![Stuart Broad says goodbye.](https://media.guim.co.uk/6e86d437288722ca237dc238bb3a3ad401b8a34d/0_180_5403_3242/1000.jpg)
Barney Ronay on Chris Woakes
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Brendon McCullum is talking now, saying how pleased he is. “Incredible,” he says. “Remarkable. I don’t want it to end, I just want to go round again, it’s been an incredible ride.”
He praises serval players including England’s player of the series. “The series that Woakesy had was quite remarkable – the wickets he took today, hitting the winning runs at Headingley.”
Right on cue, the cameras find Chris Woakes holding up a fan’s phone. “Taking a BeReal,” says an authoritative voice on my sofa.
Time for me to sign off. It’s been a thrilling finish to an epic drama – the series with everything except a result in Manchester. So 2-2 it is. Which, as everyone keeps saying, is a fair reflection. And also, as they haven’t been saying, a crying shame.
Still, it’s been spectacular entertainment. England started shakily, rustily, and sharpened up their act. Australia started sharply and then wilted in the face of Wood and Woakes. Whatever was happening, the stories just kept on coming. As the credits roll, look out for the names of the scriptwriters – they surely include Stuart Broad.
To Australia, the Ashes; to Broad, the headlines. He’s in the crowd now, holding a bottle of champagne.
From the whole OBO team, a big thank-you for your company, correspondence, good humour and sheer love of the game. That, as ever, is the bottom line.
Hang on, here’s one last email. “Reading Peter Gibbs’ email,” says Phil Sawyer, “I’m a bit choked up. I too lost Mum unexpectedly six months ago, again no condolences needed.” Sorry to hear it all the same. “But she would have been first on the phone as well after this. Glass raised to both of our mums tonight.”
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“Just FYI,” says Malcolm McAdam, “this result means that even if Australia win the next series in England (in 2007?), their drought of Ashes wins in England will have lasted longer than England’s in Australia between 1987 and 2011. I know England’s dominance has not been near Australia’s in the years 1989-2003. But if you remember those long winless years of ritual humiliations at home and down under, that’s some reversal of fortune.”
“Edgbaston,” the next email begins. “As the dust begins to settle,” says George Wigley, “dare we go back to the declaration there? But maybe 2-2 is a fairer reflection of the quality of cricket played, and surely we’ve won the moral Ashes by having the Aussies saved from defeat by the Manchester rain? And thanks for the coverage - a convert since 2005!”
Moeen retires again!
Moeen is talking to Mel Jones. Surely, she says, you’d like to carry on after that … “No, I’m done,” he replies. “If Stokesy messages me again, I’m going to delete it.” Quote of the day.
Mo goes out of his way to praise Brendon McCullum – “so laid-back, my kind of coach” – and the young players, who, for England, are all batters. “I think Zak’s a really special player.”
Another good email, with apologies to everyone whose words I haven’t even read yet. “Tim.... thanks mate. Sorry to say that Mum passed six months after I last wrote to you. A long time now so no condolences needed.” Still, feeling for you. “Broad was her favourite. She would have spat out her teeth in joy had she been here. And the language would have been profane in the extreme.
“Go well all of you. Rob and Geoff especially, and you. Wonderful WONDERFUL!!!” Too kind.
The email is signed, “Peter Gibbs. Aged 10 years older than this morning.”
Stokes and Cummins hold the trophy together
A silver trophy is presented to … both captains! That must be for the series, rather than the Ashes. Where’s the urn? Ah, there it is. Small but perfect formed.
Pat Cummins picks it up and the Aussies gather round him, but no champagne is sprayed and the feeling is muted. “Slightly hollow for sure,” says Ricky Ponting.
Here’s Pat Cummins, with a genial smile. “Ben Stokes says it’s a fair reflection, would you agree?” asks Mike Atherton. He would. And no, they didn’t think about trying to play for a draw here at the Oval. “We wanted the win. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be, but what a great series.
“The crowd, the media, you get everything thrown at you. You wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Woakes on Test cricket and franchise cricket: “You don’t get this feeling anywhere else in the world”
— Alison Mitchell (@AlisonMitchell) July 31, 2023
You don’t, Chris, and neither do we❤️
Pretty contented, says Stokes
Here’s Ben Stokes, bearing alliteration. “Two-two is a fair reflection of two teams that have been going toe to toe. Australia, world Test champions, absolute quality team. Being two-nil down after two games, I don’t think many teams would have been able to respond in the manner like we did. Yeah, pretty contented about everything we’ve achieved in the last seven weeks.
“It was do-or-die again, it has been since the first two games. It really suits our mentality.”
We interrupt this presentation ceremony to bring you a good spot. “Probably sums the series up,” says Rob Smyth, “that only one of the four victories came off the back of a first-innings lead. Can’t be much precedent for that.”
The player of the match is Chris Woakes. And he’s also England’s player of the series, even though he wasn’t required for the first two Tests – so he was unbeaten, as was his car-pool mate Mark Wood. “Couldn’t have asked for it to go much better,” Woakes says.
And Australia’s player of the series is Mitchell Starc. He was the leading bowler on either side with 23 wickets, one more than Broad, though there were a few days when he went round the parc.
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Time for the presentations. The England Test player of the summer is… Joe Root. Bit of a surprise!
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For some reason I haven’t quite found time to go through the mailbag, but the first one I turn to is a heart-warmer. “Just wanted to send a massive ‘thank you’ from this Canuck to everyone in the OBO team,” it begins. “Have just gotten into cricket and I can think of no better introduction to the game than following along with this Ashes: a battle of philosophies, debates over the spirit of the game (a concept familiar enough to a curler like me), praying to the weather gods, and the retirement of a legend. What a series! Sin that the rain in Manchester spoiled the chance for a comeback of historic proportions after a few early stumbles, but couldn’t be happier for Broad on his fairytale ending. Thanks once more. Your new loyal fan, Ben Whitehouse.” Ahh, thank you Ben. It’s our pleasure.
That magic moment
And here is Stuart Broad’s last ball as a professional cricketer. At least until he gets a phone call from Ben Stokes next year.
A fairytale ending for a legend of the game.
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 31, 2023
Broady, thank you ❤️ #EnglandCricket | #Ashes pic.twitter.com/RUC5vdKj7p
Absolutely wonderful, says Broad
“It was absolutely wonderful,” Broad tells Mel Jones. “Moeen and Woakes set the tone unbelievably… The crowd was just wonderful, it was so loud – we jumped on the back of the energy of the crowd. You wonder what your last ball will be, so to take a wicket to win an Ashes Test is pretty special.”
The ball he hit for six, he adds, was “the first one I’ve middled all year”.
Stuart Broad finishes with two wickets in this innings, 604 in his Test career, and 22 in the series. No offence to him, but that was the cherry on the top (the old cherry). The cake was provided by Chris Woakes, who grabbed four wickets when they came back on, and Moeen Ali, who played through the pain of a groin strain to take three. After the rain, poor old Jimmy Anderson never even got a go. Maybe Stokes isn’t such a softie after all.
![Stuart Broad waves to the crowd after the match.](https://media.guim.co.uk/50a68ff19c2153d529e814614c2fe1ded4ff1dac/0_0_7302_4867/1000.jpg)
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The 2023 Ashes finish, just as the 2019 Ashes did, in a 2-2 draw. And this was an even better series.
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Australia 334 all out, Broad two for 62
The end of a great effort by the Aussies. The end of a great career for Stuart Broad. He’s even taken his bandana off.
He walks off, quite rightly, with Moeen Ali, who may well be retiring too (for the second time).
Broad has done it! England win the match and draw the series (Carey c Bairstow b Broad 28)
A nick, a catch for Bairstow, and Broad has done it. The fairytale is complete.
![Stuart Broad celebrates the wicket of Alex Carey to win the match.](https://media.guim.co.uk/71bf1b53982b89125bb2097df27be064db76062e/0_0_5221_3482/1000.jpg)
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93rd over: Australia 334-9 (Carey 27, Hazlewood 0) The sun comes out to see what’s happening, and Hazlewood survives a whole over from Mo. In fact, he cuts him for four! Australia need another 50.
Crawley drops one!
92nd over: Australia 330-9 (Carey 27, Hazlewood 0) Broad continues – well, I did tell you Stokes was a big softie. It’s Carey’s turn to play and miss at one of those lifters. And then he nicks it – and Crawley can’t cling on!! The first one he’s dropped all series. It hits him on the wrist as he goes low to his right at second slip – “he actually went too far,” says Ricky Ponting. The last ball is another play and miss, so Broad has given someone a full over at Hazlewood.
“What a spell,” says Nasser Hussain. Australia need 54 more.
91st over: Australia 329-9 (Carey 27, Hazlewood 0) Mo continues, as he will until midnight if need be. Carey tries a reverse sweep, for the first time today I think, and misses. A few dots, then Carey takes the single on offer in the covers. Mo to Hazlewood, with five catchers prowling. Hazlewood is up to the challenge, meeting the last two balls with a dead bat. Proper cricket!
91st over: Australia 329-9 (Carey 27, Hazlewood 0) And that’s the end of the over, so Broad can let Mo get the last one and still finish his bowling career with a wicket, just as his batting finished with a six. The scriptwriters are back on form.
WICKET!!! Murphy c Bairstow b BROAD 18 (Australia 329-9)
Broad tries a bouncer to Murphy, who is equal to it, playing a high-class pull for four. Broad takes the point, pitches the ball up again, beats him, then beats him again, albeit with a slower ball that bounced before it reached Bairstow. Broad changes the bails. And it works! That old bail magic! Murphy finally nicks one.
In their box, Broad’s entire family go crazy. Don’t drop the baby!
![Stuart Broad celebrates the wicket of Todd Murphy.](https://media.guim.co.uk/338fb585238a95b09268b4b0223dcaad2afb4980/0_270_4970_2984/1000.jpg)
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90th over: Australia 323-8 (Carey 26, Murphy 13) It’s still Moeen, who has now bowled 21 overs, three for 65 – make that 71 because Carey has just hit him for six! Down the track, right to the pitch, big swing, straight drive, great shot. That’s the first six of the innings, which suggests that Carey, whatever you may say about his stumpings, has a hell of a temperament. Australia need another 61.
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89th over: Australia 315-8 (Carey 19, Murphy 12) Just as the commentators wonder if he’s trying too hard, Broad produces another beauty, taking off from the corridor of uncertainty. He is trying too hard: that was far too good for Murphy.
88th over: Australia 313-8 (Carey 18, Murphy 11) Murphy has a heave at Moeen, doesn’t get hold of it – but it has enough height to loop over Crawley at mid-off and he can’t quite back-pedal fast enough to catch it. Australia need another 71.
Are you old enough to remember when Steve Smith was caught by Crawley? Rob Smyth points out that Smith has still never made a hundred in the fourth innings of a Test (“four fifties since 2016”). Mind you, Jimmy Anderson hasn’t won a Test against Australia for eight years.
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87th over: Australia 309-8 (Carey 16, Murphy 9) If Australia are going to steal this match, Carey is going to have to make about 60. He has it in him, as he confirms by cover-driving Broad for three. The crowd is willing Broad to take a wicket, but it refuses to happen, even when he bowls a yorker at Murphy, doggedly dug out.
The cameras find the guy who has come to the party as the Ashes urn. Even he is wearing a bandana.
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86th over: Australia 306-8 (Carey 13, Murphy 9) Moeen continues with four men round the bat – but nobody at very silly mid-on, which is where Murphy pops a chance. That’s a maiden, not that it should matter. Australia are just showing signs of a fightback, and the tension is delicious.
Chapter and verse.
The collapse pic.twitter.com/YGuF7FcEWq
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) July 31, 2023
85th over: Australia 306-8 (Carey 13, Murphy 9) Carey, facing Broad, takes a single off the first ball, whereupon Murphy changes gear and flips a classy glance over square leg for four. Have the scriptwriters for this series got one last twist up their sleeve? Australia need 78 more; England need two wickets.
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84th over: Australia 300-8 (Carey 12, Murphy 4) Carey pushes a single off the second ball of Moeen’s over, showing some faith in Murphy, which is repaid by some studious defence. Murphy had the second-best batting strike rate in the series this morning, behind Mark Wood, but he is now behind Crawley too.
83rd over: Australia 299-8 (Carey 11, Murphy 4) After warming up with three balls at Carey, Broad produces a ripper for Murphy – lifting, leaving him, too good for Warner, never mind Murphy, who misses it by about a yard. But Murphy has something about him and he manages a controlled edge for four, past third slip’s left hand. What would the score have to be for Stokes to post a gully?
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It’s Broad time! Woakes takes a breather after a fabulous spell, and the cameras suddenly find dozens of people in the crowd wearing bandanas.
82nd over: Australia 294-8 (Carey 10, Murphy 0) So here comes Todd Murphy, who showed in the first innings that he is a dangerous customer, happy to throw the bat. The crowd think he’s out first ball, caught by Root at slip, but Joel Wilson shakes his head, rightly, as Murphy’s firm drive connected with nothing but the ground.
Moeen now has three wickets in this spell and nine in the series. Another good punt from Stokes.
WICKET! Cummins c Stokes b Moeen 9 (Australia 294-8)
Another one for Mo! Bad ball, bad shot, good catch, great moment – Stokes, at leg slip, redeeming himself after dropping Smith. Cummins won’t be marshalling this run chase. And surely even England can’t blow it now.
![Pat Cummins plays a shot and is caught by Ben Stokes.](https://media.guim.co.uk/646a28d4e43fa515906111cbdb14fed0ff376cfc/0_315_5820_3492/1000.jpg)
![Ben Stokes catches Pat Cummins.](https://media.guim.co.uk/09f0598f535e8aa348ee3bd03fcf443979e26e70/2_357_4497_2700/1000.jpg)
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81st over: Australia 293-7 (Carey 9, Cummins 9) Stokes declines to take the new ball, preferring yet another over from Woakes. Both might be good… Cummins hits his first four, a dab wide of the slips, almost a late cut. Woakes goes round the wicket and the change of angle unsettles Carey, who cuts and misses. Australia need another 91; England need three wickets.
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80th over: Australia 287-7 (Carey 8, Cummins 4) Mo thinks he’s got Carey, just like Marsh – only to see a top-edged sweep land just out of the reach of Woakes, running round to his right from deep backward square. He may be The Wizard but he can’t do everything. The target is below 100 – Australia need 97.
79th over: Australia 284-7 (Carey 6, Cummins 3) It’s still Woakes, bowling his seventh over since the rain. He beats Pat Cummins but can’t find the edge. Cummins won’t be a pushover, as he showed in marshalling the run chase at Edgbaston. I suspect Stokes won’t be bowling Root at him this time.
The collapse was four wickets falling for 11 in 19 balls. And it didn’t involve so much as a mention of Broad or Anderson. Sport moves on fast.
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78th over: Australia 282-7 (Carey 6, Cummins 2) So will the Aussies just roll over? Not necessarily. Carey plays Moeen well, sweeping for four and one. Mind you, Marsh did that too. Australia need 102 more to win.
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77th over: Australia 277-7 (Carey 1, Cummins 2) All the sevens… But more importantly Woakes has four for 43 today, and 19 wickets in the series at an average of 17.78. And he only got the call halfway through. Magnificent stuff.
What a collapse it has been from the Aussies. That’s England’s job!
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Starc, who’s had an excellent series, finishes with a silver duck. Woakes pushed it across him, he got a classic nick, and Crawley took the catch by his right hip as if it was just fielding practice in the morning.
![England's Zak Crawley takes a catch to dismiss Australia's Mitchell Starc off the bowling of Chris Woakes.](https://media.guim.co.uk/a7793d1aba3b82efaaba3fd53d11595c0634971e/0_88_2922_1754/1000.jpg)
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WICKET! Starc c Crawley b Woakes 0 (Australia 275-7)
Another one bites the dust.
76th over: Australia 274-6 (Carey 0, Starc 0) So England have the two scalps they most wanted, Head and Smith, plus the bonus of Marsh, who scores fast. (And who walked, which was sporting of him.) As the sun comes out, let’s acknowledge that Stokes got it exactly right with his choice of bowlers after the rain. With the old ball moving for Woakes, England may not even take the new one.
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Public-service announcement
Australia have lost three wickets for ten runs in 15 balls.
That was the catch of Bairstow’s life. He basically grabbed it at short gully.
![England’s Jonny Bairstow takes a catch to dismiss Australia’s Mitchell Marsh off the bowling of Moeen Ali.](https://media.guim.co.uk/d55af74a8b12894d567a22a947edcd9c18fd9502/0_139_3467_2081/1000.jpg)
![Jonny Bairstow takes the catch of Mitchell Marsh.](https://media.guim.co.uk/6d64d7b2cb14368ddaa8ae913e7a3c8b9cf71028/0_108_5207_3126/1000.jpg)
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WICKET!! Marsh c Bairstow b Moeen 6 (Australia 274-6)
Jonny Bairstow redeems himself!
75th over: Australia 274-5 (Marsh 6, Carey 0) Just before that, Smith spotted a shorter ball from Woakes and took a calculated risk with a pull for four. “Dissects the fielders beautifully,” said Mel Jones. Well, it was surgical, but I wouldn’t go that far.
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WICKET!!! SMITH c Crawley b Woakes 54 (Australia 274-5)
The big one! Woakes gets that away movement again and Smith can only send it to England’s safest pair of hands – Zak Crawley at second slip.
![England's Chris Woakes (right) celebrates the wicket of Australia's Steven Smith.](https://media.guim.co.uk/b4c86f25fea26a2fd919c73df723b3aeccca2cf6/0_0_3500_2334/1000.jpg)
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Fifty to Smith!
74th over: Australia 269-4 (Smith 50, Marsh 5) A triumph for Moeen, groin strain and all. Mitch Marsh comes in and is instantly busy, sweeping for four and then for a single. Steve Smith had just played a push to long-on and gone to his second fifty of the match, off 89 balls, with eight fours. He holds the key to this game.
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WICKET! Head c Root b Moeen 43 (Australia 264-4)
The breakthrough! Moeen tosses it up, tempts Head into the drive, gets some big turn out of the rough, and the catch is safely taken at slip. England needed that.
![Moeen Ali celebrates the wicket of Travis Head with Ben Stokes.](https://media.guim.co.uk/5fcfdb2df150277a89ee9365090e4d30fc717062/0_218_5236_3142/1000.jpg)
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A good line.
@TimdeLisle re 5 overs lost, does that mean the umpires lose some of their match fee…
— Matthew Valentine (@mvalen4304) July 31, 2023
73rd over: Australia 262-3 (Smith 49, Head 42) On the boundary, Mark Wood gives a boy an autograph. In the middle, Stokes joins Woakes on his walk back, having a word. Next ball, Smith cover-drives for four, and it wasn’t even a half-volley. Are you Crawley in disguise? Australia need 122 more.
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72nd over: Australia 258-3 (Smith 45, Head 42) Moeen continues and it’s England’s turn to hold a conference as they debate whether to review an LBW appeal against Head. “It definitely straightened,” says Nasser, but Mo is unconvinced and probably right to be, as England have only one review left.
HawkEye says Mo was absolutely right – the ball was going over the stumps, so England would have been up the creek without a review left.
Five overs lost!
The umpires have just met and then said something to Stokes. Apparently they miscalculated when they let it be known that there were 52 overs to be bowled. It should have been 47, and we’ve already had three of those, so now it’s 44. Cricket, eh.
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71st over: Australia 256-3 (Smith 44, Head 41) The Barmy Army start singing, although their tune of choice is “Barmy Army”, which may not be the way to galvanise the players. Woakes continues and the batters find three singles, the last one a pull from Head, more controlled than some of his efforts earlier in the series.
“Has Broad got one last spell in him?” asks Mike Atherton, speaking for the nation. “One last magical spell. What a story that would be.”
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70th over: Australia 253-3 (Smith 43, Head 39) It’s still Moeen, who does better. A single, a couple of dots, another single and then a really good ball, turning into Smith and beating his forward defensive. If only it hadn’t struck the pad just outside the line. Australia need 131 more runs.
69th over: Australia 251-3 (Smith 42, Head 38) Woakes is still in top form. The first ball of this over is another beauty, angled in, moving away late, beating Smith again. The second is the nip-backer, thudding into the thigh pad. The third is less good, a wild outswinger which Bairstow can only turn past the slips, conceding a bye. The fourth is another jaffa to Head, beating him outside off. He keeps calm, carries on and hits an on-drive for four! Good retort. But Broad must be desperate to bowl now…
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68th over: Australia 246-3 (Smith 42, Head 34) At the other end, flagrantly disregarding the OBO’s advice, Stokes sticks with Moeen. Well, he does owe him one. Head is straight on the attack, cutting for two, then glancing for three – leg-byes, in fact, and a good save by Root, diving into the sponge to flick the ball back to the next man. A single to each batter. Eight off the over, without liberties being taken: England can’t afford many more like that.
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67th over: Australia 238-3 (Smith 40, Head 31) Woakes starts with a wide one, easily left, although swinging away, to give England some hope. It’s followed by two better balls, making Smith play: he blocks both. And then the ripper – lifting and leaving Smith, beating the bat, making the crowd go ooh. Smith bounces back, getting well forward for the first time in the over to smother the movement, before adding one more solid block.
Stokes gave Woakes only two slips, which tells us he’s worried about the run rate.
The ball is in the hands of … Chris Woakes.
The players take the field and Stuart Broad gets one more ovation. It won’t be his last, even if he carries on not taking wickets. It’s lucky Theresa May is no longer prime minister, or we might have seen an emergency knighthood.
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Before the action resumes, a thought from John Starbuck. “While I believe in the Aesop-style Tortoise and the Hare fable as the appropriate analogy for this series,” he says, “what really wrecked it was the decision to cram a five-Test sequence into such a short time. Bowlers, in particular, had little time to recover and that’s why there have been so many injuries on both sides. The moneymen, in trying to squeeze cash out of a short series (so as to enable more matches in other formats), have just about killed the golden goose, to go to a different story. Let’s hope that, by the time the next Ashes comes around, they will have learned the lesson about quarts and pint pots.” Agreed – though the captains and coaches could surely have done some more rotation. Josh Tongue was robbed!
“You Are The Captain,” says Thomas Atkins. “You’re Ben Stokes. It’s 6:30pm. Australia are 6 or 7 down and need 50-odd. The murk’s drawing in and the umpires have told you that you can only bowl spinners from here on out. Do you take the honourable draw and 2-1 defeat or do you go all in and chuck the ball to Root and a crocked Moeen Ali?” You’re Ben Stokes! You put Root or Moeen on at one end and yourself at the other, bowling the off-breaks that you practised in the nets before the game. Or leg-breaks. Or, if Alex Carey is batting, a bit of under-arm.
Unexpected sighting in the Oval area: the sun. If play does resume at 4.20pm, we will have lost 18 overs, which means there are 52 to go, in theory. Even with a white ball, that would take until about 8 o’clock.
An email with a few levels to it. “I am traveling with family to South India,” says Pramith Pillai, “to perform rites for my dad who died seven years ago this month.” Ah, feeling for you. “You, James, others I missed and the OBO legend Rob Smyth were like a rock I could cling on during this unpredictable & memorable Ashes journey. I hate the month of July, but you lot and both these teams made it a lot more bearable.” Too kind. But quite right about Rob, who never seems to know how good he is.
“Let’s hope Smithy gets enough time to win this match for the Aussies.” No comment. “Thanks again for everything.” Our pleasure. “Looking forward to more posts on your United Writing substack. Take care.” Now you’re going too far, but thanks. And I hope the rites go as well as they can.
Asking for a friend.
Where’s Derek Underwood when we need him? pic.twitter.com/DgKUu7gCpy
— Simon O'Hagan (@SimonOHagan) July 31, 2023
Play will resume in 20 minutes
…. as long as there’s no further rain.
“It’s England,” says Christopher Pickles, “so at any time, however well you are playing, the weather can intervene. So you can’t afford to be matches down, certainly not 2-0 down. The only time in the Ashes that a team came back to win from 0-2 was in Australia, 1936-37, where at that time all Tests were timeless. In England it was never realistically on.”
Well, some of the drama Stokes laid on for us last year wasn’t realistic either. Realism isn’t really his genre, but I do take most of your point. England messed up badly by losing the first Test, knowing that Australia always raise their game at Lord’s. They didn’t leave themselves enough margin for weather.
“Boycottian optimism?” says the next email, which is one way to catch the eye of the copy-taster. “Anticipating a marathon session to finish the series after an early tea,” says Tony Killen, “and trying to think positive thoughts around that favourite old saying of Boycott’s: ‘Just think how it would look if there were two quick wickets to go down’.”
If they were Smith and Head, England really would be favourites.
WinViz doesn’t always take account of the weather, but it is now. In fact, it’s where the action is. Latest percentages: England 44, Australia 29, the draw 27. Like Stokes, their algorithm is placing a lot of faith in some elderly seamers.
Inspection at 4pm!
The umpires will hold an inspection at 4pm, in about 15 minutes. The covers are being removed, a process which, at some grounds, means lots of wheels turning. At the Oval, it’s more like changing the sheets on the kingsize bed you bought in the sales and now secretly regret.
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“New ball, yes, another one,” John Jones points out, “in 14 overs. The most English of English conditions and the lights on. And you think Australia can do it? If so it will be one of the most remarkable wins in their history.” It will!
And you’re right, a lot hinges on the conditions now. Let’s work out who Stokes should open with… He needs to keep Woakes and Broad fresh for the new ball, so how about two overs each for them. Then Anderson and Wood – or Stokes himself, with his golden arm and his busted leg.
“So,” says Jeremy Boyce, “we will soon know how all the loose ends of this series and match will tie up to bring us to a conclusion. Except that ‘denouement’ means exactly the opposite, the untying of all the knots and putting the ‘string’ in order. Who has tied who in knots in this series? They have both done it to each other and there is still time for more ’twixt cup and lip.
“I have to say, I’m not sure the timing of the Bandana Bomshell on live TV exactly helped the England lads focus next morning. Like David Bowie killing off Ziggy live on stage before the band even knew. Of course Ziggy/Bowie went on to greater things, whereas the band (who were a similarly unique and great bunch of lads)...” Ha.
Bowie was a well-liked boss but a ruthless one. In the mould of Eoin Morgan, though possibly more tolerant on the drugs front. Ben Stokes is not so ruthless – in fact, behind that rugged exterior, he’s a big softie.
A good question… and a persuasive answer.
@TimdeLisle Hey Tim, if The Oval Test goes to draw because of all the overs lost to weather, which team would lament more, ENG or AUS?
— Penwhale/ソフ (@penwhale) July 31, 2023
I think it's got to be ENG because they had enough time to try to bowl AUS out and yet got no wickets yesterday.
The rain has ... eased!
We have another component of a cliffhanger: the good old British weather. “Better news,” says Ian Ward. “The rain has eased.” Go on… “We could have the prospect of taking an early tea.” Classic.
Some overs will be lost, Ward adds, but there were 70 to go when the rain came. And (this is me speaking, not him) Australia won’t need anything like that to make 146 runs. They’ve found the right rhythm after the fiasco of Friday morning and should get over the line in 35 overs. So that, or thatabouts, is how long England have to get seven wickets. It’s a big ask.
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Afternoon everyone, thanks Jim and amen to that. We have one of the components of a humdinger: the result of the match, and therefore the series, is still in doubt. WinViz gives England a 45pc chance, Australia 31, the draw 24. Not sure that’s the right way round…
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That’s it from me for today. Tim de Lisle is here to take you through the rest of the afternoon and to close out the Ashes 2023 for the good ship OBO.
It’s been a real pleasure to cover this series, truly memorable. Thanks for your company, for keeping me entertained and on my toes. Let’s hope these clouds clear off and we get the humdinging finish this series clearly deserves. Over to you, Tim.
“I think we’re about 20 minutes ahead of Oval weather.'..”
Writes Nick Holmes in leafy Wimbledon.
“You’ll be glad to know rain is easing off, and it’s brightening up as I look out of the window.”
It is a bit brighter here too, the rain is very light and the clouds have lifted a touch. It’ll still be a bit of a clean up job after the rain has moved on through to get everything ready for play though. Hopefully there will be a full and extended session after tea.
“I have been absolutely enthralled by this series, the best since or maybe better than 2005.”
Certainly worth a discussion isn’t it, Jeremy Yapp? Be good if this weather would buggar off though.
“I am Australian, living in the UK these past 16 years, so I ought to be partisan about this but I can’t imagine going back to watching Test cricket without this England team playing it. They have been joyously, flamboyantly, slightly cantankerously brilliant. And Stuart Broad has been my favourite playing cricketer (men’s game) since Ponting retired.”
“I’d be quite happy if the series just ended now with Australia winning 2-1.”
emails Kevin Wilson
“I think they would’ve won this Test without the rain (and still might!) and they’ve been the better side, just, when it mattered. 2-1 seems a better reflection of the state of things than 3-1 or 2-2. England can take a lot of heart from the series still. Some big positives but some big question marks too (*cough* Jimmy).”
We’re going to have a lengthy delay here, I don’t fancy there will be any action in this afternoon session.
The OBO mailbag is positively brimming with plenty of discussion on some of the ‘issues’ we’ve seen in this series. It feels like more and more is said and written about the Ashes every time it comes around. Here then, is something I wrote* on the story behind the 39 words that started it all.
This by @Jimbo_Cricket is fascinating and new to me: the famous obituary that started the Ashes legend in 1882 was not only a comment on the death of English cricket but used as part of a campaign to make cremation legal, which happened three years later https://t.co/VS2IcwliHp
— Patrick Kidd (@patrick_kidd) July 26, 2023
*Forgive the icky horn tooting, it’s raining innit.
“The explanation that you just printed doesn’t work.”
Richard O’Hagan not letting me slip off the hook…
“Root and Crawley might not have been aware that Stokes dropped the ball, but Stokes was certainly aware and he was the one who signalled for the review. If there is any explanation it has to be either that they thought the review would overturn the decision that he didn’t have control of the ball, or that they were hoping the ball hit pad and then glove.”
Probably both isn’t it – they were desperate for a wicket, particularly that of Smith. I don’t have a problem with Stokes reviewing at all, especially with his teammates telling him he caught it. You see what you want to see in these moments, believe what you want to believe. It all happened so fast that it would have been madness not to have another look. As it stands, the right decision was made and England lost a review for the privilege.
Fair to say that Stuart Broad’s desire for a valedictory finish to his Test match career is dividing opinion amongst everyone. Go on, admit it – you’ve got a view don’t you?
Updated
Weather update: It is raining at the Oval and the covers are on. The radar has about an hour or so of this and then it is completely clear after 4pm. How are your nerves?
You can take the fifth Ashes Test out of September, but you can't take September out of the fifth Ashes Test
— Simon Burnton (@Simon_Burnton) July 31, 2023
Updated
“Hi James”
Hello to you Mark Pearson.
“The end result of the Stokes catch going down seems to be fairly unanimous (not out), but what about the lost review? If the umpire has given that not out because he didn’t think Smith made contact, then the dropped catch is irrelevant to the umpire’s decision. He hasn’t hit the ball, they don’t need to determine if a catch was made.
But if the umpire thought he did hit it, but didn’t think Stokes controlled the ball, wouldn’t they go upstairs to double check that themselves? It didn’t seem clear cut live that Stokes definitely wasn’t in control when the ball popped out.
As an Australian, I’d hate for this to go down as an incorrect decision by the umpires if England don’t have a review later and the Aussies go on to win the Test.”
I think this was what the conflab was as the players were walking off and Stokes was talking to the umpires. He wasn’t contesting the decision - you could see the disappointment etched on his face in the split-second after the ball had hit the floor, he knew what he had done. Rather, he was confirming with the umpires about whether England have lost a review. It seems they have. Umpire Wilson gave it not out on the field and therefore England lost a review when they asked to take another look, Root and Crawley in the slips weren’t quite aware that Stokes had lost the ball at the last and were adamant that Smith got a glove on it. They went upstairs and the grim realisation dawned on England’s players and their fans watching on the big screen.
Also: I think it's fine for that not to be an umpire review. Joel Wilson gets some stick, but if he's picked up what's happened in the moment, fair enough to rule it not out, and then it's England's choice to challenge
— Ben Gardner (@Ben_Wisden) July 31, 2023
It is dank and grey at the Oval, bruised skies lingering. It is so clearly optimum bowling conditions which has made Australia’s performance with the bat all the more impressive.
Gah, the players emerge but scarper shortly afterwards as the rain starts to fall.
As if we didn’t have enough to cope with already:
Incoming. Moving quickly at least pic.twitter.com/vgUxLF6NpL
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) July 31, 2023
“I can’t cope with the pressure. I’m off to bed. But I can’t help but feel there’s a number of plot twists still to come...”
Rowan Sweeney sent this from Down Under just before that incident.
“I haven’t played enough cricket to understand this, but why do players often either instantly sling the ball in the air, or occasionally just drop it on the ground after taking a catch? Maybe you can shed some more light on it for me? It feels like the sort of thing a youth team coach would drill into their players. Keep it in your hands for a few seconds. Remove any doubt.”
Yep, it is a celebration thing Mike Ward. As I mentioned below, it has happened before in a famous incident during the 1999 World Cup. After this incident cricket legend has it that Steve Waugh told Herschelle Gibbs - “You’ve just dropped the World Cup” – I didn’t see Smith mutter anything to Stokes… not his style and the moment spoke for itself.
I reckon we’ll be seeing it on Ashes montages for years to come.
Updated
BIG MOMENT: Smith dropped by Stokes, take a look for yourself.
Out or not out? 🤷♂️ #EnglandCricket| #Ashes pic.twitter.com/q2XCJuUpxM
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) July 31, 2023
LUNCH: Australia 238-3 (Aus require 146 runs to win)
Ben Stokes has dropped Steve Smith! Drama on the stroke of lunch – Moeen gets one to grip and it takes Smith’s glove and loops to Stokes at leg-slip… he takes the catch cleanly high above his head but the ball slips from his grasp as he brings his hand down and it flicks his knee. Shades of Herschelle Gibbs in the 1999 World Cup. The crowd cannot believe it. Stokes can’t believe what he has done – his body language was the giveaway, he didn’t have full control of the ball as it fell from his grasp like a bar of Imperial Leather in the shower. Wow. A huge let off for Smith and Australia. Scenes here at the Oval. Moeen sends down four dots as the crowd is still reeling at the replay. A single to Smith off the last ball. That is lunch.
What a morning of cricket.
66th over: Australia 238-3 (Smith 40, Head 31)
![Ben Stokes of England initially takes a catch to dismiss Steve Smith of Australia but ends up flicking his leg and drops the catch England's captain Ben Stokes jumps to take a catch after the ball flicks the glove of Australia's Steven Smith off the bowling of England's Moeen Ali, but after a review the catch is denied after the ball ends up flicking Stokes' leg and drops the catch.](https://media.guim.co.uk/596b74ce951e31547de6f233445af6146009c185/0_0_5775_3850/1000.jpg)
Updated
65th over: Australia 237-3 (Smith 38, Head 31) Wood sends down an over of short-stuff which restricts Australia to a single. There’s some drama coming up here…
64th over: Australia 236-3 (Smith 38, Head 31) Moeen gets too straight and is flicked away extremely fine for four runs. A hush descends over the Oval. Australia have stolen all the momentum back here and this partnership rattles into the 60s.
63rd over: Australia 231-3 (Smith 33, Head 31) Shot! Smith drives emphatically for four. Wood went full for a change and Smith leapt on it in a flash. England reeling a bit here, Australia looking more comfortable with every ball.
Updated
62nd over: Australia 225-3 (Smith 28, Head 30) A couple of singles off Moeen, England have the field set back, clearly concerned about how quickly this pair have been racking them up. We won’t have lunch until 1.25pm btw – due to the late start.
61st over: Australia 223-3 (Smith 27, Head 29) Mark Wood for a final blast before lunch. England look a bit weary, they’ll be the more glad of the two teams to get a break. Australia look confident, collecting runs with relative ease. Sharp! Wood thuds one into Head’s glove, the batter does well to keep it down and take a single to get off strike. Smith pulls away to the boundary rider for a single. I don’t want to give English fans the heebie-jeebies before they settle down for a sarnie but Smith is looking ominously imperious here.
60th over: Australia 221-3 (Smith 26, Head 28) Some shot from Steve Smith, he leans on a full-ish ball from Moeen and threads it with laser-like precision between two fielders in the deep. Close! Sharp turn back into the pads, Smith was a goner without the inside edge of his blade saving him. A tense hush settles over the ground as Moeen ambles in, everyone inside the Oval is rapt by the action. More grip and fizz, this time it goes down the leg-side and the Aussies scamper a couple. The target down to 163 needed for Australia.
59th over: Australia 215-3 (Smith 21, Head 27) Oh my days. Broad beats Head with a jaffa that leaves him at the last only to see his next ball flicked away nonchalantly for four behind square. Cat and Mouse. Stu and Trav. Head tries to hook a nifty bouncer and nearly gets a glove through to Bairstow. The crowd groan, it’s been a riveting morning of cricket. Here comes Moeen Ali for a bit of twirl before lunch.
58th over: Australia 211-3 (Smith 21, Head 23) More accurate from Anderson, four dots on a good length are followed by an excellent diving stop by Mark Wood at mid-on to keep Head to just a single. He crunched that. A false shot from Smith off the last ball sees an under-edge trickle to Bairstow.
@Jimbo_Cricket at what point do @SkyCricket change Target to To Win on the graphics!
— Adam (@adamreynolds28) July 31, 2023
Feel that collective ‘lurching’ when it does. What even is this game?
57th over: Australia 210-3 (Smith 21, Head 22) Broad goes a touch too full to Smith and he is crunched away through extra-cover for four. These two batters looking set and dangerous, the ridiculous pendulum swinging once again in this series.
Not wishing to alarm anyone…#BBCCricket #Ashes pic.twitter.com/JyrtMtXsMA
— Henry Moeran (@henrymoeranBBC) July 31, 2023
Not now weather!
Updated
56th over: Australia 206-3 (Smith 17, Head 22) What’s that fluttering sound? It’s the butterflies flapping their winds in the guts of 20,000 English cricket fans here at the Oval. Travis Head goes on the attack, a clip off the pads and a punch through the covers bring him back-to-back boundaries and the 200 up for Australia. FlutterFlutterFlutter…
Updated
55th over: Australia 198-3 (Smith 17, Head 14) Another good over for Australia, those three wickets got England back into the match but this is far from a done deal. Head gives a timely reminder of the fact by bunting Broad down the ground for four. We’ve got 30 mins and a crucial period of play heading here into lunch.
![Travis Head of Australia hits a boundary.](https://media.guim.co.uk/9f94d27fa4ff64cf1b20c34ed887ee809bb78b4c/0_208_4519_2712/1000.jpg)
![Ben Stokes of England shows a look of dejection after Travis Head of Australia hits a boundary.](https://media.guim.co.uk/c6100c4f64491f45f4dadb10b7793362488a1d5a/0_115_4288_2574/1000.jpg)
Updated
54th over: Australia 191-3 (Smith 16, Head 8) Australia fighting here, Anderson drops short and Head crunches a square cut for four! Two well judged singles make it six off the over and the green ‘n’ gold target ticks down to 193 runs.
“Hi Jimbo, it’s amazing how test cricket makes a religious man out of the cynical.”
Go on, Liam Grigg…
“Is it possible that God sent the rains to Manchester to spite England for their hubris and failure to accept defeat with good grace at Lord’s? But then may have gone a little overboard, so in his remorse sent the rain and a replacement ball that miraculously swings England’s way last night? It feels like some cosmic intervention to ensure a drawn series, which is what it deserves.
Yes, I’m obviously Australian but still thoroughly enjoyed the Guardian’s OBO feed for the past month and will not know what to do myself after this test is over. Probably sleep.”
God Bless ya Liam. Sleep sounds good too…
Updated
53rd over: Australia 185-3 (Smith 15, Head 3) Crikey. Broad replaces Wood and his first ball snakes off the pitch like an off-break. That went yards off the surface, beating Head’s forward poke by some distance. And again! Broad decks one past the edge and the slips and most of the crowd groan in unison. Head survives the over, somehow, and puts two onto the scoreboard.
According to our Expected Wickets model, this spell from Chris Woakes is the most threatening by any bowler in the 2023 #Ashes so far. Substantial movement, attacking the stumps - the England seamer has stepped up at a pivotal moment in the Test.
— The CricViz Analyst (@cricvizanalyst) July 31, 2023
Here’s some indication of how good that spell by Chris Woakes was. Sublime.
52nd over: Australia 183-3 (Smith 15, Head 1) Jimmy Anderson into the attack, replacing Woakes. You’d think the old master would be able to get the ball talking here. Shot! Steve Smith drives through mid-on for a disdainful boundary. He nailed that. Anderson strays onto the pads and gives away four leg-byes. Eight off the over, Jimmy still not at the races judging by that over.
Updated
51st over: Australia 175-3 (Smith 11, Head 1) Wood charges in, the crowd roar as he does so. Ooof! Plenty of swing, Smith does well to jam the bat down on a full ball in the nick of time. The players take a drink – England’s morning so far.
Dr Tom Simpson – Respiratory Physician gets in touch with a corker:
“Hi, It is a common misconception that yawning means tiredness or boredom. It’s actually a complex physiological process which can indicate imminent expected arousal or change in behaviour. Travis Head was obviously expecting to be walking out to bat very soon…”
Updated
50th over: Australia 173-3 (Smith 10, Head 0) Woakes goes full and Smith drives uppishly for four. A puff of dust flew up as the ball pitched in bowler footmarks. Luckily for Smith it was safely in the gap. Thanks for all your emails, I can see them spooling forth.
“Morning Jimbo, hats off to Kumar Dharmasena there for calling wides rather than byes. It was the dreaded seventh ball that did for Marnus. Shades of Freddie getting Punter at Edgbaston in 05”
I was thinking the very same Tim Doyle!
Updated
WICKET! Labuschagne c Crawley b Wood 13 (Australia 169-3)
Wild Wood! A bouncer is slammed into the middle of the pitch and it soars away over Bairstow for four wides… GONE! GONE! GONE! Marnus flinches at a good length ball and the edge is snaffled at second slip by Zak Crawley! A huge wicket! England are cock-a-hoop, Wood wheels away arms outstretched.
49th over: Australia 169-3 (Smith 6, Head 0)
![England's Mark Wood celebrates after taking the wicket of Australia's Marnus Labuschagne.](https://media.guim.co.uk/80cb62b381e8de5356e40bf623a43e68758192bb/88_431_5584_3352/1000.jpg)
![Australia’s Marnus Labuschagne leaves the field after losing his wicket to England’s Mark Wood.](https://media.guim.co.uk/7d04be6277f0da6f0074b5509d370133f40db55f/0_0_5611_3741/1000.jpg)
Updated
48th over: Australia 162-2 (Labuschagne 13, Smith 6) Woakes once more, he’s looked by far the most dangerous of England’s bowlers this morning and has two wickets to show for it. He’s pocketed 17 wickets so far in the series and only came in for the third Test at Headingley. Remarkable. Marnus tucks a full ball for a quick single. It’s got a tad murkier in south London, the floodlights beaming down on the action.
47th over: Australia 162-2 (Labuschagne 12, Smith 6) Wood comes charging in, he gets some steepling bounce that troubles Labuschagne on more than one occasion. His speed is down though, in the 85mph range, bowling fast is so bloody hard.
Tense start to the final day of an incredible series and Travis Head, in next, gets caught setting the record for world's longest yawn. I adore this man pic.twitter.com/8jYvGTFUTm
— Ethan (@ethanmeldrum_) July 31, 2023
Some of us are feeling the heat more than others.
46th over: Australia 160-2 (Labuschagne 12, Smith 4) Marnus looks in fine fettle, he clips Woakes through mid-wicket for a well timed boundary. This is the partnership England will be desperate to break - Smith and Labuschagne will be relishing this battle. A streaky drive from Manus gets him two more. A huge cheer goes up around the Oval. Why? Mark Wood is coming onto bowl.
45th over: Australia 154-2 (Labuschagne 6, Smith 4) Great shot from Marnus! Broad goes full and is pumped through extra cover for four. That’ll get this ball wet which could hinder the movement England have been able to benefit from this morning. Four byes to the Aussie total as Broad spears one down the leg side that gives Bairstow no chance to get a paw on.
From sick with worry to excitement @Jimbo_Cricket, that's what the Ashes does to you! Sitting here with my best mate Mel in the JM Finn running on fingernails after yesterday here. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be. What the hell do we do after today? I can't wait 4 years!
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) July 31, 2023
44th over: Australia 145-0 (Labuschagne 1, Smith 4) Steve Smith arrives at the crease with the Oval rocking. Woakes has the ball on a string, moving it both ways off the seam. Eeeesh! Smith gets a thick edge that runs away for four wide of gully. Do not adjust your set.
Final tallies
— Alan Gardner (@alanroderick) July 31, 2023
Khawaja - 496, 39.33
Crawley - 480, 88.72 https://t.co/odsdkJ0XRW
WICKET! Khawaja lbw b Woakes 72 (Australia 141-2)
Woakes strikes again and Khawaja has to go! Bit of zip off the pitch and thudding into the pads in front of all three stumps. Australia also lose a review as the DRS shows three reds. One brings two!
![Chris Woakes of England celebrates after taking the wicket of Usman Khawaja of Australia for lbw.](https://media.guim.co.uk/7a2d63c01b321a73db302a40ea645b1fcdd04259/0_293_5259_3155/1000.jpg)
Updated
43rd over: Australia 141-0 (Khawaja 72, Labuschagne 1) Plenty of movement on display. Broad gets the ball decking in prodigiously. England get excited by one that moves back into Labuschagne and burn a review. It pitched outside the line. Calm down, calm down.
The crowd gave Warner a nice (seriously) send off as he left the field for the final time in England.
A classic end to David Warner in England. Edging an incredible delivery from an English seamer. Wonderful to see the standing ovation from the entire Oval crowd #Ashes
— Bharat Sundaresan (@beastieboy07) July 31, 2023
Updated
42nd over: Australia 141-0 (Khawaja 72, Labuschagne 1) What an over from Chris Woakes! The Wizard gets a huge ovation as he takes his sweater from the umpire. Marnus arrives at the crease to replace Warner and is beaten immediately by an outswinger! How did he not nick that?! The rain induced rest seems to have done England’s bowlers and the wicket a bit of zip. Let’s not forget the ball change either…
Ball change after the first delivery of the 37th over last night shaping as a significant moment in this Test https://t.co/LSHINKlkQD
— Matt Roller (@mroller98) July 31, 2023
A clip to leg gets Labuschagne off the mark. The atmosphere is jacked here at the Oval.
WICKET! Warner c Bairstow b Woakes 60 (Australia 140-1)
Gone! Woakes gets Warner with an absolute beauty and England have their first! The Oval erupts, plenty of nervous energy in the celebration from players and fans.
![England's Chris Woakes celebrates after taking the wicket of Australia's David Warner.](https://media.guim.co.uk/91c5ce04262f4c3dc0439fd9345609f21e843c73/0_0_4939_3292/1000.jpg)
![Australia's David Warner walks off the pitch after losing his wicket to England's Chris Woakes.](https://media.guim.co.uk/e99ae5965706db2e51706ffd602bd7bab774c544/1109_86_3239_1944/1000.jpg)
Updated
41st over: Australia 140-0 (Warner 60, Khawaja 72) Lovely drive for a couple by Khawaja. Broad is then on the money with five dots, the last of which flies past the edge once more. It’s bubbling up here at the Oval.
“Hello from India, James. This weekend, we dropped off our 18yo at university. She was just born just before the 2005 Ashes, and my memories of nappy-changing are inextricably linked to KP, Warnie and others. This current epic series is also tinged with mixed emotions associated with one’s child becoming an adult, and preparing to fly the nest.”
Ah this is lovely, all the best to you Kandukuru Nagarjun.
40th over: Australia 136-0 (Warner 59, Khawaja 69) Australia open their account for the day, Warner nudging a single off Chris Woakes. Woakes scuds one into Khawaja’s pads and it is another huge appeal… NOT OUT. England decide against a review, I think they believe it pitched outside leg. Replays show it might have done, and also that there was sharp movement off the pitch. More signs of life in two overs for England than all of yesterday.
39th over: Australia 135-0 (Warner 58, Khawaja 69) The crowd roar the headband clad Broad to the crease… close! England go up for an lbw that was just slipping down… even closer! Broad beats the edge and stumps with a beauty that decks in an nips away at the last. You couldn’t have fitted a gnats eyebrow between Khawaja’s blade and the passing ball. There’s movement there on first glance, a maiden to start.
Here come the players! Stuart Broad to take the first over. The Oval springs into life!
Revised playing times:
1.10 - 13.25 Morning session
13.25- 14.05 Lunch
14.05 - 16.20 Afternoon session
16.20 - 16.40 Tea
16.40- 18.40 Evening session
98 overs for the day
Last hour will start at 17.40 or 83 overs whichever is later provided there is no further rain.
![Centre stage.](https://media.guim.co.uk/d734d17852673e8a23479b6db7f5ce856d6b2e57/0_66_4006_2404/1000.jpg)
Updated
Good news – the rain has stopped and we have some watery sunshine. The rope is being hauled around the outfield and the players are emerging. Crikey, stand by your beds!
“Morning Mr Jim”
Don’t mind it Mr Peter Gibbs.
“Have we been rope a doped? Australia have taken everything thrown at them and dare I say it, it looked like they were as capable of winning in Manchester as they are here.. Had England taken their catches and not played some silly balls I might be less suspicious by now but we might have been relying on the weather ourselves last time and maybe are a bit this time too.
Jeeze I hate this. Best summer of cricket in ages. What’s is WRONG with us??? Oh me of little faith…”
Fantastic Englishness on display here from Peter.
Hello “long time listener first time caller'” to Paul Dempster:
“Hi James, currently sitting on the platform at Brussels waiting for a very delayed Eurostar to depart. I bring news from the Australian newspapers, which I have followed while on holiday over here. The punters in the comments sections in those papers seem to all think that Australia will lose by virtue of being too soft, too woke, too unlike Allan Border (whatever that means to them).
This seems to ignore the fact that Cummins et al have retained the urn in England, just a few weeks after winning the world test championship. I’m glad to see the weird reactionary strain of Cultural Cringe Australianus found mainly among older male sports fans continues aplomb in my absence.
Hoping for an Australian victory today not because it would mean a series victory, but mainly in the hope that those sorts of people might look inwards for a minute or two.
Thanks for the summer of OBO, and enjoy the limited overs matches against NZ and Sri Lanka!”
It’s a sentiment shared by a good few of you, and it is an understandable take.
“Hi James,”
Hello to you Tim Beechey.
“As an Australian I have found the whole bazball thing quite irritating because of the odd attitude of entitlement and hypocrisy that has seemed to go with it. But the more I hear about how this style of play is supposedly saving test cricket (and one English commentator quipping that the Australians are trying to destroy test cricket) the more I wonder what will we be left with if bazball truly becomes ascendant? Should test cricket just be multiple one day innings stitched together? Isn’t part of the challenge and attraction of test cricket the strategy: pacing the game knowing that if you’re too quick you leave your opponent with plenty of time to win? Seems like saving chess by substituting the playing of a few games of checkers.”
Tim is never wrong.
#Ashes @Jimbo_Cricket With neither Wood nor Woakes firing on all cylinders, it looks as if England are down to one bowler who is fully fit and under 40: #StuartBroad. Cometh the hour!
— Tim de Lisle (@TimdeLisle) July 31, 2023
Back to Barney’s piece – this line made me snort into my skinny oat decaf flat white* this morning:
At times England’s bowling lineup looked like what it is here: a TV pundit, an injured bloke, an injured radio summariser, a dutiful wizard, an ageing red-zoned speed freak and a 41-year-old celebrating his birthday.
*
Mizzling again at the Oval, punters sheltering wherever they can. It’s the sort of rain that a Dinnerlady of your youth would have absolutely no qualms about marching you off the playground and into the nearest classroom for. We’ll have a delayed start here.
@Jimbo_Cricket Morning Jimbo! This is the end of my first ever Ashes series (age 37) and I have to say it’s been a blast! Do you think future series will be this much fun, or have I basically peaked and should give up watching cricket while I’m ahead?
— Zatchlas (@Zatchlas) July 31, 2023
Lovely, this. I reckon this side will keep you entertained for a few years yet.
Some punchy pre-play reading here from Barney Ronay:
Then, of course, Stuart Broad turned Sunday here into a Stuart Broad story, right from the start when he was sent out to hit a final commemorative six. Was this the right stuff, really, for the sharp end of the series, the guard of honour energy, the weirdly sensual and sombre Sky TV homages, as though covering the death of a much-loved global statesman in a suicide pact with the Blue Peter dog.
And really, why not just retire the day after the series ends? It is hard to imagine a more distracting way of doing this, a day of potentially era-defining Test cricket recast as the launch of a new media brand. There will be cries that one of England’s great Test bowlers needs a chance to wave goodbye. But why? This is not the Love Island finale. It’s a brilliantly engaging Test series with a knife-edge finish to come. Spare us the Viking funeral, just for now.
As ever, please do get in touch – the OBO is nowt without its readers. You can drop me an Email or tweet @Jimbo_Cricket with any thoughts – nuanced or simply BANG wrong – the mailbag is open to all. Within reason. I’m looking at you. Yes you.
Let’s do a little reflection, what have been your moments of the series?
Good news – it is brightening up a little here at the Oval. The Aussies are out on the field doing some soccerball shenanigans, England are doing a bit of catching practice. Just so bloomin’ orthodox these guys.
Bad news – we’re all going to be put through the emotional mangle for one last time. Wouldn’t have it any other way?
"It would be the second biggest chase in Australia's history and here in England!" 👀
— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) July 31, 2023
Australia need 249 runs to win the final Ashes Test and win the series 3-1! Will they do it? 😬 pic.twitter.com/f2tCgpdGDt
Updated
Grace and Spofforth reunited at The Oval, 141 years after the match that resulted in the beginning of the Ashes. pic.twitter.com/B9gNJhQaF0
— Andy Zaltzman (@ZaltzCricket) July 31, 2023
Preamble
Hello and welcome to the final day of Ashes cricket 2023. Remember that sun soaked day at Edgbaston back in mid-June? Feels about 22 years ago now… which coincidentally is the last time Australia lifted the urn on these shores.
Pat Cummins and his men need 249 more runs to pull off what would be an incredible victory and take the series emphatically 3-1. Ben Stokes and co require ten wickets to level it 2-2. It’s all boiled down to this final day in south London. It promises to be wild whatever happens… unless the weather intervenes (again).
It is currently – official term – mizzling at the Oval. It is very grey and dark too. We’ve got 50 minutes til the start time at 11am and the skies could well have cleared by then but I wouldn’t fancy them starting in these gunmetal conditions.
The forecast isn’t too bad actually, my sources tell me there should be plenty of play across the day. Here’s hoping.
All results are possible then as we step for one final time into the breach. Here, take my hand, let’s jump in together.
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