Ellie Simmonds just learned an incredibly difficult lesson the hardest way possible.
In upcoming ITV documentary Finding My Secret Family, she discusses being given up by her struggling mum at ten days old, and eventually being adopted by a wonderful family who ensured she never saw her dwarfism as something that could hold her back. Spoiler alert: it certainly hasn’t.
But she’d never wanted to ask why her birth mother decided she couldn’t raise her, until now.
As part of her emotional journey Ellie gets in contact with the family of the foster mum she lived with for three months, from when she was a tiny newborn of only two weeks. This woman’s son and daughter remember Ellie well.
“You were crying all the time the first few weeks, you were such a sad little girl and my mum sat with you and just kept loving you and nursing you until you were fine,” this selfless hero’s daughter tells the quintuple gold medal winner, in an extremely touching scene.
The daughter goes on to tell Ellie that her mum recognised her when she was at the Paralympics, watched her on TV, followed her career proudly.
“You were a very big part of her life. She always wanted to come and find you, the only reason she didn’t was because she wasn’t sure if you were aware you were adopted,” the son explains.
Ellie begins to cry, taking in the enormity of this unbelievably kind woman who was the first person to truly show her love, opening her home and heart to her. The bitter twist to this sweet story? The foster mother died last year.
“I left it too late,” Ellie is forced to accept.
But this heart-breaking realisation ultimately has a positive impact on her life.
“Missing out on meeting my foster mother has made me realise I will regret it if I don’t at least try to reach out to my birth mother now. I don’t want to leave it too late,’ she says.
With the help of a specialist social worker, a meeting is slowly arranged, and ends up being a very positive experience that helps Ellie “feel a bit more whole.” While her adoptive parents will clearly always be her parents, she feels her family has now “got a bit bigger,” as the burgeoning relationship with her birth mum begins to be built.
The moral of the story, which Ellie sadly discovered belatedly, is that when it comes to re-connecting, forgiving, and accepting important people in your life don’t wait until a tomorrow that isn’t promised. Once they’re gone, they’re gone for ever, and you will have to live with that regret for the rest of your days.
Food for thought, for even the most stubborn among us.
The other takeaway from this moving, highly recommended documentary is some well-deserved, humbling appreciation for the foster carers and adoptive parents of this world. Ellie Simmonds is the perfect example of the staggering difference your generous love can make.
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