An East Kilbride woman has opened up about her mother's attempts to kill her twice.
Monica Allan was only five years old when her mum, Elizabeth Mount, tried to drown and strangle her to death.
Elizabeth Mount also tried to end Monica's life when she was a baby. The mother was jailed and her child was placed in foster care.
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On the outside her new foster parents were devoutly religious and respectable, but, behind closed doors they subjected Monica to a slew of physical and sexual abuse.
She was told that she was unable seek compensation because of the “same roof” rule, meaning victims who lived with their attackers up to 1979 were ineligible for pay-outs.
The rule was in place until 1979 to ensure perpetrators didn’t benefit from any compensation claims. The change to the rule came too late for the now 55-year-old.
Monica fought her case at the Supreme Court and was awarded a payout from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority for the sexual abuse she suffered in foster care. She is awaiting a second settlement for the attacks carried out by her mother.
The mum-of-four has now shared her harrowing story in a new book called Abandoned.
Monica told Glasgow Live: "I was asked to do a book not long after I got my social work record.
"When I was reading the record that's when I realised the first attack from my mum happened when I was just three months old.
"I already knew about the second attack. I went to counselling and the counsellor said I should take the files to a lawyer.
"That's when I was given the number for Paul Brown legal agency. When I showed Paul Brown the files that is when he told me about the 'same roof' rule.
"I decided to open up about it because there are so many out there who are scared to come forward to speak about these things. I wanted to let them know my story and tell them it is ok to come forward.
"Sometimes when you speak out you feel free."
Although Monica believed writing this book was vital, revisiting her traumatic past proved to be agonising.
Many of the memories that had been locked away came flooding back.
The 55-year-old said: "When I was working with Paul Brown I was going over wee things but when I started working on the book that is when I needed to get into the nitty gritty things.
"It became very real and took me right back to those places. I was back in that bathroom, back up those stairs, it was very scary and emotional.
"It was quite difficult actually. There are some people in the book who have died but they have been brought back to life.
"It was extremely difficult, but I have no regrets doing it. It was a worthwhile experience for me.
"It took me a long time to get to this stage and maybe for some people they will never get to that stage and that's ok too.
"The book is there for others to relate to and feel like they are not the only one."
Growing up with two female role models that failed her has completely influenced the way that Monica has brought up her four children.
The author said: "She was my mum, the person a child goes to for help. It was the person you looked to for love and safety. I never had that.
"Throughout my life I never had that mother figure. I missed something I never had.
"I still haven't forgiven her, even though she passed a long time ago. Forgiving her may give me peace, but I just can't.
"Especially now that I have children. I don't how anyone, especially a mother, can do that to a child. I don't want to be anything like my mum, I want to be the complete opposite.
"I want my kids to feel loved, safe, secure and happy. I never want them to be scared at all."
Delving into her past was extremely challenging for the mum-of-four, but, Monica believes that the book has finally closed that chapter of her life.
Monica said: "This is somewhat of an ending to the story.
"There was parts of it that when I read I felt sad, but then I'd come to the realisation that the person in the book is me.
"It was mindblowing. I ran away from my mum at one point, when I was five.
"I walked 20 minutes to my gran's in the early hours of the morning because I was so scared."
"At first I was a wee bit nervous about the book going out, but now I'm proud of myself and I just hope that people relate to it.
"Anybody buying that kind of book has maybe gone through something. People in this generation are beginning to be more open and are starting to talk more."
Abandoned, published by Mirror Books, is on sale in paperback and ebook.
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