Man. I don’t think anybody had Twitter shutting down in 2022, but, uh, it’s definitely within the realm of possibility.
Things are falling apart pretty quickly and the jokes are flying in. Even now reports are surfacing about Elon Musk shutting Twitter HQ down until November 21st while also requesting certain engineers come to the 10th floor at 2 p.m.
Nothing makes sense! It’s complete chaos on the bird app right now which, honestly, some of us love it that way.
But for everyone else who is really just out here to get these tweets off? Yeah, this probably stinks. And you might be ready to move on. But you also probably have nowhere to go now, right?
I mean, are we really going back to Facebook? Ain’t nobody trying to have Aunt Patty all up in their business again. We’re not 17 anymore, auntie. Sorry. Love you tho.
And Instagram? I mean, what is it, 2013? I guess it’s a fine alternative. But here’s the thing: Sure, I’m handsome. But I can’t be fly 24/7 anymore. That’s too much energy. Plus, do they even show pictures on IG anymore anyway?
Don’t even get me started on TikTok. They’ll have you out there like the “how do you do, fellow kids?” meme except for instead of holding a skateboard you’ll be doing the Savage dance despite it last being a trend two years ago.
So where do we go from here? Don’t trip. I have a few suggestions that might hit the mark for you. Let’s explore.
Watch our sneaker unboxing series, Special Delivery
Tumblr
OK. Look. I know Tumblr was all the rage in the early 2010s when we were all going through that phase. You know the phase.
It died down for a while and we all fully migrated to Twitter, abandoning our obscure blog posts for the quick-hit microblogs and jokes that caused us to fall in love with the bird app in the first place.
But look! It’s coming back! It’s becoming cool again. And, if you move now, you’ll beat everyone else back there so you can really call yourself a Tumblr Hipster, which is really the goal of Tumblr anyway. It’s a win-win.
Hurry up, though. Everyone is already starting to migrate.
hold up like 12 new ppl joined.
we're working on it. give it a sec :) https://t.co/Upd5HEaIBq— tumblr dot com the website and app (@tumblr) November 18, 2022
YouTube
YouTube isn’t Twitter. At all. Obviously, it’s a video-based platform and, after Facebook, there’s not a more utilized one out there.
The social appeal of Twitter isn’t necessarily there outside of the comment section. And, even then, it can get pretty nasty so you’ve got to be careful with that. But there are literally videos about everything on YouTube. You’ll be able to find documentaries, how-to posts, explainers and so much more. And you can interact with your favorite creators *ahem* like the Special Delivery team.
Yes, that’s a shameless plug. I don’t care.
I know I just lowkey roasted Instagram above there. And, honestly, those critiques are true.
Instagram has become more of a reel-based platform over the years. Pictures don’t really seem to be the priority anymore. And it also isn’t necessarily a platform where you can just shoot from the hip with mindless thoughts and posts, which is the appeal of Twitter for most users.
But, again, the comment section can be a treat when people aren’t being nasty. And you get to check in on your friends and see their pretty faces. They’ve also got DMs so you can create as many private chats as you want.
Mastodon
Let’s be honest, man. Everybody on Twitter keeps talking about Mastodon this, Mastodon that. That’s apparently where everyone is going.
‘Where we going, dad?’
‘Mastodon’ pic.twitter.com/sIwjMzisa0— Tom Reagan’s Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) November 4, 2022
But, uh, who in the world actually knows what Mastodon is? It’s supposed to be a decentralized social media platform where you can bounce from room to room talking about a subject. You follow servers, not people. And there are no algorithms or ads, apparently, which sounds cool. The creator seems pretty great, too.
But I’ll ask again: Who in the world actually knows what Mastodon is? Because I just explained it to you and I still have no idea what this thing does.
Guess there’s only one way to find out.
Geneva
Geneva is a platform I just learned about that sounds a lot like a group chat that can get pretty massive.
It’s like Slack without the burden of work involved or Discord without the…well…without the discord. Seems like a good time, honestly! It just doesn’t seem like it has the massive reach Twitter did. If you want to create a group chat between you and some Twitter buds, this is the move.
Substack Chat
This is for all the newsletter loving folks out there. If you want, you could just launch your own newsletter and have your buds subscribe.
You and the buds can then launch a substack chat to which all people who subscribe to your newsletter will have access to. You can have conversations and share pictures, videos, and all the other good stuff.
Here’s a quick video on it from one of the developers.
One of the most fulfilling feelings in software design is working super hard on a thing, over a sustained period of time, and then sharing it with the world.
Here be Substack Chat; I'm proud of this one.
Especially now. pic.twitter.com/fHEGn9IrSk
— Alex Cornell (@alexcornell) November 3, 2022
This sounds like a solid time. It just also sounds like a lot of work.
Y’all know the vibes with Reddit by now. It’s been around forever. It’s basically the early phases of the internet age persevering.
That’s not a bad thing — it can just get kind of weird sometimes. One day, you’ll be looking at a Reddit forum for your favorite television show and it’ll be all good. You’ll be floating out fan theories and reading other people’s thoughts and it’ll be really engaging.
The next day the app will recommend some sort of conspiracy thread to you and it’ll get murky very very very quickly.
Twitch
If you love video games, Twitch is for you. It’s a creator-based platform like Youtube so it’s obviously not the same social construct Twitter is.
But the guidelines on Twitch are strict. Creators are generally kind to their audiences and the vibes in streams are normally very good. It’s just a good overall platform to be on.
Myspace?????
TOM 4EVER.
Myspace still exists but it’s not the same. It doesn’t really look fun anymore. But who knows? If we all flock back at once?….naaaaaah.
