WET WET WET
Located in the central lowlands of Scotland on the north bank of the Firth of Tay, just a few skims of a stone from the perishingly cold north sea, Dundee is often subject to inclement weather. On average it rains there 125 days a year and in recent weeks some of the heavier deluges have stymied Dundee’s attempts to host their Scottish Premiership match against Rangers. Last month’s game was kiboshed because the Dens Park pitch was rendered unplayable after a downpour and the game was rescheduled for Wednesday night. Due to be broadcast live on Sky and with 4,000 Rangers fans preparing to make the 80-mile trip from Glasgow, it once again fell foul of the weather, with referee Don Robertson deeming the pitch unplayable following his second inspection of the day. It is rare that one man’s solemn and often futile attempts to bounce a football in various parts of a quagmire have been subject to so much public scrutiny, but such was the air of gravitas lent to Robertson’s inspection they were afforded the liveblog treatment from the Daily Record’s digital news wing and subsequently prompted a furious reaction from Rangers.
Having hoped to beat Dundee and go two points clear of Celtic at the top of the table, the club instead felt forced to issue a short statement brimming with righteous indignation that went straight in two-footed on Dundee and did not let up in its furious pomposity at any point during its 230 words. “The negligence and unprofessionalism demonstrated by Dundee Football Club, where they have repeatedly breached SPFL rules, continues to have a damaging effect on the top professional league in the country,” thundered the missive from a club that has long been a byword for probity when it comes to following rules and regulations. “In a week where record TV viewing figures were recorded for a match in the same competition, and this evening’s game due to be televised again by Sky Sports, this episode is deeply embarrassing and has also been eminently avoidable.”
The heavy-handed statement subsequently called on the SPFL to sanction presumably one or all of Dundee, the fixture computer and the Met Office with the full force of the law and claimed their own proposed solutions to the thorny issue of when this game might get played had been ignored. Though it was not forthcoming on the details of those proposed solutions.
Of course Dundee are far from blameless in all this, what with this being the fifth game on their bog of a pitch to be postponed this season. Conceding it needed “urgent work”, their secretary Eric Drysdale blamed the increased rainfall brought about by climate change for the problems being endured. It is an excuse that might hold more water [Top punning! – Football Daily Ed.] if the sward in neighbouring Dundee United’s home of Tannadice was not currently in perfect nick. For any readers unfamiliar with the precise locations of both stadiums, with a fair wind an in-his-pomp Rory Delap could have probably thrown a football out of one and into the other. Sadly, the nearest Stoke’s human trebuchet got to Dundee was Carlisle United, so Football Daily can only speculate. Anyway, we digress. As things stand Dundee’s eagerly anticipated game against Rangers will now be played with added needle and is due to be postponed again next Wednesday night, weather – or the lack of it – permitting.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’ve been playing five-a-side on Monday nights, but it’s a little bit of a step up marking Usain Bolt … I’ll need to work on that high line. I’m looking to present myself as a no-nonsense centre-back, win my aerial battles and if I get in trouble just kick it out. I might wear a Forest under-shirt to keep the passion up” – retired England cricketer Stuart Broad tries to get his head around keeping the world’s fastest-ever man quiet when he plays the role of Harry Maguire for England’s Soccer Aid side.
RAGE AGAINST THE SEMI-AUTOMATED MACHINE?
The chief suits have convened around the boardroom table and made a riveting announcement, yes, the news we’ve all been so desperately waiting for, Christmas come early: the Premier League will use semi-automated offside technology next season. Hmm, weird that you’re not jumping with joy. Allow us, the highly technologically literate to explain. VAR teams will no longer have to get their big ruler out to draw offside lines, with tracking software used instead to speed up decisions. Graphics will be shown in stadiums to appease match-going fans and, according to the Premier League, the new tech will provide “consistent placement of the virtual offside line”. Successfully used at the 2022 Qatar World Cup, this will surely put an end to the abuse of officials, the hostility towards VAR and, ultimately, boost the health of the nation … right?
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
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FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: Gerald Cains’ Saturday Taxpayers (Wednesday’s Memory Lane –full email edition). Presumably the crowd were off to see West Ham?” – Mike Rice.
Is Football Daily finally showing that it actually knows a bit about football with its bold predictions for the quarter-finals of Big Cup? Got three out of four results correct and picked two out of four exact scores. I need to sit down for a minute” – Rod de Lisle (and no other flabbergasted readers).
With respect to your editorial comment on Mark Ward’s letter where he mentions 1,056 pendants, one less than the long-established 1,057 pedants, may I suggest that he’s considered that Ricks Carson has probably left?” – Todd Van Allen.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mike Rice.
• This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
• This article was amended on 12 April 2024 to remove an incorrect suggestion that Rangers turned down the option of playing Dundee the previous Wednesday.
