EDEN’S PROJECT
Kevin De Bruyne, good as ever? As the Manchester City machine crushed Brentford 3-1 to close in at the top, Jamie Carragher – just about calmed down from the Emirates – thought so. “If you put him in a Liverpool shirt, Liverpool would win the league,” he wailed. “I think that’s how dominant he is.” Comparisons were made with the greats of Our League. “Cantona, Zola, Bergkamp … he’s better than all of them,” squeaked Carra, though he omitted one name, another famous Belgian, a player very possibly more talented than King Kev. Only five months older, too.
Eden Hazard is something of a forgotten man, but was one of the very best players of the 2010s. Chelsea won the auction for Lille’s little genius in 2012, and for £30m, they got a player who was the creative inspiration behind two title wins, in 2014-15 under José Mourinho and then 2016-17, under Antonio Conte. There were nights when he was untouchable, slaloming through defenders, bullets in his boots, his shooting just as venomous as De Bruyne’s. It wasn’t all gravy. There were knack problems and public beefs with both Mourinho and Conte, among others. Hazard was never the type to sit through hours of analysis or do laptop study on opponents. He just wanted to play. Slotting home a penalty in the 2019 Big Vase final was his last act in blue before he got lost in the glitch of the space-time continuum recognised by leading physicists as ‘being rubbish for Real Madrid’. Similarly to Kaká, a brilliant player’s previously stratospheric heights were voided by being a Bernabéu bust.
The past weekend saw Hazard – £88.3m for 54 matches, just four goals – hit back by admitting that, yes, most of what he had been accused of was true. But also, you know, sod it, starting with recollections of turning up more than a stone overweight. “Now that I’m at Madrid, this is perhaps the last vacation I’ll be able to take,” he cooed. “And I let go of myself like I let go of myself every summer. Seven years in England, without a break at Christmas, giving everything, so when I have three or four weeks of vacation, ‘don’t bother me’, barbecues, rosé wine … all that.” Sounds like 5pm on a Friday for Football Daily.
Hazard went on to speak for the little man inside the bigger one, saying: “I like to eat and drink with my friends. Dieting is bull [snip – Football Daily Bad Word Ed], it doesn’t work. If you want to play until you’re 40, then OK. But I knew I wouldn’t be like that. I always have some champagne in my fridge.” Not for Hazard the afterlife that greets football’s elite: Saudi Arabia, MLS, annoying locals by not playing in lucrative friendlies. “Leave me with my friends, we go home, play cards, have a beer,” he roared, adding a kiss-off to his most famous teammate. “Cristiano [Ronaldo] is a bigger player than me but, in terms of pure football, I honestly don’t think [he’s better].” Using a beer/burger weighting, Hackney Marshes value system, it’s difficult to refute that purity rating.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“We had an open-door training session. I went out because there was such a big crowd and there was a clinic with the kids, and I wanted to be there and participate. But the truth is the discomfort was still there and it was very difficult to play. I can understand people were looking forward to it … For tomorrow, I don’t know, we’ll need to see how it goes in training. We still don’t know if I would be able to or not, but I feel much better than I did a few days ago and really want to play” – after incurring the wrath of fans in Hong Kong with his no-show for Inter Miami’s friendly, Lionel Messi opens the possibility of turning out in the next stop of their pre-season circus against Vissel Kobe.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I see that New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium has been chosen for the 2026 World Cup final (and the inevitable and elaborate closing ceremony that this entails). The stadium is just seven miles from downtown Manhattan, where the stars keep their fancy apartments. So if Diana Ross needs a penalty coach, I’d like to let her know that I’m available to travel up from Philadelphia from Mondays through to Fridays, and that it’s never too soon to start practising” – Justin Kavanagh.
Can I admit to being one of the woefully misguided West Ham supporters who TV pundits so righteously enjoy chastising for our ingratitude and entitlement whenever there are any reservations expressed about Moyesausaurus? ‘Be careful what you wish for,’ they sagely advise us. Even we poor fools who follow every excruciating minute realise that, in the words of the great man himself, a club like West Ham cannot expect to compete with the resources of Newcastle and … (ahem) Aston Villa, but losing 3-0 (and the fabled sixth place) to a barebones outfit like Manchester United really stings. Looking ahead, perhaps a two-year extension will give the Chosen One and Kevin ‘iPad’ Nolan the opportunity to finally burst all our pretty bubbles and show us that we had in fact been living the dream, even reaching the Sky (Super Sunday). Time to fade and die?” – Brian Withington.
Oh come on, we all know that the phrase ‘he really is’ (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) originates with Timperley’s finest, Frank Sidebottom. After an exhaustive search of YouTube (30 minutes), the closest I can get is this. But Frank fans will know” – Colin Sharples.
Re: Memory Lane (yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition). How nice to see a good, old-fashioned goal actually inserted into the ground. What’s with the current fashion whereby the goals aren’t even properly attached so that when a screamer goes in, the back of the goal lifts off the ground? I can’t wait for the day when an absolute thunderbolt (preferably from any Bournemouth player) tips the whole frame over” – Alan Mannings.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Brian Withington, who lands a copy of The Social One: why Jürgen Klopp was the perfect fit for Liverpool, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their football book store here.
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