham replied, we took the first few wickets cheaply, including a lad (I forget who) who—like Dusty—was a semi-regular in the Notts county team. Dusty came in and started bludgeoning the ball around the place and was quickly past 30. Skip threw the ball to me. My first delivery was on a length and swinging onto off stump. Four through midwicket. The second was the same, but quicker. Four through mid off. I ran up to bowl my third, ostensibly straining every sinew to send it down as fast as I could, but slow-delivered it from the palm rather than the fingers. Dusty heaved to send it over cow corner and was through his shot half a second before the ball clattered middle and dislodged both bails. I jumped off the ground and whooped with delight. ‘Who the eff do you think you are?’ pouted Dusty. ‘I’m the useless, speccy, four-eyed C-word that hasn’t got an effing clue’ I replied. One of the best feelings I ever had on a cricket pitch!
The following season we played Collingham in a(n alleged) friendly, again against a line-up featuring Dusty Hare. When I went in to bat, he began chirping again. A broad Notts voice from the gully area stage-whispered ‘Tek care, Dusteh. Don’t annoy him. This is the you-erth that made you look a right tw*t last year.’ I was still giggling three balls later when I lost my off peg.”
59th over: England 228-2 (Pope 101, Root 51) With Root needing four for his fifty, Henry serves him a straight one, which he twizzles to the fence with minimum effort and maximum prejudice. These two are properly ensconced now, and given the standard of the blasters in the hutch, New Zealand have a problem.
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58th over: England 222-2 (Pope 100, Root 46) Three dots, then Root presents the full face, absolutely cleansing four through cover. That is perfection, and a single soon follows to make it 27 runs scored in the 18 minutes since lunch. The idea of toiling all afternoon with touch-players of this ilk at the wicket sounds exactly what one doesn’t want to do.
“Turns out the first time I ever asked for an autograph was as a 10-year-old on Sunday Feb 3 1980 at the Hilton Hotel across from the MCG,” says Pete Salmon. “Dad and I were hanging out in the foyer before the start of the third day and Ian Chappell, who was on 53 not out overnight, came striding through. I dashed over with my autograph book in hand. He managed to both step on my foot and say, ‘No mate, F*** off’ without breaking stride. Turns out he never played for Australia again, so I guess that’s one to me.”
You sure showed him!
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Ollie Pope makes his hundred!
57th over: England 217-2 (Pope 100, Root 41) Pope middles one but picks out short cover; no matter, playing late, he back-cuts beautifully into the turf, the ball leaping over the infield, then eases two more away into the off side, and as they run his arms are already aloft! That’s Pope’s second century for England but more than that, it’s his first at number three, and what a moment that is! He has so much talent, and this is his time! Well done him and well done Ben Stokes, who’s out on the boundary applauding like an absolute demon with I told you so seeping out of his every pore.
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56th over: England 211-2 (Pope 94 Root 41) Boult finds some swing ... directly into the middle of Pope’s bat, the ball sent careering to the midwicket fence. He already looks better than he did in the hour before lunch, getting off strike with a single; Root adds two more, and this looks like being a long afternoon for the tourists.
“Steve Hudson must be mad expecting anyone to sign an autograph while walking off after an innings,” reckons Peter Metcalfe. “Geoffrey always signed autographs under normal conditions, unlike Trueman. I remember him forming an orderly queue of about thirty schoolchildren at Headingley in the 19790s and he signed for every one. He signed books, cards, bats for the rest of his career. I also have two hand-written letters from him from the 1960s.”
Can we see them?
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55th over: England 204-2 (Pope 89 Root 39) Henry sets us away again, Pope missing a leg-glance as the ball passes his front pad. A single follows, tapped to point, they dash through ... and Bracewell runs around to aim at one stump, releasing the ball as Root makes his ground, missing the stumps by a fortnight ... and buzzers! Five to the total, Pope nearer his ton after a difficult period, Henry every bit as amused as you’d expect .. and then Root drives his final delivery down the ground for four. That was right in the slot, but only because foot movement turned it into a half-volley that was never getting missed.
We go again...
“It’s hard to believe Moon Safari is 22 years old,” snivels Paul Howarth. “I remember buying it in HMV just reading the description, they were pushing French music and bands ahead of the World Cup.”
When I was a student, there was a point of the night – OK, morning – at which only Moon Safari would do, “Are we ready for Air yet?” a recurring question until it was unanimously agreed that enough had been had.
Lunchtime email: “It’s so good to see the old Joe Root back at the crease,” says Dean Kinsella. “His form was obviously still incredible during his captaincy travails but his body language today and at Lord’s last week is so markedly different. A lightness of movement between deliveries, a readiness to smile, loose shoulders plus the choice of shots he is taking on. All so reminiscent of the young Joe. Here’s to a shedload more centuries to come...”
He is going to score a silly number of runs, and I wonder if Kane Williamson is thinking he might bin the captaincy too.
Alex Lees will be hurting after giving his wicket away when looking very settled, but he contributed a useful knock, earned his maiden fifty, and batted better than he has done for England. Anyhow, I’ll be back shortly – in the meantime, enjoy your lunch.
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54th over: England 195-2 (Pope 84, Root 35) Aaaarggghhh! Root tries to cut from too close to his body, top edges ... and Southee, at two, tips it over the bar! Boult, in his follow-through, is already heaving with laughter, then the ball runs away for four ... and then Root square-drives the final ball of the sesh for four! That’s as good a morning as England will have hoped for, 105 runs, one wicket down, and two set batters returning after the break.
53rd over: England 186-2 (Pope 83, Root 27) Pope will be wanting to see more action and he drives through point for one, then Root flicks Southee to midwicket for three. It’s so easy for him – watching him bat is like listening to Moon Safari – and Pope could do with it on. He’s getting a bit frenetic, racing through for a single as the throw comes in from cover – Root gets home, just.
“Ted Dexter was notoriously hard to get an autograph from in his pomp,” says David Ballard. “During his time as England captain, aged about 11, I managed it at Bristol. There were typically only six autographs given out during each three-day county championship match: one for each of the youngsters who carried his (rather heavy) kit from his car to the changing room at the beginning and the end of each day’s play (assuming Glos lasted that long – never a certainty). I grabbed one of the coveted slots and was duly rewarded in a rather transactional and stand-offish way. Not a great conversationalist, but I felt that I’d got the jewel among autographs.”
Did he sign E or T Dexter?
52nd over: England 181-2 (Pope 81, Root 24) Pope has faced 30 deliveries in the last 15 overs, we learn after two of this latest Boult effort; he sends the fourth to mid off and runs one, slowly wriggling his way to three figures. The partnership is now 34 from 62.
51st over: England 180-2 (Pope 80, Root 24) Pope takes one to mid off, then Root flashes and groans ... but edges four high through slip nevertheless. He’s dominating out there, allowing Pope to take stock – or get nervous, depending on how you look at things.
“This is how you please your fans,” returns Jeremy Boyce, “the great Peter Sagan in mid-stage of the Tour de France...”
50th over: England 175-2 (Pope 79, Root 20) Boult returns, over the wicket to Root, and his third ball is hit hard but straight to the man. No matter – after one cramps him, Root goes with the swing and absolutely zetzes a fuller one through cover for four. He’s in, it’s fair to say, and greets the next ball with a cover drive too ... but picks out the fielder again.
49th over: England 171-2 (Pope 79, Root 16) Pope, becalmed in recent overs, eases a single to backward point, then Southee persuades one to leave Root, an absolute beauty. But it goes into the book as a dot, then Root flips one to midwicket, and he looks so comfy out there it’s just an absolute joke.
“Mention of the underrated David Allen reminds me of him turning out in a charity match for my village’s team in Gloucestershire in the mid 1980s, long after his playing days,” says Mike Collier. “Hearing a genuine England player was just around the corner I raced up to the ground and spotted him fielding on the boundary.I approached and asked for his autograph as the over ended.”Hang on a minute,” he said, stepped in to the long grass, turned his back and let rip with the most impressive and prolonged bit of bladder-venting I have ever witnessed. Got his autograph though!”
48th over: England 169-2 (Pope 78, Root 15) You’ve got to laugh. Henry tries to tuck Root up, so Root opens the face and uses the pace to send four racing through third man. In comms, Swann notes that Justin Langer enjoyed that shot, and also telling the bowler about it as he ran through – but Root doesn’t need to chat, everyone knows what’s up.
“Confirming that DK is more than a pushover when it comes to autograph hunters,” says Paul Mills, “I was at Hove in 1975, aged 12, to see Tony Greig smash him around a bit. I got Lillee’s autograph early in the day when he came down to field at long leg. Then I was hanging round the ground after the day’s play, when who should come up and ask me if I wanted his moniker. “No thanks mate, I’ve already got it.”
I love this – imagine having and having reason to have confidence of that ilk. “Would you like my autograph?” I’m going to try it on my wife when I’m finished here.
47th over: England 165-2 (Pope 78, Root 11) Jamieson sends down a maiden, and there’ve not been many of those this morning – that’s just the second.
46th over: England 165-2 (Pope 78, Root 11) Five dots, then Henry drops a tad short and wide, which is all that Root needs to ease back and mash him through square leg for four. He is quite good at cricket.
“Thirty something years ago, Sussex were playing NZ at Hove,” recalls Geoff Wignall. “Richard Hadlee was nursing a minor injury so a non-participant. During a quiet spell of the match my son and a couple of friends, all junior members, were in the nets when the great man happened to stroll by. Upon being approached by an ordinarily shy 12 year-old with a bowling question, he took off his blazer, gave a 20 minute tutorial on seam and wrist position and left behind some very elated schoolboys. I can’t think of another sport where something similar would happen. (Note to younger readers: at the time Hadlee had a good claim to being the world’s best cricketer.)”
that is brilliant.
45th over: England 161-2 (Pope 78, Root 7) Pope pulls a single to backward square, then Root bumps one to cover and sets off. These two could bat well together – they’re not dissimilar, which isn’t what I’d look for to begin with – players who want to score and defend in different areas are hardest for bowlers – but the ability to manipulate ball, strike and scoreboard is a handy one. Pope then takes two to fine leg, and he’s settled here.
“I remember my young son at a Sheffield Shield game at the SCG going to get Merv Hughes’ autograph,” says Joe Glaysher. “From a distance, at the opportune moment I called out ‘Hey Sam! How do you know he can write?’ He still has the autograph and the memories of his embarrassing father.”
44th over: England 157-2 (Pope 75, Root 6) Henry offers Root room and he doesn’t need asking twice, clumping four through mid off, then a wobble-ball foxes Blundell, it leaps out, hurts his finger, and they run two byes. Don’t laugh.
“Accurate lookalikes are all well and good, but tenuous ones are much more worthwhile,” reckons Alex Newcombe, “i.e.England Coach Brendon McCullum and WWE’s Rhea Ripley.”
In fairness, this was better with the photos Alex sent – the below is all our library permits me.
43rd over: England 151-2 (Pope 75, Root 2) Daryl Mitchell will be relieved he took that catch after yesterday’s shenaniga, but can one bring two? Pope again sends the ball to square leg inadvertently – they run two – then leaves one that trims the fibres of his off stump! He’ll be able to smell the applause as he waves his bat to the crowd; can he make it?
42nd over: England 149-2 (Pope 73, Root 2) Joe Root emerges to cheers, racing out to the middle and squirting his first ball into the on side for two. But Henry responds superbly, digging one in that lifts and does everything but take the edge.
“At the tender age of 11,” says Martin Wright, “I caught the bus to Lord’s, clutching my autograph book in my hand. I turned up early after a tip that if you were lucky, you could catch players on their way to nets. So I was thrilled to run into Mike Brearley and Clive Radley, along with some teenager who I didn’t recognise. Brears and Radley very willingly signed my book, and I passed it to the teenager who looked surprised: “Do you want mine as well?”. Brearley laughed and said something like, ‘Of course he does, you’ll be famous one day.’ So the youth duly signed: ‘P.H. Edmonds’. That was probably the most polite he ever was on a cricket ground...”
And imagine a wife writing the books Frances did now. That’d be something.
WICKET! Lees c Mitchell b Henry 67 (England 147-2)
Oh, Alex! Set, secure and in nick, he chases a wide one and guides a catch into slip’s midriff. He is going to be raging, but when that subsides, sometime in 2028. he’s played a useful knock for his team that also showcased his growing comfort at this level.
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42nd over: England 147-1 (Lees 67, Pope 73) We go again, Henry bowling...
“Just a quick defence of Mike Procter,” tweets Harry. “He was always happy to sign autographs after play at the Cheltenham Festival in the late 70s before retreating to the cider tent. Guess the previous contributor caught him on the wrong day.”
Yup, people are people – we’re mainly nice, and occasionally we stray – all of us.
41st over: England 147-1 (Lees 67, Pope 73) Another one to Pope, then Lees goes back to force another four through gully. He’s batted so positively this morning, adding two then one, and will know that, as we take drinks, there’s an opportunity not only for a ton but to secure his spot in the side for the remainder of the summer. I’ve no idea how you contemplate that without totally losing the run of yourself; I’m losing the run of myself contemplating that on his behalf.
“An alternative topic for the OBO might be meeting professional cricketers that turn out to be nice chaps,” returns Steve Hudson. “I was lucky enough to play with Jeff Jones (ex-Glam and England, father of Simon) and Euros Lewis (ex-Glam and ex-Sussex). Both extremely nice, pleasant blokes, and the latter also had an enviable capacity for Old English Cider and roll-ups.”
I cone interviewed Alastair Cook, who was great – though we were talking about darts, and when he left, a member of England’s media team told me “Oh must’ve told you about that he used to have an oche in his lounge, which his wife invited him to cede when she moved in.”
Er no, he didn’t. Cheers, Chef.
40th over: England 139-1 (Lees 60, Pope 72) New Zealand have loads of runs with which to play but they’ll not be happy with their morning so far. A leg bye is followed by one to Pope, then a superfine leg-glance from Lees adds four more. In comms, Simon Doull notes that given the number of catches we’ve seen dropped, this might’ve been a much lower-scoring match, but the speed of the outfield and flatness of the surface are such that a positive result looks increasingly unlikely.
“Many years ago at, I think Trent Bridge,” says Gary, “Rod Marsh and Dennis Lillie were chatting to a friend, post play. They were hairy and scary. I was very young. Held out my quivering autograph book. They switched their attention to me and were charm personified. Chatted and set me at ease. Lillie was definitely scarier with the ball in his hand!”
39th over: England 133-1 (Lees 56, Pope 71) Jamieson into the attack, and after a leg bye loosener, Lees rises onto tippy-toes to glide a four to the square leg fence which raises his debut Test fifty! What a feeling that must be, but there’s work to be done here and he immediately drives two more into the off side, then takes a quick one to mid on. He looks a much better player here than he did in the winter.
38th over: England 125-1 (Lees 49, Pope 71) Pope edges a single to square leg, the only run off the over.
“In the early 70s I saw Sir Geoffrey Boycott score a ton against Glamorgan in the John Player League at Colwyn Bay,” recalls Steve Hudson. “As he walked off at the end of the innings, I raced over and asked him ‘Please sir can I have your autograph?’ Boycs didn’t break stride or even glance. ‘No, p*ss off’ he said. I was young and naive enough to be surprised.”
He’s a no-nonsense Yorkshireman!
37th over: England 124-1 (Lees 49, Pope 70) A single to each batsman, then Lees drives two to cover before chasing a wide one, a thick outside edge sending the ball flying between gully and two for four. This has been a terrific start for England.
“I am taking Benedict Carter’s supposed recollection of his experience as a 10-year-old with a certain amount of salt,” emails David Stewart. “I first came across Mike Procter at an event in Durban on Christmas Day 2016, raising money for the charity he runs on behalf of orphaned children via a primary school just to the north of the city. I subsequently became his UK representative for the next four years. Like all of us he has his faults, but I never found him less than gentlemanly and well mannered. Perhaps either a hangover on his part, or creative/faulty memory on the part of your poster.”
We’d all be silly to judge anyone based on one interaction.
36th over: England 116-1 (Lees 42, Pope 69) It’s actually Matt Henry into the attack, replacing Boult, and after five dots, Pope twinkles down and flicks four through square leg! He’s enjoying this, so expect an airy drive to mid off anytime now.
“+1 for Ray East,” says Andy Taylor. “The book was great, and he was an excellent mimic of other cricketers (probably distracting enough for the opposition’s batters to get them out more easily). Recovering from a trip to ABBA Voyage last night - if this test does go wrong for England then I recommend it to the boost the mood like little else.”
England’s slippers would do well to heed the message of Take A Chance.
35th over: England 112-1 (Lees 42, Pope 65) Pope adds one to fine leg, then Lees wafts outside off and gets nowhere near. I wonder if we might see Kyle Jamieson soon, because England are doing alright.
“Echoing Benedict Carter,” tweets Guy Hornsby, “I was an eager teen at the 1989 Ashes at the Oval (disclosure: we got walloped) and got most of my heroes autographs (and some Aussies, heh) Apart from Boonie, who told us to “f*** off”. I was shocked at the time. Now, not so much.”
I’m enjoying this riff. When have you been dissed by a cricketing legend? Let us know! Also, wasn’t the 1989 Oval Test drawn?
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34th over: England 111-1 (Lees 42, Pope 64) My system somehow deletes my update for this over, so please bear with me. But Woakes was right – the pitch is slower – because Pope edges ... and the ball drops short of Mitchell at slip! Two to mid off follow, raising the 100 partnership, then tempted by a tempter hung outside off, Pope chases and gets enough to send four through cover. He adds one more while, in the box, Nas asks Woakes about Anderson’s fitness regimen and I recall reading that every now and again, as a reward for his ludicrous efforts, he allows himself a square of Dairy Milk. A square.
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33rd over: England 104-1 (Lees 42, Pope 57) Pope is playing the ball really close to his body, seeing away a decent over from Southee and adding another single to square leg.
“I agree with you about Swann,” says Rollo Treadway. “However, whereas the top order and the other bowlers may have been replaceable, I’d argue that – along with Swann – Matt Prior was just as critical to those successes. His keeping could be replaced, sure, he was never the best keeper available. But a good number 7 makes a world of difference to a batting side, building on a strong start to flatten the opposition, or rebuilding carefully with the tail when things haven’t gone well. Prior was the best seven England have had during my time, and by a distance.”
Can’t argue with that. I remember being stood in the Long Room once, when India came to Lord’s in 2011. Morgan and Prior came out to bat after lunch, Morgan all flinty-eyed and serious, Prior like he was having a doss with his mates. Morgan went shortly afterwards for 19, Prior hammered an unbeaten 103.
32nd over: England 103-1 (Lees 42, Pope 56) Boult forces Pope to dig out a nip-backer, then a single follows to square leg and this is a decent start for the home side, both batsmen re-established at the crease. Or, put another way, the collapse is imminent.
“As Swann looks like Colin Montgomerie,” emails Andrew Benton, “perhaps I can point you to the uncanny likeness between Jimmy Anderson and Dirk Bogarde”.
31st over: England 102-1 (Lees 42, Pope 55) Lees is in great touch here, and when Southee, coming from around, offers width, he leans on it to send the ball hurtling to the fence fo fo. That’s England’s hunnert up and Lees into the forties for the first time in a Test. He’ll be pleading with himself not to waste this start, and just as I type it he shapes to leave the final delivery of the over, then half-bats it when reverse-swing forces the change.
30th over: England 98-1 (Lees 38, Pope 55) This is a good over from Boult, who induces an edge from Pope which drops short – in co-comms, Woakes reckons the pitch has slowed up – then beats the outside edge of an airy drive. Maiden.
“Autographs,” begins Benedict Carter. “I can’t say the same good things about Mike Procter, who I asked for his autograph in around 1973. I was 10. He said, as the piece of paper and a pen were thrust at him, “F*** off little boy, we are here to play cricket!”
I’ve a not dissimilar tale from 1991, waiting for autographs at Lord’s following day four of the Sri Lanka Test. Out came England’s star man and a phalanx of kids immediately surrounded him, so he said “Get out the way or I’ll trample your heads into the ground”. I did, though, get him to write his name on my scorecard.
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29th over: England 98-1 (Lees 38, Pope 55) This could be a long day of toil for New Zealand’s bowlers – they might have to take the extra half-hour at stumps to see if they can finish England off, etcetera etcetera. Southee tries a succession of outswingers to Pope, who leaves the majority, seeing out five dots before turning a single into the on side to retain strike.
28th over: England 97-1 (Lees 38, Pope 54) It’s Boult from the other end and Pope shoves his third delivery through cover for three – this outfield is absolutely rapid.
“Yes, you should read ‘The Breaks Are Off’, Swann’s (ghosted) autobiography as it’s a great story,” returns John Starbuck. “The title is worth it alone, being a double pun. I suspect there’s an agency somewhere dreaming up such titles. I also recall, from the 1980s, Ray East’s ‘A Funny Turn’, also recommended for a good laugh and plenty of details about the mad stuff happening in Essex CCC.”
It’d never previously occurred to be that Kurtis Blow is a cricket fan. But why wouldn’t he be?
27th over: England 94-1 (Lees 38, Pope 51) Southee opens up and his third ball is wide, so Lees clouts it on the up through cover-point – that’s a lovely way to get going of a morning (apparently). No need to run for those, the four that ensues the only scoring shot in the over.
“Fred Titmus? David Allen? Ray Illingworth?” wonders John Wilson. “Swanny lucky to come in the top five. Swanny big on mouth, big on bluster, mediocre bowler.”
I didn’t see the others you name, but I strongly disagree on Swann, who was a brilliant bowler for England and absolutely irreplaceable in a team that became the world’s best.
“I had the pleasure of meeting Deadly once, in the mid 60s when I was a nipper,” emails Jeremy Boyce. “Grandpa took us all to Headingley for the Saturday of a Windies Test. I was collecting autographs and after close of play spotted Deadly sitting near the front of a stand next to the pavilion, so went and asked. He was a totally nice gent, spent five minutes asking me about the match and whether I played cricket (yes, badly), signed his autograph nicely, a great man. And a demon bowler with a unique style, bowling left arm medium-slow-fast off about 12 paces of run-up, not many fewer than Richard Hadlee. Economical and frequently unplayable. Those were the days...”
The players are with us...
“Pope alas will not survive long because he is a player who lives on his nerves,” reckons Ian Copestake, “and has had the whole night to dwell on whatever problem having scored 50 runs presents to a person who lives on their nerves.”
I’m not sure. He looks to me like a player who always knew he was going to make it because their his talent is so resplendent, only to hit an unexpected bump – he’s Ian Bell, basically. I’m still hopeful for him.
Swann says he thinks Leach is a potentially world-class spinner, but he doesn’t think he is, landing the ball but not working out batsmen in the way he can in the county game. I’d love this to be the case; it’ll beed to happen soon, because Matt Parkinson can’t be far away.
“Swann averaged a tad under 30, although he took a great many wickets,” says James Debens, “but I’d always pick Root. To be averaging about 15 runs more than the players he’s been with for the past few years is astonishing. It’s such a gulf in class. The 2021 Root batting in the 2010-11 would probably have averaged 70. He’s easily the best batter that England have had in the past 50 years. The stats don’t lie. I think Mo, Monty and others get an unfair shout.”
Obviously Root is brilliant, but I think I could be alright with Trescothick, Cook, Gower, KP ands Bell, say. Who’s my spinner if I’ve not got Swann? On which point, I still think Adil Rashid should’ve played through most of the last decade.
“Before Deadly Derek Underwood there was Tony Lock in the 1950s,” notes John Starbuck. “Not that he was a tremendous spinner of the ball, but more because, rather like Warnie, he got wickets through force of personality. I agree about Swann, though; have you read ‘The Breaks Are Off’?”
I’ve not – should I? Incidentally, does Swann look like Colin Montgomerie? There’s something of the pantomime dame about both.
“Merry Sunday Dan, Morning, Shalom, Salam, Namaste ( As you wish),” opens Mohammed. “Is Trent Bridge the finest ground in this country? I really like Lees, plays with authority, has a presence and is a wonderful player on the offside, as Pope has been. Simply need to play positively, play the session and while forcing a win unlikely, a big score of 550+ not implausible.”
I guess I find the track a little slow – my vote probably goes to OT, which has the best combination of pitch and venue. Lees really needs a serious score to settle him down, because he knows he can grit it out, but doesn’t yet know if he can cash in.
“Morning Daniel, morning everyone,” begins Robert Ellson. “There’s something very admirable about the selectors’ persistence in sticking with talents like Pope and Crawley when the players haven’t always made it easy for them. Hoping that Pope will reward them today. I’m trying to exhibit the same kind of persistence and so, for the third year running, I’m hoping to establish “His Olliness” as a nickname for Pope. Any support gratefully received.”
Yes, I do wonder about Crawley, who seems to be doing the same things then wondering why they yield the same outcomes. But Pope is one about whom I was sure who I think’ll benefit from being given a permanent and crucial role.
What I loved about Swann no, not his blazer-shirt-slacks-broon shoes combo – was his commitment to attack. He spun the ball hard, tossed it up, and didn’t worry about the consequences.
We’ve now got Graeme Swann on who, if you asked me to pick one England player from my lifetime to go into an XI, would be my choice. Not because I don’t think Anderson, KP and Flintoff were as good, but because I can work around not having all of those, whereas no other spinner comes even close to him – I’m too young to remember Deadly. Nowadays, England struggle to even hold down an end with the slow stuff in first innings, but when Swann was in his pomp he’d be taking wickets as well.
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Chris Woakes is on Sky looking extremely slick. He’s surely a shoo-in for a telly role when he stops playing, and has just let us know that there’s no worse feeling than dropping a catch. More news as I get it.
I enjoyed this – and thought Moeen handled the awkwardness very well.
Sir Alastair Cook 🗣️ "He told everyone I wasn't a very good captain!"
— Test Match Special (@bbctms) June 11, 2022
Moeen Ali 🗣️ "I was saying that Rooty has a lot more empathy for his players than you do!"
The duo discuss *that* viral video...
📻 Listen to @bbctms on @BBCSounds#BBCCricket #ENGvNZ pic.twitter.com/SqdwmAKWsr
Preamble
There’s something disquietingly familiar about this, isn’t there? England, under the pump, end a day in decent shape … then collapse in short order and hilarious style at the start of the next. Just when you thought they were in, they drag themselves back out.
It’s so easy to make the case, too. Alex Lees is already expert at getting in and getting out, Ollie Pope your classic architect of pretty but insubstantial knocks, and if those two topple early doors, we’ll be down to Stuart Broad biffing sixes in no time. I can’t lie: it’s an invigorating prospect.
On the other hand, though, today’s conditions should be friendly, the best for batting of the match, and England are well set to take advantage. Lees is doughty, Pope imbued by management with the confidence he needs to fulfil his potential, and behind them are Joe Root, Jonny Bairstow and Ben Stokes. Which is to say that disaster is eminently avoidable, so today will tell us more about the Brendon McCullum effect than did Root’s heroics on the final day at Lord’s. As Ian Ward mused so perceptively at stumps last evening, “the first hour could be crucial”. Here we go!
Play: 11am BST
