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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
James Wallace (now) and Tanya Aldred (earlier)

England beat Ireland by 10 wickets: Test match, day three – live

Josh Tongue of England celebrates with Joe Root and Jonathan Bairstow after dismissing Fionn Hand of Ireland to take his five wicket haul.
Josh Tongue of England celebrates with Joe Root and Jonathan Bairstow after dismissing Fionn Hand of Ireland to take his five wicket haul. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Right, time for me to knock this OBO humanely on the head. Ali Martin’s match report will be along shortly and Emma John’s colour piece will land soon too.

Thanks for all your correspondence, we’ll be back for the World Test Championship next week and then beyond that it’ll be time for the big one. The silver tuna, Marv.

Have a lovely evening, goodbye!

Now it is time for England Captain Ben Stokes:

I though Ireland came out and showed grit and determination today, it gives us a little insight into what we might have to do against Australia.

It was a good test and all credit to Ireland today.

On the returning Bairstow:

Jonny came back in and did a tidy job behind the stumps, it was good to get him back out into the arena.

A word from the skipper on Josh Tongue too – the debutant took 5-66 on Test debut.

Tongue came in and performed really well, he performed that third seamer role and showed how versatile he can be, that’s something we’re looking for in a seam bowler. It’s pretty special for him getting a five-for for England at Lord’s.

He also speaks briefly about his long-standing knee problem:

I bowled this morning, so there’s nothing to worry about. It’s great to get back together as a group, spending quality time together before the Ashes. We’re all really looking forward to it.”

Ireland Captain Andrew Balbirnie speaks:

Our character was never in doubt, we’ve got a tough group. Test cricket is very raw to us. Yesterday was a tough day but to come back and make England bat again was a small win.

It was heartening to hear the noise in the ground ( especially when Hume hit the boundary that took Ireland into the lead) even though we were behind the eight ball.

We want to grow the game in our country, so small wins like that are important. We always go in believing we can compete, but England quickly showed the standard and it was hard to keep up.”

Ireland’s skipper speaks very well.

“We’re learning on the job and we’ve got to learn quickly. Hopefully next time we’ll show the benefit, it gets you thinking, looking around for ideas, but it’s exciting and I thought the guys played well. We showed glimpses today and can be proud of that.

Balbirnie also adds that:

“We’ve got to play teams around our own level to bed into the format, it is hard to come here before the Ashes but these are the fixtures we’ve been given. The World Cup qualifiers are a huge event for us and there’s a lot of focus on that for us. We’ll dust ourselves off, get on a plane and hopefully produce good cricket.”

Updated

Ollie Pope is Player of the Match: The double centurion strolls up to chat to Athers, Paul Mescal inspired ginger mullet hidden under his baseball cap.

Always special to come to Lord’s in front of a packed house and great to get back with the boys, we’ve had a lot of fun and it is nice to contribute.

I like to feel rhythm, find my tempo and that’s what I had from the County Championship, it’s nice to cash in pre-Ashes”

He talks about the promotion to vice-captain:

“Not much has changed to be honest, we’ve got so much experience in the team, so it’s just a case of channeling some opinions to Stokesy. To get a good run out as a team together, for the batters to get a feel for it and to together and feel bonded again… we’re excited for the Ashes.”

Updated

Time for the presentations, Mike Atherton is waiting patiently in front of a perspex advertising board with mic in hand.

Ireland showed real heart today, yes they were outgunned and the chasm between the sides was plain to see but they made England scrap today after a chastening two days at HQ.

The 163 stand between Andy McBrine and Mark Adair was their highest-ever in their seven Test matches and they have some real talent in Lorcan Tucker and Harry Tector.

Not to be a killjoy or anything…

there is this though:

“Gave Ireland some stick yesterday. I hereby warm my humble pie” very good of you, Matt Winter.

Here’s the winning moment

Updated

England win by 10 wickets

Emphatic. Crawley drives down the ground for four more and England win the Test by ten wickets. Zak Crawley heads into the Ashes with 12* off four balls and a head full of dreams.

Updated

I knew this would be a wise decision. Crawley blocks the second ball but stands tall and back-foot punches handsomely for four more off the third! England one hit away.

I might go against the trade description of the OBO and ball-by-ball this first over

Mark Adair with the first ball… it is short and rasped away on the pull for four by Crawley.

It’s Crawley and Duckett to open (Boooo!)

Eyes peeled on the Pavilion steps…

WICKET! Hume b Broad 14 (Ireland finish on 362-9)

Gah! Stuart Broad acts the pantomime villain by bowling Hume the ball after being edged away for four. That’s it for the Irish batting, they’ve done themselves proud today. England will have to come out and knock off the 11 runs needed for victory.

Hume is bowled by Broad to bring the Ireland innings to a close.
Hume is bowled by Broad to bring the Ireland innings to a close. Photograph: Andrew Fosker/Shutterstock

Updated

86th over: Ireland 358-8 (McBrine 86, Hume 10) The players emerge after tea to a light buzz of excitement. A single to each of McBrine and Hume off Potts, both cheered enthusiastically. The lead is up to six runs – be still Irish hearts.

Zaltz has got you covered:

Timothy Harnedy believes:

“James, have we done this?! 30 is the lowest score all out in the 4th innings. Ireland lead by 4... They couldn’t, could they?”

They probably won’t Timothy but I admire your gusto.

Tea - Ireland lead by 4 runs

85th over: Ireland 356-8 (McBrine 85, Hume 9) Stuart Broad sends down a maiden but England don’t get the final wicket they need.

Stovepipe, fedora and bucket hats off to Ireland. They added 141 runs in that session for the loss of two wickets. The players head off for a delayed tea interval and we’ll be back for some more action after a brew.

“Afternoon James”

Afternoon to you Simon McMahon - I like the cut of your jib sir.

“A victory of sorts for Ireland if they can make England bat again. A victory for the ages if they then bowl them out for 14 and win by one run…”

84th over: Ireland 356-8 (McBrine 85, Hume 9) Tongue is worked for a single to more hearty crowd cheers, it is both sets of fans egging them on, no one wants this to end just yet. A no-ball and a further single give Ireland a lead of four runs. Stuart Broad is summoned to come on and finish the job for England.

83rd over: Ireland 353-8 (McBrine 84, Hume 8) Graham Hume slaps two boundaries through the off-side off Joe Root to bring the biggest cheer of the day! England will have to bat again… a nickel or a dime for Zak Crawley’s thoughts right now?

82nd over: Ireland 345-8 (McBrine 84, Hume 0) More magician than matador, Tongue scythes McBrine in half with one that zings back. A couple of twos are then heartily applauded by the crowd as the deficit is reduced to seven runs.

Updated

81st over: Ireland 341-8 (McBrine 80, Hume 0) A single off Root and takes McBrine into the eighties. The new ball looks like it is being unsheathed from its cellophane. Tongue has it in his mitts and is prowling for six wickets, his goattee giving him the whiff of a matador. McBrine has the red rag of a Lord’s Test century to have a run at.

80th over: Ireland 340-8 (McBrine 79, Hume 0) A wicket-maiden for Tongue. With McCollom’s injury -England need just one more to wrap this up. Ireland trail by 12 runs and I’ve just spied this…

They are plumping for Tonguey in the nickname stakes then. Disappointing.

Updated

WICKET! Hand c Crawley b Tongue 7 (Ireland 340-8)

FIVE WICKETS ON TEST DEBUT FOR JOSH TONGUE! Pitched up and driven into the long fingers of Zak Crawley at second slip. A lovely moment for the debutant – he stands and proffers the ball to each corner of the ground.

Tongue celebrates dismissing Hand.
Tongue celebrates dismissing Hand. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

79th over: Ireland 340-7 (McBrine 79, Hand 7) Root rattles through an over at warp speed. One more to the shiny new Dukes is available.

Enjoyed this from Andy in Brum:

78th over: Ireland 337-7 (McBrine 78, Hand 5) Tongue nearly scuds a grubber through McBrine! “Oh my garrrd” drawls the batter in his rich Norn Irish brogue.

77th over: Ireland 336-7 (McBrine 78, Hand 4) There are three overs to the second new ball. A few texts come in asking if Harry Brook is going to get the nod to bowl his filthy leg-spin - not whilst Tongue is in the hunt for five I reckon. McBrine drops into the covers and calls Hand for a quick single.

Away from Lord’s - m’colleague Geoff Lemon has the skinny on David Warner’s retirment.

76th over: Ireland 334-7 (McBrine 77, Hand 3) No dice for Tongue, McBrine whips him away for a single off the pads. The crowd are enjoying the sun and this stubborn Irish second innings, I can see quite a few pinky-hued faces from my vantage point. If Ireland do make England bat again I wonder who they’ll send out to open? Penny for ‘em…

75th over: Ireland 333-7 (McBrine 76, Hand 3) The redoubtable Potts bustles in for another over – a HUGE appeal as the ball smashes into Hand’s knee roll but there’s nowt doing and England don’t review. A maiden.

74th over: Ireland 333-7 (McBrine 76, Hand 3) Josh Tongue needs one more wicket to bag a five-fer on Test dayboo. A probing over from the strapping Worcestershire seamer, just a single off it.

Here’s the Last Waltz for Adair. Sorry.

73rd over: Ireland 332-7 (McBrine 76, Hand 2) McBrine plays another delicious glide past the keeper to pick up another boundary. Josh Tongue is given the nod by Stokes.

This is a nifty stat – well played Ireland, their character has shone through today after the brutality of yesterday.

72nd over: Ireland 325-7 (McBrine 71, Hand 0) Ireland trail by 26 runs but with McCollom injured they only have one man left in the hutch now Adair has departed. Jack Leach headed off the field after his last over and so Joe Root is on to bowl. Just a single off it.

WICKET! Adair c Bairstow b Potts 88 (Ireland 325-7)

A bent-kneed drive from McBrine scorches away to the fence behind point and brings a collective purr from the press box here at Lord’s. A single brings Adair on strike and nooooo! He tries to run Potts up and over Bairstow but just gets a tickle on it and it’s a simple catch for YJB. England are relieved and Adair is distraught, he hangs his head over his blade for a beat before truding off to a very warm round of applause. He’s given this crowd somehting to watch and they are grateful to him. Fionn Hand is the new man at the crease.

71st over: Ireland 325-7 (McBrine 71, Hand 0)

Adair is dismissed by Potts.
Adair is dismissed by Potts. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters
Stokes congratulates Potts.
Stokes congratulates Potts. Photograph: Ray Lawrence/TGS Photo/Shutterstock

Updated

70th over: Ireland 318-6 (McBrine 65, Adair 87) Adair is batting beautifully out there in the North West London sun – two meaty hits into the leg-side off Jack Leach bring him a brace of boundaries. The parternship moves past 150 in the process. Adair’s nickname is Sparky (same as my late Grandad, don’t ask) and his batting is exactly that.

69th over: Ireland 307-6 (McBrine 58, Adair 82) Thanks Tanya and hello everyone. This is all rather heartening isn’t it? I’ll be totally honest, I fully expected to be holed up in a pub somewhere watching the FA cup final by now but I’m very glad to be here to see some plucky Irish resistance.

McBrine glides Potts away past the cordon for four more to reduce the deficit to under 50. Mark Adair needs 18 more runs to become the first Irishman to score a Test century at Lord’s.

Fifty for McBrine!

68th over: Ireland 299-6 (McBrine 53, Adair 80) Leach almost slips through his over without Ireland noticing, but McBride reverse sweeps his last ball for four to reach his second Test fifty. He gets a pat on the helmet from Adair, and cheery applause from the balcony as well as the stands.

With Ireland enjoying the sun, time for me to hand over to Jim Wallace, who will expertly guide you through the rest of the day. Thanks for all the messages, and, maybe, see you tomorrow!

McBrine in action.
McBrine in action. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

Key event

67th over: Ireland 294-6 (McBrine 49, Adair 79) Clever, clever bit of dinky-donk by Adair, dabbed down to third man, but it only brings two. A fiendish pull follows, well saved by a diving Harry Brook. Then an upper cut for one. Potts sighs.

66th over: Ireland 289-6 (McBrine 49, Adair 74) Stokes just starts to look slightly agitated in the field – as McBrine sweeps Leach over square leg and slaps him over mid-wicket for consecutive fours.

65th over: Ireland 278-6 (McBrine 41, Adair 71) Potts is back, poetry in motion. He’s looked the best bowler today and straight away beats McBrine. But McBrine picks up four through the diving point fielder and he and Adair now have Ireland’s highest Test partnership – 116.

64th over: Ireland 274-6 (McBrine 37, Adair 71) Leach applies the brakes, and Adair nearly comes a cropper to his last ball, just putting ball to bat in time. Ireland trail by 78.


”Hi Tanya,” Hello Colum Fordham!
”Although I’m an England fan, I have an Irish name and am glad Ireland are showing such resolution in their second innings. Tector and Tucker have put up Stirling (sic) resistance while this partnership between McBrine and Adair might just force England to put on the pads again which would be a sort of moral victory for Ireland.


”My mother Averne, who despite being English, played lacrosse for Ireland, would be delighted.”


Raising a frothy glass to Averne.

63rd over: Ireland 271-6 (McBrine 35, Adair 70) A brains-trust talk between Stokes and Broad- Adair plays and misses then smacks him with the vigour of a hilly village postman over mid-wicket for four. Four more follow with a dainty late cut down to the third-man boundaries.

Hundred partnership for the seventh wicket!

62nd over: Ireland 259-6 (McBrine 35, Adair 62)Three through the slips brings up the hundred partnership and great sense of irritation within English hearts.

Fifty for Mark Adair!

61st over: Ireland 259-6 (McBrine 32, Adair 61) And with a cheeky uppercut, Adair reached a cracking maiden Test fifty – off just 47 balls, with seven fours and two sixes. Two more boundaries follow in succession off Stuart Broad and the deficit drops below a hundred.

Adair celebrates his half century.
Adair celebrates his half century. Photograph: Andrew Fosker/Shutterstock

Updated

60th over: Ireland 247-6 (McBrine 32, Adair 49) The boundaries have been a-flowing since lunch, this time Leach offers some air, and McBrine leans into a drive.

Updated

59th over: Ireland 242-6 (McBrine 28, Adair 48) Observations interrupted by an inelegant hunt for the zapper to stop the television switching itself off , but a short one from Broad is sent to the rope by Adair who can sniff fifty.

Adair, Ireland sweeps for four runs.
Adair, Ireland sweeps for four runs. Photograph: Ray Lawrence/TGS Photo/Shutterstock

Updated

58th over: Ireland 237-6 (McBrine 28, Adair 43) McBrine drops to sweep, Leach appeals, it doesn’t look out but we are deceived and it is umpire’s call on impact. Reprieved, McBrine square drives for four and then slams Leach back past his grasping hand to the boundary.

“All that rather lordly wittering about brogues (31st Over), I should have got my back up,” writes Robert Wilson. “But the fact that the instigator was called Tone White, a pretty much perfect name for an C18th Irish revolutionary (who obviously would have been an aspirational Methodist with lovely manners and a crushing case of Protestant Guilt), prevented me. There are no good textual renditions of Oirish speech (John Millington Synge is a huge pain in the bum). The best is described but no rendered by James Joyce, when noxious aesthete Stephen Dedalus goes weak-kneed in horror at some Belfast student saying the word ‘science’ in one syllable. It’s typical Joyce, euphonious, exact and unmistakably a snooty genius who is also a Free State gobshite.

“Sean Clayton (41st Over) is absolutely right. Banjaxed is a glorious word. Though like almost all Irish slang it can also be a synonym for really very drunk indeed.”

Speaking of which, I still think Ireland are going to win this.” Exemplary optimism Robert.

57th over: Ireland 229-6 (McBrine 20, Adair 43) Not much to report.

56th over: Ireland 227-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 42) A hearty Leach appeal against Adair for lbw, duly ignored. Adair then sweeps a very wide ball down to the rope. And another, landing in the hedgerow with the old conkers, helped on its way without too much effort.

“I don’t know if others have already made this point, and I’m sorry to be a grumpy old git,” we forgive you Steve Nicholson, “but we hear a lot about Ben Stokes and England being committed to providing entertainment. Surely the crowd yesterday (both live and on tv) would have loved to be entertained by watching Brook and Bairstow and Stokes batting. And what about people who have tickets for today (and tomorrow) who would like to be entertained by a full day’s play - which they probably won’t get? Declaring as Stokes did has actually cut down quite a lot of possible entertainment. Imagine the RSC .declaring at the end of the second Act of Hamlet!

“I believe there was a time (before I started watching .in the 1960s) when if a test match finished early the players would then play a short ‘beer’ match (probably the equivalent of The Hundred) to stop the crowds from feeling short-changed. . No chance of that now.”

Updated

Afternoon session

55th over: Ireland 216-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 3e) Broad takes the ball after lunch, though lots of people are still munching in the stands. A very tasty looking cheeseboard is passed between friends. The over passes safely by.

No surprises in the Ashes squad, though Foakes must still be smarting, and Josh Tongue extremely happy.

A peanut butter sandwich in the garden, and now the players are back in the middle alongside a tweet that I missed from earlier:

England's Ashes squad announced for the first two games

Ben Stokes (Durham) Captain

James Anderson (Lancashire)

Jonathan Bairstow (Yorkshire)

Stuart Broad (Nottinghamshire)

Harry Brook (Yorkshire)

Zak Crawley (Kent)

Ben Duckett (Nottinghamshire)

Dan Lawrence (Essex)

Jack Leach (Somerset)

Ollie Pope (Surrey)

Matthew Potts (Durham)

Ollie Robinson (Sussex)

Joe Root (Yorkshire)

Josh Tongue (Worcestershire)

Chris Woakes (Warwickshire)

Mark Wood (Durham)

Updated

Time for me to dig out some lunch, as Lord’s gives an appreciative reception to McBrine and Adair as they leave the field.

An Ireland fan celebrates a 6 from Ireland's Mark Adair.
An Ireland fan celebrating a 6 from Ireland's Mark Adair. Photograph: Ben Whitley/INPHO/Shutterstock

Updated

54th over: Ireland 215-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 32) Leach wheels through a last over before lunch. McBrine defends away, the sniff of buttered chicken in his nostrils. Ireland still trail by 137, but keep the game going into the afternoon.

53rd over: Ireland 215-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 32) The penultimate over of the morning is Tongue’s. McBrine plays and misses with every bone of his body. A smiling Chris Woakes walks around the boundary edge without a bucket hat – if he can’t carry it off, there is no hope for the rest of us.

52nd over: Ireland 211-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 29) Jack Leach is back – his previous absence a false alarm – McBrine offers no shot to his last delivery as he pushes his pad out. Big appeal from Leach, Bairstow doesn’t look convinced and Stokes wafts the DRS away – rightly as the replays show.

51st over: Ireland 211-6 (McBrine 19, Adair 29) Ollie Pope is hit on the shins at short leg as McBrine pulls Tongue vigorously.

More enlightenment, this time from Simon Fuller – thank you!. “Re over 34 and Ben Stokes’ non-contribution. In club cricket it’s known as a TFC, thanks for coming. I’ve had plenty of them!”

50th over: Ireland 208-6 (McBrine 17, Adair 28) Root takes a proper tonking – Adair four through backward square, six waffled into the Grandstand and four deftly swept – as the deficit drops below 150 and Ireland reach their highest Test score against England in men’s cricket.

49th over: Ireland 192-6 (McBrine 15, Adair 14) Tongue continues to bowl mostly short, as the blueprint must say. But England nearly snare Adair, who tries to pull but can only drag the ball just short of mid-on.

Aha, we have an identity for the crowd catcher in the Grandstand. With thanks to Romeo: “The guy in a red tie and shades who took the catch in the Grandstand is(as Sky belatedly realised) the one and only Andrew Leonard, my and all of Nepal’s favourite cricket commentator, who I think really should be doing this game.

”He’s quite a legend in Nepal, from his commentary on icc.tv of associate
cricket, (particularly in Kathmandu).

48th over: Ireland 191-6 (McBrine 15, Adair 13) If Ireland can just hang on for twenty minutes, the punters can enjoy their lunch at the proper time, though I’ve heard reports of champagne corks at ten to eleven. As Root reels through his over, the television cameras show Stephen Fry and Tim Rice chewing the fat together.

Stephen Fry and Tim Rice in the stands.
Stephen Fry and Tim Rice in the stands. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

47th over: Ireland 190-6 (McBrine 15, Adair 12) Tongue mostly continues with the short stuff, and McBrine pulls rather elegantly to the fine leg boundary.

Hi Tanya. Jeremy Boyce, hello! “I am “enjoying” the barrel shoot commentary, but not so much the England boys’ choice of headgear. Unlike their Test cricket, they are just slightly behind the wave there, the return of the bucket hat was last summer, all the cool people have moved on now that you can get them in M&S and Top Shop. Hope they didn’t get too many manufactured for the merchandising options ?”

“As it goes, in cricket, the cap is the preferred option (even when bowling, see G Boycott), and there is frankly no smarter piece of headgear in the game than the Baggie Green. It never changes, and neither does the level of intensity in their Ashes teams. A new hat does not necessarily guarantee success, their cricket is not about following fashion, it’s about BEING fashion. Or perhaps the England boys are hoping to get this one done with in time to go and join the Man Cit£h fans up at Wembley, where they can all bucket hat together in perfect harmony ?”

46th over: Ireland 184-6 (McBrine 9, Adair 8) Joe Root gets some ping – two glorious cover drives for four by McBrine, before Adair slams him for six and then sweeps four more.

45th over: Ireland 165-6 (McBrine 1, Adair 2) Apologies, I was wrong about Tongue’s beard that with a closer look isn’t a complete circle but a moustache on the top list and a semi-circular beard under the chin. Unsure if this has a name. Anyway, he has been instructed to send down some chin music, and duly does, fast and with some venom. Adair and McBrine survive.

Phil Sawyer, hello! “Currently stuck on a packed National Express coach for eight hours”… many sympathies…” due to lack of trains, which is as much fun* as it sounds. Anyway, I find it curious that so many cricket lovers bemoan the death of test cricket but decry attempts to widen the range of nations playing it. How else are new nations going to experience the standard they need to reach? Others have had to go through these growing pains: New Zealand, Bangladesh, England 1998....

44th over: Ireland 163-6 (McBrine 0, Adair 1) Root collects a wicket for his stash, and with James McCollum unable to bat, England have just three more wickets to take.

WICKET! Campher c Stokes b Root 19 (Ireland 162-6)

Three balls later, Campher is gone too, sweeping to short fine leg where Ben Stokes takes the ball with bended knees and in obvious pain. He throws the ball away and hobbles to celebrate. Ooof, he doesn’t look like a man ready to bowl, or run quick singles.

Campher is caught by Stokes (not shown) off the Root as Bairstow and Pope react.
Campher is caught by Stokes (not shown) off the Root as Bairstow and Pope react. Photograph: Ben Whitley/INPHO/Shutterstock
A grimacing Stokes returns the ball after taking the catch.
A grimacing Stokes returns the ball after taking the catch. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images
Ben Stokes after taking the catch.
Ben Stokes after taking the catch. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

43rd over: Ireland 162-5 (Campher 19) Tector can’t believe that of all the places to cut Josh Tongue, he picked out Brook. He leans over his bat in despair before trudging off. Had just received a standing ovation from a Saturday-happy Lord’s crowd.

WICKET! Tector c Brook b Tongue 51 (Ireland 162-5)

Just after reaching a super fifty, Tector guides a wide fat one from Tongue into Harry Brook’s tummy at backward point, who grabs it second time.

Tongue celebrates with Brook and teammates after taking the wicket of Tector.
Tongue celebrates with Brook and teammates after taking the wicket of Tector. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

42nd over: Ireland 158-4 (Tector 48, Campher 18) With Leach off the pitch, it is Root again, still as boyish as ever. No fireworks and just one off the over.

“Morning Tanya, hope all’s good with you.” Hello Tom Hopkins!

”I feel like England are really missing Jimmy in this Test. Surely someone of his age and experience could have let them know that bucket hats were a rubbish look the first time around are are in no need of a revival?”

Agreed, very tricky to pull off. Even 1930s matinee idol Ollie Pope looked like a mushroom this morning. A floppy hat a la Shane Warne is so much more forgiving.

Updated

41st over: Ireland 157-4 (Tector 47, Campher 18) After drinks, Josh Tongue takes up the attack – with the news that Jack Leach has gone off the pitch, and has not returned. Tongue wears a slight brown beard in a semi-circle from lip to chin. Campher isn’t perturbed by the change in bowling and drives Tongue for successive boundaries – an overpitched half volley is sent through the cover, the next mishit through mid-on.

“Afternoon from sunny Mallorca, your Tanyaship.” Do go on Sean Clayton.

“There may be more precise phrases ‘as Gaelige’ but in Hiberno-English, nothing would sum up a collapse better than “Well, that’s the innings thoroughly banjaxed”...

40th over: Ireland 148-4 (Tector 46, Campher 10) Ben Stokes puts his hand in the Bazball lucky dip and pulls out Joe Root. Campher plonks and swings, smashing the ball into the Grand Stand where it is taken smartly by a guy in a red tie and shades. He takes a little bow. Drinks.

David Warner to retire at the New Year Sydney Test

39th over: Ireland 139-4 (Tector 43, Campher 4) Potts does get another, he’s a perfect highly-skilled workhorse – no long brittle limbs or knobbly knees. Just a single.

And in Ashes related news, David Warner has announced his retirement at the Sydney New Year Test – should he be picked.

Updated

38th over: Ireland 138-4 (Tector 42, Campher 4) Campher off the mark with an agricultural hoick off Leach. Tries to replay the shot and nearly loses his off stump.

37th over: Ireland 133-4 (Tector 41, Campher 0) A good stint by Potts this morning, nearly time for a rest. Just a single off the over.

36th over: Ireland 132-4 (Tector 40, Campher 0) Tector eyes up Leach, and takes him on, bashing him straight down the ground. Stokes looks pleased, Lord’s, a picture. A tantalising bottle of Sauvingnon blanc is being passed around in the Mound Stand.

Writes Tom Vd Gucht: ”I was trying to work out a Bazball 11 to send to James Wallace on the OBO yesterday, but got sidetracked when drawing up my list and reminiscing about how extraordinary players like Flintoff, Botham, KP etc were as they stood out fron the crowd and the norm. Does Bazball risk demeaning and reducing the impact of such exploits if they’re simply the norm? A bit like spoiling a quality TV show by bingewatching 47 episodes in a single weekend and it all blurs into one making you miss the nuances and subplots developing.”

Oooh, interesting idea. I feel you still have the top Bazballers rising to the top even in a Bazball era. And the Bazballers of old stand tall

35th over: Ireland 127-4 (Tector 35, Campher 0) Just a leg bye off Potts.

34th over: Ireland 127-4 (Tector 35, Campher 0) Shame that for Ireland, who had looked confident in the first 40 minutes. Excellent work by Leach once more. On TMS, Andy Zaltzman tells us that – should he not bowl again today – Ben Stokes will be the only Test captain in history not to bat or bowl in the match.

Updated

WICKET! Tucker b Leach 44 (Ireland 126-4)

Leach makes the breakthrough with his second ball as Tucker tries to sweep, gets down on his knees, but misjudges and gloves the ball onto the stumps. He gets a hearty and deserved round of applause for his efforts this morning. seven boundaries and a soupcon of up yours.

Jack Leach does for Lorcan Tucker.
Jack Leach does for Lorcan Tucker. Photograph: Michael Steele/Getty Images

Updated

33rd over: Ireland 126-3 (Tector 35, Tucker 44) Potts is making things happen: diving full length to his left in an attempt to collect a chip from Tucker. Got in wishing distance. Behind the stumps, Bairstow fumbles a ball deflected off the pads.

“The last three Test innings against Ireland are 591/6d, 704/3d and 524/4d,” writes a stern Marcus Abdullahi.In other words, they are conceding 140 runs per wicket. This is not good. In fact, it is not good at all.”

Updated

32nd over: Ireland 122-3 (Tector 34, Tucker 42) After Tucker drives him for four, Broad tries to wheedle a new ball off umpire Wilson, but he isn’t having any of it.

31st over: Ireland 116-3 (Tector 33, Tucker 37) Four to Tucker off Potts but not controlled, squared up and squeezed through the slips. But he’s got the taste, and flicks four more, fancy, wristy, to bring up the fifty partnership. Tector admires from the other end, yet to add to his overnight score.

“Good morning your Tanyaship!” I like your style Tone White, please contact my children.
”My son, the only family member who follows
Cricket, which he does with the aid of a television set, tells me how curious and charming it is to hear comments and assessments given with an Irish accent. Any chance you could provide some written brogue?
And what is Irish colloquial for a collapse - should one happen?
I’m counting on England having to bat again on day five!”

My lovely Irish sister in law would definitely not appreciate my attempts at brogue.

30th over: Ireland 107-3 (Tector 33, Tucker 28) Shot of the day by Tucker, who eyes up a wide one from Broad and slips out the most glorious cover drive for four, all perfect posture and tail coat style.

29th over: Ireland 102-3 (Tector 33, Tucker 23) Potts runs in ox-strong. Beats Tector with a beauty fifth ball that skims past the defensive bat, missing by a smooch. And another next ball that fizzes, darts and wobbles so much that Bairstow can’t take it cleanly behind the stumps.

“Good morning Tanya. What a beautiful day.” Hello Kim Thonger. And yes, perfect June.

“I think the Irish captain is perfectly positioned, if he acts swiftly, to take the following action. Declare now. Hold an after match press conference claiming that technically it is not an English victory but an Irish tactical concession, honours are in fact even, and then if every Irishman in the world continues to repeat that mantra in every bar in the world forevermore, it will gradually become the truth.”

28th over: Ireland 101-3 (Tector 33, Tucker 22) At the Nursery end, we have Stuart Broad, bandana in place. Ollie Pope vigorously polishes the ball on his trouser leg. Jack Leach mooches to himself and Stokes makes significant hand signals. A noball and a legbye take Ireland into three figures. Broad appeals vigorously for an lbw against Tucker but no-one else is that interested.

Stuart Broad appeals for the wicket of Lorcan Tucker.
Stuart Broad appeals for the wicket of Lorcan Tucker. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

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27th over: Ireland 99-3 (Tector 33, Tucker 22) Potts starts with a legside drifter that brings a leg bye. A single to Tucker and careful defence all round.

An email wings in and settles, all the way from Australia. Hello Ben Stechler!

“Hello there, Englishman living in Melbourne here.

”Interested to hear your/everyone’s thoughts on whether this warm up game for a big Ashes series is the right one…yes, plenty of chance to check out new personnel, but not sure if it’s a true reflection of their skills. We know the usual suspects have the talent to deliver, but it would have been good to see the gang tackle some, shall we say ‘more established’ opposition. With the Aussies facing India and getting a good look at form, is this more a morale boosting endeavour for England or valuable time out on the pitch?”

”Here’s to Jimmy’s fitness.”

I’ll leave that hovering for a minute as the players are out, short sleeved polyester sweaters for England, short sleeved woolies for Ireland.

I am at least two days behind with my hat observations – apologies, blaming half term.

Emma John’s lovely piece just got a shout out by Athers during a mini Cricket Writers on TV section in front of the Lord’s pavilion.

Great to see new faces Sonia Twigg of the Independent and Nathan Johns of the Irish Times alongside Mike Atherton and Mark Butcher.

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Hello Nick Way, whose email is titled “Bucket Hats.”

“With these bucket hats harking back to the 1990s, perhaps it should be renamed Bezball.”

Very good!

Bez and Shaun Ryder sing circa 1995
MadferBaz/Bez Photograph: Hayley Madden/Redferns

Updated

Injury to James McCollum

Bad news for James McCollum, injured last night, who is now wearing an orthopaedic boot and, according to a statement from Cricket Ireland, unlikely to bat.

“James underwent assessment and imaging last night at a nearby orthopaedic hospital. X-rays have revealed no fracture is present and we are awaiting on the reports from his MRI which is likely to show injury to his ligaments.

“He is currently in an orthopaedic boot and crutches and it is unlikely that he will take any further part in the match.”

Ollie Pope is being interviewed by Ian Ward. He’s very chirpy. He’s also wearing a blue England branded bucket hat. Very Madchester 1990. Is this a new bit of kit, part of the Bazball uniform? Apologies if I’ve missed something.

Preamble

Good morning! So we made made it to day three – much to the relief of the MCC, team OBO, the Ireland XI and my cousin Matt, who is going to Lord’s for the first time since he was a very little boy. This has been something of a steamrollering by England, playing a second-choice(ish) bowling XI but blistering along in the same merry way.

Lots for us to enjoy though, from Ollie Pope reaching his double century with a six to Stuart Broad’s five-fer and three wickets for debutant Josh Tongue as the shadows stretched last night.

Not so fun for Ireland, but they now have a Lord’s Saturday, and presumably a full house, to bask in. Tector and Tucker have an unbroken stand of 34 under their belts. Bat out the first hour, till lunch, till drinks …

I’m off to wheeze round parkrun with a friend, in the chatting not racing section. Back with coffee half an hour or so before play starts at 11am BST. See you then!

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