If only President Joe Biden had the same magical powers Donald Trump used to declassify documents simply by thinking about doing so, as the former commander in chief insisted to his BFF Sean Hannity that presidents can do.
Imagine the wonderful possibilities. Biden could then:
▪ Stop inflation in its tracks.
▪ Assure us the COVID-19 pandemic is really, really over. Really.
▪ End the climate crisis.
▪ Stop the war in Ukraine and bring Putin back to his senses.
▪ Dry up Pakistan’s flood waters; turn the lights on in Puerto Rico; snuff out those wildfires out West; and make those hurricanes that might be stalking us go away.
▪ Place a protective shield around Taiwan.
▪ Restore women’s autonomy over their bodies.
▪ Coax QAnon back under its rock.
▪ Make Marjorie Taylor Greene JUST SHUT UP and get Herschel Walker to keep quiet and get help. (Georgia, Georgia . . . )
▪ Make the Democratic Party as disciplined and on-message as Republicans, but without the touch of Machiavelli.
What else? Gun violence would not exist. Neither would voter suppression. Housing would be affordable. Black lives and blue lives would truly matter (Jan. 6, 2021, anyone?) and LGBTQ Americans could live their lives in peace. Facts would matter, too. So would the unpleasant parts of American history.
And the former president and his family would play out their nefarious fantasies far from U.S. politics.
As for unclogging traffic in Miami? Nope, we need thoughts from a higher power on that one — and a magic wand might help.
