East Kilbride Probus Club had their Christmas lunch at Bonnyton Golf Club on the outskirts of Eaglesham.
After a few opening remarks from the President, Jim Ballantyne, John Mitchell said the Grace and they were off.
Following a nice festive lunch, the club were entertained by two of its members, Allan Stevenson and John Walker.
Allan recounted several anecdotes, some concerning John. For example, he said that John was a music snob and illustrated this by saying that he was the only man who could listen The William Tell overture and not think of the Lone Ranger.
He then told the tale of John and him fishing and John caught a conger eel.
Fine it was dead, but the hook had to be retrieved and so the safest way to do that was to cut off the head and unhook it from the back.
But no - not John. He proceeded to insert his hand through the mouth completely for getting that the Conger’s teeth are slope backwards and if you attempt to do it woe betide you. John did.
After a few more stories Allan concluded with the rendition of the poem, “Face on the bar room floor."
John stood up and asked if we knew of John Lee to which some wit replied ‘Lees Macaroon bars? In fact, apparently he was the only man that they could not hang.
Here was a man with a dubious past arrested and charged with murdering and lady, Miss Emma Keys, to whom he had been her butler.
Having been sentenced to death, he was brought to the gallows in front of James Barrie.
It is worth mentioning that he was probably the first educated man to hold the job and it was he who created the drop tables, which were/are still used all over the world today.
The lever was pulled and the trap refused to open. Two of the wardens jumped on the edge of the trap but still nothing.
When the third attempt failed, he was taken back to his cell and the home secretary commuted his sentence to 25 years.
The Gallows had been a potable unit and was checked thoroughly to discover that bolts were rusted, and the wood was warped.
On his release he married had a baby girl and died in 1947 age 84.
After the final thanks and the applause had died down, President Ballantyne closed the lunch with his seasonal best wishes and looked forward to meeting up again on the fourth January 2023, when Allan Stevenson will talk to the club about Thomas Muir - Creator of Scottish democracy.
For further information please access our EK Probus’s website.
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